Well, as the title said: I got the courage to finally go out with a skirt. Specifically i would meet up with a friend and his girlfriend in the next city, eat something and then go to the club. The worst part was, when I had to walk through my city wearing it, since Im absolutely paranoid, that anything about me being trans comes to my family through some of my brothers fellow students (he studied at the same University as I do and I am active in the same social circles as he was), since Im not out to them already. The only reason I was able to go to the train station was, since I smoked some weed to be a little bit more relaxed, wore it over my pants (also because it would be cold at night when I was coming back and I also needed them for the pockets), listened to unhealthily loud deathmetal, wore my most comfy hoodie and pulled the hood over my head and completely hid my skirt with a jacket I knotted around my hips. The walk to the train station was pure stress for me. If someone would have poked me with a needle i would probably have exploded like a baloon. After I arrived in the city I was getting a little bit more comfortable and started not covering my skirt completely all the time.

After we arrived at the club me and my friend + his gf had a little chat and I said, the name that I previously told them I thought about is the one I wouldlike to be called, and so they did. We then went into the club, where I first started not hiding my skirt in any form at all. The next few hours were the best of hours of my life. It felt soooooooooooo good getting called my new name and being referred as “she” and knowing that I really am seen the way I am (it also massively helped, that the club wasnt that full, that there werent any weird people and noone cared about me wearing a skirt) and getting supported my friend and his gf. The only bad thing was me getting short bursts of dysphoria from knowing that my apperaence doesnt match what I feel like and how i am being seen, but aside from that it was pure happiness.

Today was also probably I have been the happiest Ive been ever. Even when I tried LSD for the first time I was just at the same level of happiness. I just felt loved for the first time ever (again, without taking LSD). Devinetively a truely beautiful day. Later I went out to grab some Icecram, socialise a bit with some other cool people from my town (to whom Im not out yet, but they are still completely cool and tolerant) and grab some pizza. The euphoria ended around evening, but it was still a very good day.