It’s been around a month since I started questioning my gender. I’m really confused on all of this, seeing a therapist would help but that’s not an option for me at the moment (don’t want to go into details about that here). Biggest source of confusion for me is the fact that there are some strong signs that I’m trans but at the same time I don’t feel like a woman (nor anything othet than a man). Does this happen to trans women before egg crack or any form of transitioning? This question is a huge roadblock for me at the moment in terms of questioning, it feels like I won’t get anywhere with this without finding amswer to it. It probably won’t be final answer to everything but even if I’m trans transitioning would’t be safe for 4-5 years so I have enough time to explore my identity.
Edit: Thank you all for responding, it’s really helpful. Now I’m a bit more sure that I’m trans but I’ll try to experiment in a safe way until I’m able to talk with therapist about this.
Currently going through this as well, it kind of feels like you’re losing who you were before finding who you are, right? Whenever I question it I think back to what made me realize/question things in the first place and hold onto the flashes of my female self that I occasionally see in the mirror. Change comes slow, and personally I never really felt attached to my gender my entire life and honestly it’s been difficult to start feeling it now. Just keep in mind you don’t have to have it all sorted out now, your understanding and feelings about yourself can and will change and that’s ok!