• Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      2·
      2 hours ago

      Granted, your pocket is a worm hole into another dimension, but the location hqppens to be a pocket of the same size and constant, stable connection has been created. Making it feel like a normal pocket.

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      1·
      6 hours ago

      Thank you. I will make sure to fulfill your wish! Guess I’ll go to the cinema tonight afterall :)

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      4·
      16 hours ago

      Hey I hope you are ok. I would never do that to you. I hope that whatever you are going through will pass and that you don’t give up on living, as painful as that might be right now.

      I just want you to know that this random internet wizard wannabe is sincerely wishing you well and hopes you can catch a break from all the shit life is throwing at you right now.

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      2·
      1 day ago

      Your mind seems to be in conflict, but I see that this is due to another person here summoning a demon which is distorting your ability to think right now. I’ll bring you potatoes, oil and herbs (to make chips in the oven) to remove the effect.

  • Ziglin (it/they)@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    1 day ago

    If this offer is still available I’d like a cool skirt with pockets and a comfy cloak that avoids dragging on stairs.

    Read only after drafting response to first half.

    To me it sounds like you’re not really a wizard but rather went to magic school to become a magic lawyer and picked up some cantrips between ethics classes…

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      1·
      1 day ago

      Cloaks need to come back into style, so granted. But skirt with pockets? You’ll only find that in the school of !witchymemes@lemmy.world. Those witches are powerful beyond my ability.

      Edit after reading the second part: Rude, How dare you! I might have barely passed but I’m still a full member of the Wizard School Alumni! I take the cloak back, thank you.

  • Sunsofold@lemmings.worldEnglish
    2·
    1 day ago

    Which reality? I want tacos if it has them, or ghunsht if it has them, but I’ll settle for plzgtsk’ or some portabello mozzarella sticks.

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      2·
      1 day ago

      What have you done! You just summoned the great Acos’sht’gtsk!

      Edit: and they brought portabello mozzarella sticks - all good.

  • SapphironZA@sh.itjust.works
    6·
    2 days ago

    Giant Space Laser that automatically zaps the 100 evilest people in the world each day. Determined by who negatively impacted the quality of life of the most people that day.

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      31·
      2 days ago

      Done, but it can’t penetrate a specific magical shield (sunscreen) and it’s eco friendly so it’s a bit slow. Gets faster with time though as the evil people keep doing evil things and unfortunately doesn’t discriminate who it zaps :( wear your magishields (sunscreen)!

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      15·
      2 days ago

      I feel like I shouldn’t joke about this one as it might be more than a flu, so I won’t write a joke comment. I sincerely hope that your niece gets better and I wish them strenght to fight biology against all odds. I know that your niece is loved, because you writing this comment means that they are in your thoughts, and that makes me happy.

      Love them unconditionally and you will also give them strength to carry on and fight their body or external attacks against the body. The world throws shit at us every chance it gets, but your niece is a strong warrior who has survived until now. Support them, give them love, be there for them so they can build up their strenght when it’s momentarily waining.

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      10·
      2 days ago

      Unfortunately I can not directly alter the human mind as it’s against the wizard code of ethics :( But I do that on my own and try to do my best to remove ignorance and hate from the minds of people with the power of projecting compassion where possible. If a human is too deep in their own ignorance, then I try to protect others around them to the best of my ability.

      • Etterra@discuss.onlineEnglish
        6·
        2 days ago

        We’ll I guess I’ll just have to let the SCP Foundation know that I’ve found a dangerous reality bender. Unless you want to rethink that stance.

        • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
          6·
          2 days ago

          I mean… I’m just a jobless dude with a long beard… spare some change? No wizardry or magic hoopity poopitys here sir.

      • 𝕽𝖚𝖆𝖎𝖉𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍@midwest.social
        2·
        2 days ago

        Ok, then put a “truthiness” meter on all media, which can’t be removed. It should not beat around the bush: if something is a lie, it should say “lie!” If someone is lying, it should say “liar!” If someone truly believes something, but are simply wrong or misinformed, it should have a truthiness meter.

        It should do this for all news, anything masquerading as news, and televangelists. Fiction presented as fiction without pretense of being fact is exempt.

        The meter should resist all attempts at hiding, filtering, and removal. It should apply to all media.

        • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
          2·
          2 days ago

          I … uh … did I tell you I can conjure a sandwich? Sandwiches are pretty nice. And takes away the helpless feeling we have when we can’t directly affect the world in the way we would like to.

          A sandwich will restore your energy, give you a sense of control (since you choose what your sandwich is made out of) and encourages you to make noise, sign petitions and spread the word about the dangers of mis/disinformation and why someone would want to spread such information.

          Conjure your sandwich, then plant the seed of that truthmeter into the minds of people.

  • Kyrgizion@lemmy.world
    12·
    2 days ago

    Can you bring me some of that “existential wonder” feeling, you know, the opposite of existential dread? I’ve been having a bit of a surplus of the latter, if anyone wants any…

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      7·
      2 days ago

      Granted, please study this scroll (website): https://www.gapminder.org/

      (BEFORE YOU ENTER THAT WEBSITE READ THIS: I know people are incredibly pessimistic about good news on lemmy, but please know that the linked website was created by Hans Rosling (RIP), his family and the foundation they created to carry on his work. Hans Rosling was a swedish physician and an academic who wrote “Factfulness” (that I highly recommend to everyone, even though it was pre-corona pandemic) and who believed in a better world enough to dedicate his life to make it better)