thirstyskyline [she/her, ae/aer]
trans marxist leninist that is very mentally fucked at the moment XD
- 2 Posts
- 35 Comments
mental health
I like how I look sometimes at the same time I feel like I could be more. I really wish I wasnt myself. Though idk if thats dysphoria or just really really bad self hate I have for myself for other reasons growing up. Always low energy and mind scattered and feel like I’m missing out on life. It feels unfair. Yet I don’t want to say I’m deppressed cause a part of me refuses to believe lmao
spoiler
yeah but i feel so stuck on a personal level, feels like I’m not going anywhere, wish I could just swap my whole identity but mmm…; at the same time I have a lot of impostor syndrome and I would like my ‘self’ to be original which bothers me a lot day to day cause I feel like an empty shell with no interests other than observing and learning from others
being your own person is fine and good actually
yeah I have a problem with this rn (identity crisis 24/7) XD I’m trying but it feels like I’m staring from 10th floor through a glass pane observing others and learning their behaviors through a miopic lens
very mood, I have a problem relating to others in general and results in me depersonalizing so hard i feel like not a human… sucks
Yeah fair enough, I just saw it was overhyped, watched it and I was like “well, fuck” it wasn’t according to my expectations that I heard from other trans people. I dunno feels like I have way less in common with other trans people regarding likes and common experiences and it sucks sometimes as I cant relate
I have watched I saw the TV glow and it just didnt resonate with me and I feel shitty lmao
9·1 month agoI had this guy that works at this big multinational bank and has his own team complain to me that “my team when WFH just slacks around all day, terf island is collapsing because people like them wont work hard enough” lol speaking of privileged assholes
b-but have you considered the prooductivity
vent
am I really like this checked out dissociated husk so much I cant even help someone close to me? What the fuck is wrong with me, genuienly. My god. Fuck.
vent
my partner just had a breakdown in public about getting her period and being dysphoric+embarassed about it as she had nothing to cover herself with, i offered to call with her as i wasnt with her, she agreed and i was trying to be empathic and get her out of that but idk god it fucking felt like i had fuck all empathy tbh i was trying and i do have empathy it just i dont know i feel broken i was worried out of my mind and i kinda didnt know how to react and my partner told me to shut the fuck up cause it doesnt help and it feels like i dont give a shit and i was like fuck; idk through a phone it’s so hard to convey emotion and meaning to words, instead of that I sounded like I was dismissing her, I majorly fucked up I wish I knew how to handle people better instead of proceeding like I did right now
really feeling useless and asking what the fuck is wrong with me for proceeding like this, I should have had things to say and calm someone down than ‘yea’ and ‘im sorry’ and platitudes but I felt useless being so far away, fuck and I kinda locked up cause usually when I comfort anyone it’s irl not over a call ahhh fuck
What is the occasion?
What type of razor do you use to shave? I used to cut myself a lot in the beginning, now with a good double edged razor and good blades I can do full body shave + face with no cuts in an hour or so
wish there werent events every 2 weeks with the possibility of ruining my life that make me anxious and i can never relax ugh
spoiler
Didnt expect any battle to be this challenging, I was just winging it through the story lolo
I love FBC omg its like my soul game ahh!!
You should check out FBC’s creator twitter and neocities page. So much lera and nika stuff and her other art is also amazing
I was into chess a good bit ago but I got frustrated at not progressing and mostly play atomic for fun
aaah i need hobbies now that i have some free time instead of just doomscrolling
spoiler
I am at the Titan fight and I find it hard even with an inventory of heals
I suggest you use Anki to learn Russian Cyrillic first. I learned to read Cyrillic in about a week, although to read it fast will take a few months or so. Once you have that in you can get going with immersion and stuff. Anki is good for grinding vocabulary but you need immersion to actually practice