Ben Lovejoy / 9to5Mac: Apple’s Activation Lock for iPhone components will make a huge dent in the market for stolen iPhones, though it introduces another barrier to DIY repairs — Apple’s latest theft-prevention measure went live for beta testers yesterday: Activation Lock for iPhone components.
That is some seriously gish gallop. Nothing you’ve said is based on reality.
Do you want to go into any kind of detail?
It reads a lot like an LLM. I think it could be re-written into a cohesive flowing argument rather than disparate bullet points.
You think the other guy’s critique of my comment being “not based in reality” while giving not the slightest clue about their own thinking is because the bullet point style makes it look like an LLM?
The bullet points make the multiple arguments easily seperatable in case of discussions, so I like them. They stay.
You don’t have to edit your message, nobody is suggesting that. It is, however, terse and unclear.
I really like the book “Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace” by Williams [1], you should check it out if you have time. It has a lot of good advice that is easy to apply.
See Also Elements of Style by EB White [^2].
ISBN: 0-321-89868-0 ↩︎
Do you mean “The Elements Of Style” by William Strunk Jr? The style guide for formal grammar from 1959 (newest version from 2005)? If not, do you have an IBAN for me?
Sorry I got my wires crossed with a similar book of the same name.
I’ve edited my above comment to be clearer, I mean this one:
0-321-89868-0
I’ll look into it, thanks!