I don’t think its pushing it too far if that is what you are saying, I think their problem is a fundamental one of not understanding the difference between respecting yourself/others and getting off.

If you understand when you are getting yourself off (and that might be a really non-sexual thing, I am using this broadly) you have the agency to get yourself off without hurting yourself or others and more importantly to actually focus on getting yourself off in a way that is best for you.

If you understand when you are participating in an internalized stereotype about yourself, you have the agency to step back and consider whether there might be a different arrangement of those desires and fears that was much healthier for you and everyone around you that still satisfied whatever is animating that stereotype within you.

Or to put it another way, trad-wife people don’t understand the basic reason that community theater can be so rewarding, acting as a character can be a powerful way of experiencing reality and deepens the experience of the human condition but actors are adults about it and realize the difference between playing a character on stage and being an asshole in real life (most of the time they do, damn actors can be full of themselves sometimes though hahaha).