unknownuserunknownlocation

  • 1 Post
  • 8 Comments
Joined 13 days ago
cake
Cake day: August 1st, 2025

help-circle





  • That’s the next frustrating part - as soon as you mention something like that, many people assume that you’re nice just hoping that it gets you laid or something. Of course, if you’re doing something nice to someone just to get laid - of course that’s manipulative. And that’s the thing - manipulative assholes tend to be more successful in that regard! I insist on being nice despite it making things more difficult when it comes to dating. I don’t use it to guilt trap people into doing anything with me they don’t want to. The one time I was able to help someone out of an abusive situation (which, to be clear, I didn’t do to somehow get together with her - I never had any interest in a relationship with her), that was actually one of the main things we worked on - ensuring that she listens more to herself and what she wants, and that she has every right to say no, no matter who it is. But it’s frustrating to see when people do start using guilt tripping and end up getting way further than I do. My moral compass is more important. It doesn’t change the fact that that being a disadvantage can be pretty frustrating. Think about it like this: imagine you have a job at a normal company - let’s say in public works - and make an OK living. It’s not great, you really have to budget, but you can afford rent and groceries. But then you see your neighbor making multiple times what you make - by manipulating and scamming people. You will never do the “work” he does, because it’s morally reprehensible. That doesn’t change the fact that when you look at the situation, you probably go: “that’s not exactly fair”.



  • That’s what I was trying to get at with saying I’m not referring to manipulative jerks - the kind you find on r/niceguys. Because they aren’t nice. Yeah, that’s not how life works. And that’s fucked up, which is my point, and goes to show that yes, nice guys often do finish last, even though that statement has been given a bad reputation by places like r/niceguys. Being nice, carrying and loving is an inherently good quality, that we want to see in people. So when it gives you a disadvantage while dating, giving the advantage to the abusive asshole, then you start wondering what the hell is wrong with the world (among many other things). I try to be my best self - regardless of the whole dating thing - because I find it important to be someone with a strong moral compass, who cares for people. We already have enough selfish assholes on this planet and I refuse to be one, even if that does negatively affect other parts of my life. But man, does it get frustrating. And how does that mean “I’m doing it wrong”? I’ve lived abuse. I know how horrific it is. Why would it not be being my best self to help other abuse victims get out of their abusive situations and help them improve their lives when I can?