So I saw that CoD Black Ops 6 was free until tomorrow and decided to give it a go. It’s been at least a decade since I’ve last played a CoD game, and I have fond memories of a time when I could play one of these games without rolling my eyes at the non-political politics of badass operator slop. I also remember that incredible Soviet campaign from CoD World at War and that was enough to give this game the benefit of the doubt.
My overall impression is: What in the name of everloving fuck is this thing?
First off, it was a 150GB download. What is this, a massive open-world game? This is not Starfield, there’s nothing here that could possibly justify this size. But eh, whatever, just went ahead and downloaded it overnight, installed it and then booted it for the first time last night.
What greeted me was several layers of separation from the actual game. It asked me to create an Activision account, which then rebooted the game, then it showed me a whole screen full of DLC and loot that I could presumably buy with whatever the fuck currency they’re using.
It was, simply put, a shopping mall stocked with colorful guns and variations of camo outfits and hats and whatnot. It was utterly undecipherable to me. How do I get out of this screen? I struggled to actually find out how to continue on to the game because the screen was just covered in an endless amount of garbage and season pass ads and whatever else. It gave me flashbacks to the time when I tried to play Gears of War 5 and was greeted by pretty much the same abomination of a screen. Is this what triple-A is supposed to look like now?
Anyways, I navigated my way just barely in order to find a button, any button, that would take me to the fucking game. There was one that would take me to the multiplayer lobbies, another one for the zombies mode, another one that would take me to a store, and presumably half a dozen other ones where I would go to a hundred different things that were not the goddamn single player campaign.
Finally, I made it, found the button, with my thumb already reaching for the alt key and my middle finger wanting to stretch towards F4, and I booted the goddamn campaign. It closed what I thought was the game window, and restarted into what seems to be another executable. Was I not even in the game yet?
Anyways, all this to play just two missions and feel bored mindless after like half an hour. It’s still pretty much the same gameplay from a decade and a half ago, but a little bit more advanced and better looking. Generic badass operator slop, very well produced and the generous budget clearly shows, but it’s so goddamn boring.
It boggles the mind how this shit can keep going on after so long, the same game being re-released every year. Who even needs AI slop when we can have humans putting out this shit that’s essentially just a premium form of generic content?
As a palate cleanser before going to sleep, I booted Tactical Breach Wizards. You know what happened? I double clicked the desktop icon, and within twenty seconds I was playing the fucking game. No ads, no nonsense, no trying to upsell me after I paid for the base game. Just a damn good game that I can sit down and play.
Hanako at Embers:
But yeah, Cyberpunk is an incredible comeback story. It was dogshit at release, but now it’s probably my favorite FPS RPG of all time. It’s the only game I remember where being overpowered at endgame is a relentlessly enjoyable experience, an incredible power fantasy rather than a boring shooting gallery. Phantom Liberty is also one of the most cinematic experiences I’ve ever had playing a game, except for maybe RDR2. So many moments in the main quest had me glued to the edge of my seat. The thirty or so minutes after the mad sprint towards the crash site are simply bonkers, absolute cinema.
did they get rid of the le epic keanu misogyny john wick power fantasy interlude or nah? because i quit playing after that
I love Phantom Liberty, but I think I’ll choose differently at the end next time. I hear that ends it right then and there. So I did the longer ending and you go through this long section that’s meant to be horror, but horror doesn’t affect me, so it was just frustrating. I’m talking about the part where you’re sneaking around the old lab and the killer robot randomly drops on top of you. It was lousy game design that tried to be something more. I mean, I loved the story part of it. The execution was horribly flawed though. Like this thing is going to randomly appear and you can’t kill it. Plus they nerfed stealth so you can’t hide from it. It’s just randomly game over. That said, I did thoroughly enjoy the DLC.
Cyberpunk is still deeply flawed, it’s just more playable now. So as before, they nerfed stealth, but at least they let you refund perks. I don’t use optical camo, but I remember that being pretty useless before 2.0 (pretty much worked only when you stood still?) so I don’t use it now. But still, I remember being able to do most of these gigs with stealth. Now the stealth bonus goes out as soon as I set foot inside. I don’t think that’s how the game is supposed to play, it feels bugged. Then again, I’m on Xbox (Series X) and I’ve only played Phantom Liberty/2.0 on Xbox. Never played CP77 before 2.0 on Xbox. I’ve played the pre-2.0 CP77 on PC. So that might contribute to it.
Anyway, all the criticism aside, it’s still my favorite game right now. You hang out with Johnny Silverhand. I also like Judy and Solomon, but “hang out with Keanu Reeves” is a selling point. As an anime fan, I like that V is voiced by Asuna from Sword Art Online (Cherami Leigh). It still amuses me hearing her swear. She (the VA) had a pretty innocent persona online before, not sure about now. Kind of like if you went from Taylor Swift singing country from 2007 or whenever and going straight to a couple of the dirty songs off her new record. It’s amusing.