So I am on a dorm in further away city, with a roommate, unfortunately. (Yes, the title makes sense)
However, I am not quite good at the people stuff.
I don’t quite feel comfortable being near people, or hell, even randomly accessible (i.e. doors without a lock). I kind of have a hard time even just doing anything. Basically, the only non-awkward feeling place I can look at is my laptop or phone screen, as usual in such spaces with people.
Hell, I’ve been here since 2nd Sept. and I haven’t even figured out the canteen or laundry room (I’ve been home twice), so I just keep living on supermarket junk.
For the former, I don’t know where to take the tray and cutlery, how to choose food, where to return plates + cutlery, in which order to do the first 2, and I didn’t yet really get to observe people.
For the former, I had questions about payment (card only - no PIN pad), but they haven’t answered my e-mail.
My roommate has left for a few minutes, so I got to stand up, walk around and listen to radio while thinking.
When he came back, I finally left in search of a more private place. Hell, at this point the alone time in elevator feels heavenly.
Library? Meh, there will be people.
How about a park? There probably won’t be many people at 9PM. I checked the map, but the park-like thing turned out to be a cemetery. Well fuck it, that’s a large chunk of land with trees (and there’s benches).
So I tried to go there, and then found out it has opening hours…
I tried to search around for an alternative entry point, but didn’t find one (the fence isn’t climbing-friendly).
Yeah, yeah, but a green space in a city is a scarce resource.
It may not be applicable for you, but to get through the anxiety of somewhere with a clear order but it’s not posted anywhere like the canteen, I scope a food I want then channel this energy:
And focus on I want the food I want like I’m a gremlin that requires mango more than anything (to give me the energy and will to do the talk to get the food)
And that usually ends up with me bothering people awkwardly but once I get through it I’m set. Like just hitting whoever works there with “I want sandwich, how?” and then they thus far have always just told me what to do usually in full, so it’s paid off
The mango rev is key for me, again may not be your key - but maybe you are a mango gremlin too
Sorry about the lack of public spaces in this society tho it real
For the former, I don’t know where to take the tray and cutlery, how to choose food, where to return plates + cutlery, in which order to do the first 2, and I didn’t yet really get to observe people.
I felt that. I have a debilitating fear of social interactions where I don’t know the correct way to act ahead of time. Having to consciously parse and adapt to what other people are doing, in real time, is my idea of hell.
Society needs a manpage.
Unfortunately, the people who can’t respect others or the earth have ruined things for the rest of us.
Sadly becoming more common in places, because people can’t stop fucking with graves. I really hate it. I love walking around the cemetery. Even like taking some time to help clean up headstones, or record their fading epitaphs.
They’ve put fences and hours up around a lot of the ones in my area, and the few that don’t are full of empty beer cans, cigarette butts, and generally never cared for. Hell, even going into those can get a bit hairy, as there are some people who keep leaving animal corpses around them.
