Ooh, it must’ve been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water.

It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes, and I yelled. I said, “What do you want from us, monster?!” And the monster bent down and said, “…Uh I need about tree-fitty.”