I have no love for Taylor Swift. I understand she has a cult following and has recently become star of the NFL. Her name is Swift, she must be fast. I will admit to getting caught up in a personal car singalong of ‘Shake it Off’ on a bad day. Haters are gonna hate, just like haters hate her private plane travels.

But! If I had a ton of rabid fans and right wing haters, and the ability to pay extra to travel SAFELY, I would probably pay extra to travel safely.

Here me out: Whereever she goes requires a SHITTON of public funds to police and security. Rabid fans watch where she goes and follow her everywhere. I understand her new boyfriend had to actually move to a new home because her fans camped out around his house and tapped on his windows in hopes to just SEE her. And this doesn’t even include right wing nuts who think she is a witch for believing vaccines work.

I am not saying she is a saint, but holy hell, I do not blame her for sticking to airports to ensure her own safety and to avoid being a drain on public funds that require extra police presence against a rabid media following her escorts thru cities.

Add some mustard and hard boiled egg… I’d shank a bitch and lick my fingers after. Tangy AND delicious.

Good one! Will tell this to my kid over breakfast and look forward to him repeating 38 times by dinner :)

Shout out to Super Mario Wonder! Playing 2-player games with my 7 year old son is hell. Thank you Nintendo for allowing him to play as Yoshi while my character rides around on Yoshi’s back. He can now run around like a drunken lunatic without my character having to be annoyingly rerouted via Glenda Bubble. Makes playing together a much more pleasant experience.

Shout ‘Swiper, No Swiping!’ three times in a row so he snaps his fingers and says ‘Aww, man!’.

It’s just a platypus…

Platypus put on fedora

PERRY the Platypus!!

Glory to Master Kogha!!

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The Final Countdown! Ba da da dah! Ba da da da dah! Ba da da dah! Ba da da da dah da dahhhh! It’s not a trick Micheal, it’s an illusion. Tricks are what whores do for money.

Gotta put Wesley’s face on the car dealer, though.

My fear is that ‘my friend, the author’ won’t be describing me in friendly terms, but in a horribly honest way, detailing bad habits I was previously oblivious to.