• YonderCrawdad@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    It’s not personal issues, it’s patriarchal issues. Just about every guy I know past a certain age, myself included, feel the burn from this. You are expected to just give give give and anytime you have needs, including some damn rest, you are looked down on for it and marginalized. You don’t see how much of a dog shit deal this is until you burn out.

    • 520@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      If you don’t have a reason to keep on living, you have to make one. Set your direction. You don’t have to live just to provide for others.

      • Shadywack@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        If you don’t have a reason to keep on living, you have to make one. Set your direction. You don’t have to live just to provide for others.

        It’s like you didn’t read what he said. You can do exactly that, set your own reason and start expressing yourself as you feel. The problem is that you are looked down on for it and marginalized. One of my best friends is gay, and he works in sales. He has to conceal much of himself to get by, and even in situations where he’s comfortable discussing his orientation, even amongst his own circles the issue of talking about your feelings is still difficult for people to accept.

        If it’s an issue for gay people, imagine how fucked it is for straight people. Your comment comes off as if you clicked reply on the wrong thing.

        • 520@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          I get that it isn’t simple or easy. There are parts of myself that I hide in public too, things that shouldn’t matter but for some reason do.

          But if people are demanding that you give and give and give until there is nothing left, you owe it to yourself to either tell them to get fucked or find a way to get them out of your life. Easier said than done, I know, but it is the only way you will be free of that bullshit.

          • Shadywack@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            you are looked down on for it and marginalized

            You just said and exact quote

            you owe it to yourself to either tell them to get fucked or find a way to get them out of your life.

            When that list includes your own mother, father, siblings, supervisor at work, and SO, I think your advice is tantamount to amputating a limb because of the discomfort it experiences in life, as opposed to recognizing the issue. I’m taking what you’re saying as aloof to the very subject matter here, and hence the subject we’re discussing here in the first place. The idea of telling your loved ones to get fucked and get them out of your life is in line with the issue of suicide, depression, and anxiety.

            The depression from where you just became lonelier, and the suicide as many people see it as an “out”. You may as well just say, go kill yourself if you don’t like this world…and then we’re back to square one again.

            Either way, have a nice downvote for your terrible attitude. I hope you have something better to say than the old “toughen up” advice that constitutes what makes this fucked.

            • 520@kbin.social
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              1 year ago

              If I sound aloof then I am sorry. But I have had to make similar choices. Saying goodbye to shit people can be truly difficult, but it’s either that or endure their shit if they won’t listen to you.

              I am not saying to wallow in loneliness. You will need to find non-shit people to make a friend network, even just a small one.

              It is a lot of effort and even the prospect is scary as fuck…but living a life enduring an untenable burden will never be better.

              Sometimes life gives us impossible choices. Like upend everything or live in misery.

          • Kedly@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            Bud, we hide this shit because the punishment for not doing so is worse than whatever we gain from not hiding it, we wouldnt have started hiding it if it weren’t

              • Kedly@lemm.ee
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                1 year ago

                Ok and? I have autism too and the point still stands. The world we live in exists as it is and we have to work with that, fair or not. Isolation and ostracization arent healthier for you mental health than learning what you can and cant say

                • 520@kbin.social
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                  1 year ago

                  Bruh, did you read what I wrote or did you skim it? I talked about cutting off toxic people, not isolating yourself totally.

                  • Kedly@lemm.ee
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                    1 year ago

                    Most people get choosy about their inner circle as they get older. The issue is that most of us still have to interact with society at large outside of our inner circle, and no, telling people who you interact with at work or while grocery shopping to fuck off doesnt end well

      • njm1314@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        May I suggest revenge? Great reason. Also nazi hunting is pretty sweet. Take a few of the bastards with you.