I’m about to start my 12 week paternity leave next week thanks to a state program and almost everyone that I’ve told has had their jaws on the floor that I would even want to do that.
Today I witnessed a group of coworkers almost bragging how little time they took after their kids were born. I’ve heard stuff like “Most men are hard working and want to support their families so they don’t take leave”.
To me it was a no brainer, I’m getting ~85% of my normal pay and I get to take care of my wife, our son and our newborn for 3 whole months. and for someone who hasn’t taken a day breathe in the past 3 years I think I deserve it.
I’m in the US so I know it’s a “strange” concept, but people have seemed genuinely upset, people it doesn’t affect at all. Again, it’s a state program available to almost anyone who’s worked in the past 2 years, I’ve talked to soon to be dads who scoffed at the idea and were happy to use a week of pto and that’s it.
I feel like I’m missing something.
You’re the smart one. Fuck the haters. Ignore them.
Pretty sure THEY are the ones missing something. They’ve been brainwashed into thinking you should be embarrassed NOT to shun your family so you can be at work 24/7 to make someone else rich. Take advantage of that program while it still exists.
It’s the typical toxic corporate pressure.
Fuck machismo.
Ignore them. If you can, should you try and stagger the time off with your s/o. Don’t take it at the same time.
Enjoy it. A great number of people in the US have been conditioned to tie up their sense of worth to their job, and can’t comprehend there’s more to life.
I’d take 12 years paternity leave if I could.
My main thought on paternity leave is that it should be exactly the same as the maternity leave so that there is no difference between hiring a man or a woman.
This or eventually give a total amount to the couple and let them decide to split according to their needs (with a minum each partner, maybe).
Downside there is the company can then try and pressure one of them, usually the man, into not taking much/any.
It’s just hyperbolic masculine capitalism being parroted. Live in the U.S. south and have dealt with many friends and their relatives who have said the same shit. I’ve been around long enough to see those same people completely fall apart when the lives at home just crumble because they’re too busy with work (illness, deaths in family, etc). They always eventually come to regret the decisions and times they’ve missed once they get in their later years.
There’s nothing wrong with choosing to prioritize a work career in one’s life though, but hating on someone else’s choice is just ridiculous.
What moron would pass up on 85% paid leave??
Furlough was such a sweet deal during the covid lockdowns. Like 80% pay and no work? Sign me up!
Work is something I do, not who I am.
Americans have been indoctrinated to feel their work is their worth.
Any man that thinks work is more important than spending time with the family is a bad father. I say this as the son of a bad father.
It is a no brainer dude. Absolutely take the leave. You know how the work culture is here in the US, it’s pretty ridiculous. The “Live to Work” crowd is getting pretty old now though so I have seen a shift in corporate culture where I am at.
Life at home would have to be pretty bad for me to rather be at work.
I have four kids and I took ~6 weeks of paternity leave for each of them (which was in my contract—I’m an Episcopal priest, though I still went in on Sundays because I was going to go to church regardless so I might as well lead services and save the parish money on paying what we call a “supply priest”). It’s absolutely worth it and don’t let anyone make you feel weird about it. You’re doing a great thing for your partner and child—as well as yourself. Babies are a lot of work for dads as well! Acting like dads don’t need paternity leave is a form of patriarchy.
Don’t listen to those morons. Paternity leave is a legit great way to stay with your wife and children when they need it the most.
Yea F those tools that judge you on wanting to be there for your wife and kid.
For some providing a reliable income is their way of supporting, but man is it great to actually provide the time to be there in person
When my daughter was born, I was blown away to find that my company offered 16 weeks paternity leave. A couple of weeks before my wife was due, I was talking to a coworker and found that his wife was also pregnant, but he didn’t know about our company’s parental leave policy. He had only been planning to take a couple of weeks. After we talked I found out he took the whole thing.
That four months was one of the greatest times of my life, getting to know my newborn daughter.
Three years later I was in a different job when my son was born. They offered three days. Six months later I found a new job, and I took an extra month off during the transition, just so I could spend every day with my son.
I don’t regret any of that. I can’t even imagine what that would feel like. I love my children and love being a dad. This is life. This is all we get.
I bet you’re an awesome husband and dad. If you can afford it, it’s absolutely a no brainer.
