• 33550336@lemmy.world
    111·
    6 hours ago

    The guy just discovered female led relationship. If he likes it, it is like a heaven.

  • Fizz@lemmy.nzEnglish
    32·
    15 hours ago

    Having a partner in life makes a huge difference to motivation. I dont really agree with this idea of them leveraging things to force you to act that sounds like a living hell. These things should come naturally as you desire being the best version of yourself for your partner.

    • BeeegScaaawyCripple@lemmy.world
      71·
      9 hours ago

      These things should come naturally as you desire being the best version of yourself for your partner

      how i knew i could marry my wife, i wanted to do this.

  • BlueFootedPetey@sh.itjust.works
    181·
    19 hours ago

    Hey, if two (or more) people are making each other happy and doing well, right on. Yea that "traditional " style of relationship isnt for me. Especially the idea of withholding conversation or sex as punishment. Well, if it was kink minded then maybe, but I digress.

    Anywhoots, being in a happy stable relationship certainly helped me get some of my act together. Hopefully i wont fully come apart the seams right now.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
    231·
    20 hours ago

    Yeah, no. That is not what I signed up for.

    We do lift each other up, it’s not a one way thing. Can advise, and do, and he does with me too. So sure, I am willing to make suggestions and he always wants me to do stuff like style his wardrobe, do all the interior design, etc., yeah I’m down, my eye is better. He plans all the trips, his mom was a travel agent.

    But would not dream of using sex as a lever, because I want sex for sex.

    And I sure as fuck don’t want another kid, I want a partner.

  • etherphon@midwest.socialEnglish
    202·
    20 hours ago

    “I only care about myself when someone else cares about me” is not particularly healthy.

    • Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club
      1·
      3 hours ago

      It can be unimaginably, uncomprehendingly better than just the ‘I don’t care about myself’ state tho, if that is the best they can manage or perhaps even as a step on the gradual path of self-worth/healing - that is amazing!

      Don’t dismiss ‘getting slightly better’ as a failure bcs it’s not immediately resulting in the prefect best-case end scenario/state.

      We are all on a journey.

      • insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world
        1·
        4 hours ago

        More in the right direction than the wrong but still not the right direction entirely. It needs to come from within to be strong and lasting.

        Plus that isn’t what’s happening here, he’s being a child who is also being emotionally and sexually manipulated.

      • etherphon@midwest.socialEnglish
        3·
        7 hours ago

        Well that does sound better, as long as it’s not completely dependent on another persons approval, that’s kinda asking for trouble.

  • roscoe@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    43·
    24 hours ago

    Meanwhile, my wife enables my executive dysfunction, saying things like “oh, just do it tomorrow.” I have to explain to her, if I don’t do it now, it won’t get done for a month. Saying it out loud like that seems to give me the motivation to do it now.

    • Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club
      2·
      3 hours ago

      Hope this works for you for a long time.
      Tho it’s good that your wife understands the mechanics behind it.

      (Or maybe she already does and you maybe sometimes need the ‘tomorrow’ & she is looking out for you/managing your dysfunction better than you might think?)

  • Tonava@sopuli.xyz
    452·
    1 day ago

    There’s certain common patterns this dynamic seems to take:

    • They end up in that type of traditional marriage for fifty years where the wife controls absolutely everything and the man throws around jokes about ball and chain. This ends when either one dies; if the man dies first, the wife will live happily for another ten years, but if the wife dies first, the man follows soon
    • The man loses all sights of himself and becomes a passive and meek “yes, dear” -man, and then the girlfriend (or wife if they managed to get married) eventually gets bored since the project car isn’t fun anymore, and cheats or just straight up leaves him. This pattern might also involve straight up domestic violence where the man is too embarrassed and scared to seek help
    • The girlfriend (or wife again) gets tired of taking care of a manchild instead of having an equal partner, and leaves. This happens especially if they have children and the wife realizes it’s actually easier to take care of the children alone. Often the man also ends up whining about how he doesn’t understand what he did wrong, and thought everything was going so well