So I know everyone is going to answer “yes”, but I want actual real thoughts. I just want to know where I fit in.
I’m AMAB, and present as male, at least on the surface. I’ve always felt that was wrong though. But I don’t necessarily think I’m a woman. I wish I was more feminine. And recently I started full body laser hair removal, and I have pretty long hair, and currently have my toe nails painted. But I also have a beard, and otherwise present totally as cis.
Am I “trans”? I don’t feel “cis”, but I feel like calling myself trans just isn’t accurate and is inappropriate. Is there any other option?
And a complicating factor is that I’m basically only attracted to female presenting people. I see a lot of mtf trans people posting online “t4t”. Would other trans people consider me “trans”?
The best advice I could give is to follow your happiness first, the label second. When I first started experimenting i felt like men’s clothing was a chain so I tried more women’s, read gender trouble decided that agender made the most sense for me and wore whatever I wanted. It wasn’t until a few months of that did a stranger greet me as “Ma’am” and it sorts stopped my heart.
Once I realized being seen as a woman made me happy, why stop? Why EVER stop? Labels don’t define who we are, but they are helpful little handholds to communicate with others. So instead of telling people that I am non-binary agender who enjoys traditional femininity, I say “woman” because that’s just easier for everyone. That doesn’t mean it’s the only way you could describe me, but it’s the one that makes life easier.
If this helps, I assure you that no trans person will ever accuse you of “stolen valor” for questioning and figuring yourself out. This is a super duper common experince we all have at some point, and if all you can say for sure is that you don’t feel cis that’s more than enough! Labels exists only so others can understand you better, figure yourself out first! If all you know is queer and questioning well that’s more than enough! There is no wrong answers and only you can decide on what’s the right one.
I know this is hard, but I’m proud of anyone who interrogates themselves to see what’s truly inside. I’m proud of you for making this post! But try not to worry about what others may feel, focus more on how their perception makes YOU feel. Gender is a performance, but you yourself are the audience.