God, I love this stupid movie.
My partner is a backer for the sequel, so we’re patiently awaiting its arrival. Soon…
Does he has freaking lasers?
Fuckin love this movie.
Don’t. I’ve sat down for 3 viewings of this curséd video and yet somehow seen the movie 6 times. My soul has been scoured by this film and it stole decades from my life force.
Was pretty funny and camp the first time tho
Surprisingly a good movie and had me laughing like Kung Pow: Enter the Fist! Highly recommend it for a laugh.
Isn’t this the movie that has a scene of main characters loved ones getting blown up in a car bomb or something … but they didn’t have the budget to recreate the scene and rather than just not play it … they used a title card instead …
I found the scene …
Now I want to watch the whole thing
“your parents died, it’s what parents do!”
I like how at the end the camera is just kinda panning around like the viewer is embarrassed by the bad acting on display.
The main character is clearly a Catholic Priest. Why is his priest collar not white (they are just little inserts)? Is this a new style, or were they trying to be respectful of Catholics and making him not quote a Catholic Priest?
Whole movie is also on YouTube https://youtu.be/4kDwOuLQH4I
I’m sold.
It’s… beautiful.
It reminds me of when I pirated one of the 16 million X-Men and or Wolverine movies but the effects weren’t complete so it was just concept art as placeholders but this is so much better.
Wolverine: origins? I recall getting my hands on an unfinished copy that had no sfx in certain scenes lol
It’s possible, it was like 10 years ago or so. There was an airplane.
i dont know how they got all those fx artists for the budget, but the fx are so top notch i honestly thought it was real footage. 👏 bravo.
The burning car fx was best by far so realistic
Pastor: Prostitute, please, Share your wisdom.
Holy shit it’s real
And it’s glorious. Watch it at least once.
Just like “Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter” is real.
I also had to look it up in disbelief.
Bad movies aren’t fun if they’re bad on purpose, though. They need to be bad because they’re a failed attempt at a good movie, made by someone who’s either talentless, insane, degenerate, or (ideally) all three. That’s why it’s so much fun to watch The Room or Double Down or After Last Season: those movies are the sincere but crushed dreams of crazy charlatans. Conversely, that’s why crap like Sharknado is so boring, it’s because there was no attempt to reach something. Asylum movies like that are the film equivalent of the kind of person who keeps repeating the same three Monty Python references.
In general, I agree that “bad on purpose” movies rarely work the way truly failed passion projects do. Stuff like The Room or Samurai Cop are endlessly fascinating because you’re watching someone’s ambition crash and burn under the weight of their own limitation. It’s failure as unintentional art.
Sharknado and the rest of The Asylum’s output, by contrast, are manufactured junk food. They’re winking at you the whole time, saying “look how silly we are,” which makes the joke wear thin almost instantly.
But Velocipastor doesn’t fit into the “Sharknado” camp. The difference is intent. Sharknado had a $2 million budget, a cynical production pipeline, and the backing of a company that churns out disposable content purely because they know it’ll turn a profit on streaming or TV. It’s commerce first, creativity second. Velocipastor, on the other hand, had a shoestring budget of $36k scraped together from personal connections. It’s essentially a backyard passion project made by people who wanted to have fun, and that spirit comes through on screen.
Yeah, it’s deliberately goofy, but it also embraces its limitations in a clever way. Things like the “VFX car explosion” gag or the deliberately clunky dinosaur costume work precisely because the film knows how far it can stretch itself. It’s not pretending to be Hollywood, and it’s not trying to be “so bad it’s good” in a cynical way. It’s more like watching a group of friends get wildly creative with no resources, and instead of feeling hollow like Sharknado, it ends up being genuinely entertaining.
you go watch Lobster Man from Mars until you enjoy it
one of the aliens is a fuzzy football on a string! and you can still see the string if i remember it’s been a while!
You’d probably enjoy Iron Sky
Retract your statement or I shall say "Ni!" again.
How do you know 'tis but a messiah?
If this swallow weights the same as a deceased parrot…
A naughty repairman!
I highly recommend the movie “the man who killed Hitler and then the Bigfoot,” it’s truly a masterpiece
Is it? Frankly it seemed a bit slow. The parts about killing Hitler and Bigfoot were fun, but it was predominantly about an old man somberly reflecting on his past.
Yeah it’s more melancholic and the bigfoot stuff is more of a backdrop.
I found this randomly years ago, we freaking loved it and it’s low budget chonky magic. I tell everyone they’ll never see anything like it
I hope it’s a life-sized velociraptor.
Easily the best movie ever made.
And ninjas.
That bit got me so bad! I’m like
“oh… OH, ok… I see… FUCK, NINJAS, I GOTTA WATCH THIS THING!”
