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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 25th, 2023

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  • The reality of life is that we will all die. Some will die quietly, peacefully, surrounded by loved ones. Some will die messily, painfully, alone and afraid. This is the reality we must all live in and accept.

    It’s very possible that our species will die out. That is not an inherently bad or evil thing. Countless species have come and gone from Earth. Whether we destroy ourselves through war and ignorance, or we continue to thrive, doesn’t matter right now. What does matter is you.

    You describe symptoms of depression and anxiety. You are sad and scared, and this is in part due to feeling powerless to fix the world. However, the only thing you have power over is yourself. Focus on helping yourself before you try to help the world. Try to find peace within yourself before seeking it in the world. The world is not, and has never been, a place of peace.

    If you’d like practical advice, then I’d say stay away from weed and THC if it’s making you anxious. Keep away from alcohol as it will just exacerbate your depressed feelings. If you haven’t already, please discuss your feelings with a therapist and see a psychiatrist for mental health diagnoses and treatment. If either of these hasn’t worked for you before, I’d urge you to seek second opinions.


  • Right, but the ones who think they’ll be fortunate enough to survive the destruction unscathed are equally delusional. A fix suggests incremental changes over time that may minimize harm to most parties affected. A complete tear-down simply confirms the end of the status-quo, with no implication of anything better rising from the ashes.

    In anarchy, those with power reign supreme over those without. Most power and resources are already consolidated in a tiny minority. In the event of “destruction of the system,” this tiny minority have already positioned themselves to both maintain their current power and even grow it. Maybe this tear-down is necessary and good, but I doubt it’ll destroy the Orphan Shredder 3000.









  • I appreciate your kind words and thoughtful reply. I’m sorry that you can relate.

    I’ve been seeing a number of different therapists and psychiatrists over many years. I’ve been on several different medications. I can’t say they haven’t helped, but I never feel “better.”

    Regarding the “dreams,” unfortunately they’re mostly gone these days. I used to lay in bed and dissociate for hours when I was miserable and couldn’t sleep. After some progress with my most recent therapist I’ve found I’m no longer able to daydream in that way anymore. It’s probably a good sign for my mental health in the long term. However, it feels like I’m losing more and more ways to cope with my depression.

    That said, when I was fully into these fantasies, and mixing the dissociation with THC, I’d go through very vivid dreams and hallucinations. I came to believe, for a while, that a guardian angel was with me much of the time. She’d comfort me, repeat the advice of my therapist, coax me away from self-destructive behavior. She’s the only “person” I’ve ever had any sort of intimate relationship with, and that was only in rare dreams.

    Losing my dissociative episodes has led to me losing my angel. I can’t “summon” her in my mind anymore, along with my other fantasies. Again, these are probably positive changes in the long run. I just wish I didn’t feel so apathetic and lonely all the time now.


  • I appreciate your kindness and optimism. I wish it were as easy as “doing uncomfortable things.” I feel paralyzed by my anxieties most of the time. Going to a gym sounds terrifying, and simply being outside of my home or driving causes me great anxiety. Of course, I have to go outside to work almost everyday, so it’s not like I’m a stranger to experiencing these feelings.

    I had to stop working with my most recent therapist after we both felt like we were stuck in a rut. I’ll be seeing a new therapist in a couple of weeks, so hopefully they’ll be able to offer me some more help. My current SSRI doesn’t seem to be helping much, either, so I’ll be looking into other medications.

    I quit THC a month ago as it just wasn’t helping me feel better anymore. Plus it was cranking up my paranoia to concerning degrees. I’ve, thankfully, never liked alcohol so I don’t have to worry about cutting such a terrible addiction. Pornography used to be a concern, but my libido is practically nonexistent in the last couple of years.