Thank you. I broke up with her last night. I wanted it to be on good terms, but it devolved into us venting about our issues with the relationship. It really fucking sucks right now. I looked through all the valentines cards and sticky notes she left for me over the past few years, and I wept. The highs really were high.

I have a support system, but it’s gonna be a while before the pain goes away. It’s brutal, but I couldn’t keep living like this. I haven’t felt like I could be myself around her for a long time; I had to be her ideal partner instead.

You were right about how I was living. I was trying not to be harmed by our relationship instead of enjoying it. And I can’t say how long it’s been like that. It just crept up on me, you know?

It was like I realized how much I’d been carrying this whole time. Trying to keep her happy to avoid being berated or yelled at, or told you’re not good enough. In the moment you can dismiss these things as temporary events, but they’re not temporary when they become part of your daily reality. I really think she wanted perfect, while I could settle for good enough.

Yeah, I think you’re right. I just needed to hear it.

It really fuckin’ sucks, but I think I’m just gonna make it worse if I wait. I’m just a little scared to admit years of my life were wasted, yah know?

You’re right. I should be asking my friends. But, a part of me also wants to know what a stranger would say. My friends know and care about me, but I think it’s worthwhile to see what someone totally removed would say if they knew how I felt.

And I won’t lie, maybe a part of me is looking for permission. I don’t want to feel like I’m crazy or making a rash decision.

I really appreciate it, though. It’s tough, and I don’t think there’s a ‘good’ answer. No matter what I do, it’ll be an unhappy outcome on some level.

In theory, it’s until you have resolved your issues. It’s more like the therapist mediates and asks questions to helo you understand your relationship dynamics. We made quick progress, but it dissipated over the course of a year.

By then, the therapy was mostly trying to help us retread ground and we both struggled with that fact.

I just remembered this thread. We were right. RIP 😔

That cope from Conservative Christians™️ is always funny. Similar statements show up in the Talmud. A large animal passing through the eye of a needle was a common idiom in Jewish culture at the time to demonstrate impossibility.

You get downvoted for it, but it’s absolutely true. She had a real opportunity to distinguish herself from Biden, and for a brief moment I thought she would. Then she shifted to the right to draw in centrists.

Users here can stick their heads in the sand all they want, but like with the Clinton campaign, it won’t change the election outcome.

She’s handing Trump the race by imitating Biden. I say this as someone who will likely vote for her anyway: this is becoming a disaster for her. She cannot afford to lose Muslim voters in Michigan, and the continued bleeding of Hispanic voters spells even longer-term problems for the party.

On this site? Users of Lemmy in denial of her alienation of voters. She started strong and then pissed all of that good will away by announcing she’s just going to be a continuation of the Biden Israel policy.

And before anyone says “oh, the Biden administration is pushing for a ceasefire”. Nobody takes that seriously. You can’t push for a ceasefire and rhetorically and materially enable the annihilation of Gaza and the invasion of Lebanon. Any ceasefire proposals are performative.

Yep. I have access to everything else, just can’t view Youtube while signed in.

I disabled my adblock for YT, but I still use privacy badger and occasionally a VPN.

Good to know. Even if it does get unsuspended, I’m taking it as a wake up call. If that was my gmail account I would’ve been in a bad situation. I use it for almost everything.

Better late than never lol. They really are a shitty company. Bots run the show over there. I just never thought it would be this bad until it was…

Shapiro has a sexual harassment coverup allegation (for a close aide, not himself) and what appears to be serious mismanagement of a stabbing case, where a woman’s death was initially ruled a murder, but ultimately his office refused to re-examine the case. It’s going before the Pennsylvania Supreme Court, and might be heard before the election. Harris doesn’t need an October Surprise to derail her momentum if it makes Shapiro look bad.

I have to imagine the game was a disaster for them to abandon it like they did. Given what Cities Skylines 2 was like at release, their standards must be in the basement.

I did the same thing. The first privacy-oriented service I heard about was Proton. And, to be fair, they’re quite good. But the email search issues and struggles I had with their bridge eventually turned me off.

I left for mailbox(.)org and haven’t looked back. It’s great Proton has so many cool services, but the last thing I want is to get dependent on one company again, not after how hard it was to get away from Google.

I kinda don’t want to dip my toes in this, but here goes:

I agree that it’s occasionally a breath of fresh air. The issue I’ve always had with Hexbear is they’ve more or less replaced one version of American (and to a lesser extent European) exceptionalism with another. Where American nationalists consider America to be exceptionally great, Hexbear considers it to be exceptionally evil. They routinely attribute domestic incidents in different countries to American meddling–regardless of evidence–even when those events either achieve nothing for American geostrategic goals or actively harm them. America as the “great Satan,” etc.

Just an example because I remember it: Imran Khan lost an internal power struggle in Pakistan. He was probably the most west-friendly candidate left there, but Hexbear blamed a CIA coup https://hexbear.net/post/186331

In the same vein, they permit or even encourage Chinese aggression against the Philippines, within the Philippines’ own exclusive economic zone. You can’t substitute one form of imperialism for another. It’s a trap I see a lot of leftists fall into.

I think most of 'em are alright. Just growing into leftist thought still and grappling with the moshpit that is international politics. Also they’re funny lol

Thank you so much for this information. Your passion is contagious. I’m going to dive into all of these sources in the morning!

Have a wonderful day/evening/night!

So, as someone who has used the Internet since its very earliest days, what would you say about what the Internet is like today versus back then? Was it better? Worse? Any major online events that you can recall from that period?

I grew up at the very tail end of the old forums and certainly after the decline and death of old school chat rooms. Most of them died or went inactive while I was in high school/college. The version of the internet older adults used is almost alien to me.

Hell, today’s Internet is on its way to being alien too.

Thanks. I realize this is something only a professional can help with now. It’s up to her if she follows through. As far as support goes, I am going to encourage her to reach out to other trusted friends and family members, and to cut out people who have been causing her so much grief.

Yeah, in hindsight I think she might have been speaking in the sense that for my sake I shouldn’t propose right now.

Her reaction, and this is maybe me coping really hard right now, might be related to what happened last night. She attempted suicide last night and had the mindset to call my name before she did. Despite my pleas, she went to work this morning since she has no time off and doesn’t want to get fired.

We talked about what happened, and she admitted that she’s felt like attempting for the past couple months, which kind of follows what I was feeling yesterday. The past 3-4 months have been more difficult than usual.

I don’t know what my next steps are. I’m feeling from it and using this forum to vent in a safe way. There’s not much advice to give, I think. I’m just going to take this one step at a time.