Hi all. One of my biggest issues is emotional dysregulation.

I have noticed that a big thing is that I don’t have any activities that I can do for a prolonged period of time when frustrated. These “calming techniques” like breathing and the 5-4-3-2-1 thing only work for for a minute or so and then I’m back to flipping out. I need it to be both physical AND mental though. Only tackling physical leaves too much time for rumination…and only tackling mental doesn’t get out the high energy.

So I think I need something to bridge the gap here between the techniques to immediately and temporarily calm you and when I eventually feel better again.

Here are ideas I DON’T want:

  • Exercise - I find that exercise has never been mentally engaging enough to make me feel better. It actually will often do the opposite of what people say it does. It gives me more time to think and ruminate. Exercise for me will magnify my current emotions, which is beneficial if I am already happy, but absolutely terrible for me if I am already frustrated. Plus if I’m frustrated at like 3am, going outside to exercise is dangerous for me lol.

  • Writing down your feelings - Again, I feel like I’m missing something here. Doing that doesn’t make me feel better…it makes me ruminate and focus on the problem more, making me even more upset. And then I’m more inclined to send the thing I wrote to others which can damage relationships or be self destructive.

Positive ideas

  • Canvas painting - I absolutely have NO idea how to do anything artistic…but my thought is that you can angrily let your feelings out and splatter things onto a canvas…and then as you get more calm to morph it into something productive??? Dunno. But I have a screened in patio so I feel like I have the space to both be messy back there and to be able to do it in the middle of the night. I’m wondering if it would be too complicated with all the supplies needed or something though.

  • Video games - Actually seem to work to take my mind off of things, BUT there is no physical aspect to them. When I am physically calmer, they help me to not ruminate…but again I feel like I have a gap period between where I need more physical activity.

Thanks all I know it’s long lol.

  • gid@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    1·
    16 hours ago

    A few people have suggested drumming, which I’d also recommend.

    Have you ever been dancing? One of my biggest pressure relief mechanisms is going to a music venue and just… dancing to bands or a DJ. It brings me back into my body, it’s a great physical workout, and it also keeps me mentally engaged.

    I understand this isn’t something you can do immediately if you’re feeling frustrated, but I feel it can help with longer-term benefits towards emotional regulation.

    • dingus@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      1·
      8 hours ago

      I actually used to be super into dance classes when I was a kid.

      There was one time in early March where I was so upset that I called out of work the next day. I stumbled into 2 songs that I really resonated with that day and put them on repeat and just danced.

      Music has always been such a powerful thing to me. They can evoke such intense emotions of pain or joy or sorrow or elation. But the thing is I always have to stumble into a song that I “click” with. And the effect is temporary. It’s one of the reasons why I’m always casually yet organically looking for new songs. I’m always looking for my next “fix”.

      I will say that the dancing helped me with intense low energy sadness. When I get upset, I get really very intensely upset. But it takes on two forms…

      1. Low energy sadness where it somehow gets physically hard to move my body or even walk

      And

      1. High energy sadness where my body is physically agitated and I am inclined to be more impulsive and do a lot more things that are destructive to the self and my relationships

      #2 is what I am struggling the most with right now, as I’m losing friends and being threatened with termination at my job