Hi all. One of my biggest issues is emotional dysregulation.

I have noticed that a big thing is that I don’t have any activities that I can do for a prolonged period of time when frustrated. These “calming techniques” like breathing and the 5-4-3-2-1 thing only work for for a minute or so and then I’m back to flipping out. I need it to be both physical AND mental though. Only tackling physical leaves too much time for rumination…and only tackling mental doesn’t get out the high energy.

So I think I need something to bridge the gap here between the techniques to immediately and temporarily calm you and when I eventually feel better again.

Here are ideas I DON’T want:

  • Exercise - I find that exercise has never been mentally engaging enough to make me feel better. It actually will often do the opposite of what people say it does. It gives me more time to think and ruminate. Exercise for me will magnify my current emotions, which is beneficial if I am already happy, but absolutely terrible for me if I am already frustrated. Plus if I’m frustrated at like 3am, going outside to exercise is dangerous for me lol.

  • Writing down your feelings - Again, I feel like I’m missing something here. Doing that doesn’t make me feel better…it makes me ruminate and focus on the problem more, making me even more upset. And then I’m more inclined to send the thing I wrote to others which can damage relationships or be self destructive.

Positive ideas

  • Canvas painting - I absolutely have NO idea how to do anything artistic…but my thought is that you can angrily let your feelings out and splatter things onto a canvas…and then as you get more calm to morph it into something productive??? Dunno. But I have a screened in patio so I feel like I have the space to both be messy back there and to be able to do it in the middle of the night. I’m wondering if it would be too complicated with all the supplies needed or something though.

  • Video games - Actually seem to work to take my mind off of things, BUT there is no physical aspect to them. When I am physically calmer, they help me to not ruminate…but again I feel like I have a gap period between where I need more physical activity.

Thanks all I know it’s long lol.

  • dingus@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    6·
    1 day ago

    Lol this one actually sounds pretty smart.

    I appreciate a lot of the suggestions here, but many aren’t really getting to what I’m looking for. I want an activity I can do indoors at home…one that starts with sort of aggressive movements and then can morph into something more controlled, and something that is mentally engaging enough.

    So kneading and beating the shit out of dough sounds pretty smart lol.

    • Okokimup@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      20 hours ago

      Croissants are also a great option. You have to freeze butter in a large sheet and roll it into layers of dough. It’s hard work, especially if you keep everything frozen, which turns out better than merely refrigerated, and it takes several sessions. Plus when you’re done, you have homemade croissants which are fucking amazing.

      Note: on proofreading, I originally typed “shit.” Please do not roll your dough into a large shit.

    • nixon@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      3·
      24 hours ago

      This is what I do, started years ago. It helps not only for the reasons you mentioned but also you have to plan ahead, making sourdough and such requires days of planning beforehand to get your starter ready, then the various proofing times and such. So it also creates a routine.

      Baking requires math as it is a science, figuring out percentages, times, temps and how that all works together to get the results you want.

      Once you have the few materials you need it is also cost effective and a good way to make/keep friends. Bread, or other baked goods, are some of the oldest foods known to man and people love getting free fresh baked bread. I bake two loaves at a time, one for me and one for whomever I happen to run into that day. Pretty much people start asking you to bake something for their party or whatnot and you can either do it or don’t.

      There are limitless options with baking, every culture has their traditional baked goods or you can come up with your own. I spent three years on my chocolate chip cookie recipe, they are magnificent. It takes me three to four days just to make them and even though I don’t bake them often people still talk about them.

      Seriously, if you have an interest then I would recommend this route. Sounds like you would start by doing it all by hand, I did that too, it was years before I bought a stand mixer, but a word of advice, once the tennis elbow starts to show up after a year or 3 then supplement with a mixer so you don’t permanently injure yourself.

      *Edit to fix errors above and add below;

      If you have any questions shoot me a message, I can help you get a list of what you’d need for the price point you’d want it in, where to start and what to do etc. I do more sour doughs, cookies, muffins and pizza doughs kinda guy but I’ve done a bit of everything.

      It is a worthwhile hobby that is soothing, at times violent but also rewarding. Not only do you get amazing bread but so does everyone else in your life that you’d like to share that with. The appreciation from others gave me confidence to keep going. Not many people would turn down a fresh baked loaf of bread, it is one of the most basic things in food for all history in almost every culture but also incredible to be able to make something to the best of your ability. It’s like golf, you are really just playing against yourself in the end. The ingredients and tools are so basic so the limit to how far you want to take it is on you.

      Here are some of mine; Sourdoughs

      Chocolate Chip Cookies