Who here is parenting an ND child?
Has finding out their diagnosis also led to you or their other parent to a late diagnosis?
Any resources you’d like to share with the community?
Who here is parenting an ND child?
Has finding out their diagnosis also led to you or their other parent to a late diagnosis?
Any resources you’d like to share with the community?
Obligatory “not a parent”, but my parents worked their butts off to make sure I turned out okay so I think I can contribute a little. I wouldn’t blame people for feeling like I was spoiled.
I’ve been lucky enough to be in Massachusetts which is the home of the Aspergers / Autism Association.
My parents took advantage of my early diagnosis to educate my teachers, at least in Elementary and early Middle School. A few teachers in particular became unofficial advocates for me, and they helped develop an IEP for me (Massachusetts has a SPED program that it actually funds).
Practical things we did (that I can remember) outside of the IEP stuff mostly revolved around making sure I was “at my best”, my personal best, rather than outright forcing me to be someone I wasn’t. For instance:
Make sure I drink enough water (Seriously dehydration + a 10 yo with autism not a good combo)
Do a little meditation every day (it’s a workout for your frontal lobe! Great for learning to manage sensory problems without being an awful ABA thing)
Incorporate “exposure therapy” into my day in little, low-pressure ways. For instance I was a very picky eater, my mom made a deal with me that I always had to try whatever was on her plate but I could always spit it out into a paper towel or something if I couldn’t deal with it.
Literally had a period on some days in middle school (OK, this was an IEP thing but still) where the school stuck the antisocial kids in a room together to just hang out. There were three of us, the other two were almost certainly ND as well. We ended up being very good friends and I remained friends with one of them until the end of HS.
I guess my main point is that I believe I experienced a happy medium where my parents firmly made sure that I kept growing, but didn’t always force me into situations I hated. They respected my boundaries as much as they could while still pushing me to have a good life. I won’t claim that I was “fixed” but I went from a kid who bashed his head against concrete when he was upset and had mental breakdowns over someone breaking the rules in Monopoly to an adult who a lot of psychologists wouldn’t diagnose with autism (because they’re uninformed, not because I was cured). I’m still a barely functional adult, but I’d be an even less functional adult otherwise.
Adult diagnosed at 51 and I just want to second the recommendation for AANE - they’re based in MA, but they’ve literally gone global during the pandemic - zoom sessions with people from all over the world. And very targeted support groups for different types of individuals as well as family.