Murder for hire
My favorite emo band
$20 for bread crumbs?! These crows must be living in the USA.
😂 the allegory
I’ve been feeding roasted (and unsalted) peanuts to my local crows for three years now. Those ungrateful bastards haven’t given me shit in return. One time I thought they had given me some little seeds and berries, but I realized they had just puked those up to make room for the peanuts.
ungrateful bastards
You know maybe if you have them better nuts than peanut they’d be more appreciative. Also cold hard cash.
What kind of nuts should I give them? Deez?
Do you have a designated table you put the peanuts on?
I knew a guy years ago who managed to start trading with the crows in our neighborhood by having a table with two sections, one with bird snackies, the other empty (I think he may have put some foil there at one point?) so they’d have a place to put their payment.
The always got little plastic things, bits of mylar, twistie ties and what not.
Do you have a designated table you put the peanuts on?
Lol I get enough abuse from my neighbors for feeding the crows as it is. If I put out a crow table they’re going to sic ICE on me.
There she is now officer! The crow lady!!
if you happen to find yourself in a similar situation where you’re the sugar daddy for a murder of crows, get them some nice peanuts and sunflower seeds instead! bread isn’t good for birds!
Seed me daddy! I don’t want bread.
OwO
Username does not check out. My crow friends love meatballs.
You don’t want to be bread?
Oh well…
Bread crumbs is all I have rn
Ehh. You’re more of a fence than a sugar daddy. You move stolen loot for a cut.
Also, one assumes you’re not fucking them.
Bold to assume
Brand new sentence
Murder-daddy
The photo is of a raven, not a crow. That said, exchanges of this sort with corvids has always been a bucket list item of mine.
Same!! 🥺 I have a bunch that live by me, but they have a far enough range so I don’t see them every day and can’t seem to get their attention. Any corvid experts here that can give me some tips?
Dammit I gotta figure out tags because I want to tag you “Cawlin”
What is the difference between a raven and a crow? One major difference is that ravens have 3 pinion feathers on each wing, whereas crows only have two.
So its really just a difference of a pinion
Goddamnit. Sitting here ready to subscribe to crow facts and you got me with a freakin pinion joke.
Well done.
Apparently, ravens are so huge that if you see one you will not be in doubt that it can’t be a crow. At least that’s what I’ve been told.
Raven at the Tower of London. They are big, with massive beaks.
TBF even crows are a lot bigger than what I always thought crows were. I’ve seen them up close since I’ve been feeding my local murder peanuts, and these guys are the size of roaster chickens.
This is how it was explained to me by a very elderly, birdwatching family member… If you ever go “whoa, that’s a really big crow,” you’re probably wrong
Yup. The few I met at Yellowstone were approaching small eagle size.
Yup. They also have a way bigger beak and “scruffier” looking feathers, which is what I noticed in the pic. I love birds.
That sounds rippin
Here’s the thing…
Don’t let your dreams be dreams, future bro to birds
They have the money but probably aren’t allowed in the stores to buy it themselves.
It’s either
1.) Facilitating the financial self-sufficiency of local avian wildlife or
2.) The bird equivalent of buying alcohol for your kid cousins who are standing outside the liquor store.
Both of which are rad
I kinda wish all the stray/feral cats I’ve befriended would start coughing up some cash once in awhile instead of dead mice and hairballs for me.
You lack gratitude.
And money!
the cats lack humanity
You lack felinity.
And they wouldn’t have it any other way!
Bread should not be fed to birds.
Sauce: https://www.birdsandblooms.com/birding/attracting-birds/feeding-birds/can-birds-eat-bread/
What about Ezekiel bread? (Made from legumes, not grains)
Yesh. Ezekiel bread is okay. Good catch.
This tracks for $20 for bread. That shits except expensive! 😭
Florida man arrested after training crows to steal the declaration of independence for him.
OP is a modern Fagin
you can’t just call people by that slur
a lot of people have trained crows to steal money for them… it’s very illegal….
probably not getting cash from restaurant tables.:.
people have also trained ferrets to steal jewelry and used them as burglars….It’s not “training crows to steal money”, it’s introducing crows to capitalism
for the crows it’s a gift-based society, not capitalism
Theyrethesamepicture.jpg
I want to train a common animal to pick locks. Any recommendations?
A black bear in the Adirondacks (her name was Yellow-Yellow) learned and is believed to have taught her cubs how to open BearVault canisters. she was shot in 2012 but Adirondack bears continue chewing through canisters…
Raccoons have opposable thumbs and thief masks, definitely S tier lockpicker race
I think so too, but how are their teaching skills? I want to cause a multi-generational problem of raccoons robbing vending machines.
yes, get a transparent lock and picks from any large online retailer….
they’re cheap, easy, fun, and drastically increases your chances of survival in a zombie apocalypseAlas, possession of lock picks is the crime for my locale. Id love to get into it when i can get put of here tho
Feed crows, do crimes.
it’s usually only a crime if you have possession of them while committing another crime…
Ferret; they have little “hands” (I think)
For some reason i read ‘cows’ instead of ‘crows’
Not greentext. Think I found a new career!
This is the worst comic book villain origin story ever
I wish the crows around my parts would do that. The ones around here just generally act like a menace to society.
