Montrose, down in Houston, is wall to wall Gay Boomers. Not a coincidence that Houston has been one of the friendliest cities for gay men to live straight back to the 1970s
for gay men to live straight
I would’ve thought that title would go to Salt Lake City or DC.
Not rare with boomer LGBTQ+ people here in Sweden, I know several and had many around as neighbours etc. throughout my whole life. One of the people who checks your ID and stuff when you vote in my area is trans (mtf) and has been doing that for 30+ years and it’s nothing odd for the vast majority who meet her, I think she’s in her 80s now. Was always curious and liked her when I was a kid and went there with my parents. Still like her of course, and it’s always so nice to see her still doing that.
deleted by creator
“Confirmed Bachelor”
“Longtime Roommates”
Frrriiieeenndss
Growing up, I heard so many from my parents generation saying things about having to work against your impulses. I heard so many express worry about denying attractions and fears of the same sex being attracted to them, worried about finding themselves in a situation after too much to drink…
To the point where I briefly wondered what was wrong with me, that I never felt these temptations. I even tried making out with a guy once just to see the reaction. It wasn’t for me, I just don’t have that attraction in me.
I realized VERY young that the gay/straight thing was a whole lot easier AND a whole lot more complicated than it had been sold.
I am not attracted to men at all.
Thank you for sharing
I don’t like pineapple on pizza
Personal preference is all, dude, some people just dont get.
It was moderate.
But I did eat it.
You got that stake ready yet?
Ok
Closeted religious people are like that.
I still think about the time a pastor talked about having to repress thoughts, like making love to another man.
And I just sat there going, “Uh I don’t think about that. Do you have that thought a lot, pastor?”
I always cringe when conservatives around my age say there were no trans kids back when they were in school, because I was just abused out of my school when I was outed as a trans man and had to be homeschooled instead. (I’m not talking about just bullying, the abuse culminated with three classmates raping me on school property before classes one morning.)
The other trans kid I knew of in my class was literally expelled once she came out. (Something the school blamed on me, since they claimed they had to kick her out after how classmates had reacted to me.)
So, I guess there are no trans kids in school with you if you attack them until they leave, or just throw them out.
Well… And a lot of them just moved to locations that were safer for them so they are more concentrated in certain areas. People saying they’re no boomer lqbtq people haven’t been to San Francisco or key west apparently.
My parents: “People in our days were men or women, no in between.”
Also my parents: “Yeah, Joe Bloggs, the guy who’s worn womens clothes and accessories for 40 years.”
Pick a lane, do they not exist or have existed for decades?!
Yeah, one of my best friends is a boomer lesbian. Because of her, I know and know of a community of lgbt+ boomers here. Plus she has other friends she regularly talks with in other parts of the country.
She was one of the many that ran away from backwoods bible belt to San Francisco in time to be there for the Summer of Love.
I know it’s Key West and everything, but I just can’t imagine why an lgbtq+ person would ever choose to move to Florida.
Florida being a super conservative state is relatively new. I mean Obama won Florida in 08 and in 2012. It wasn’t until 2020 when Republicans really secured the state as fascist hell hole. Key West has been a “port in the storm” for gay people since the 1950’s.
Desantis was elected governor in 2018 I think.
I know Key West is known for that, but when your state government is actively, violently, hostile towards your existence, it doesn’t really matter if your local community is an oasis of tolerance.
Key West can’t protect you from the state government.
I mean, that’s kinda the same as saying a liberal state government can’t protect you from the federal government. Either way, vulnerable communities setting up self protection/mutual aid network is going to offer more protection than any state actor would.
It’s not usually the state that you have to really worry about. It’s usually the paramilitary group that do most of the violence, and you can definitely take steps to arm a community against those.
To a degree, legal weed still exists so the state isn’t totally powerless
Yeah it’s usually not, but these are not usual times are they? The state has a lot of power.
It always gives me a bit of pause to remember that the Pulse gay nightclub shooting during it’s Latino culture celebration was in Orlando, Florida.
A lot of it is denial as well. In the mental health realm, for example, I meet a lot of Boomers who show obvious signs of ADHD and/or Autism and they haven’t the slightest idea they have it.
If you ask one of them to get tested, they’ll just stubbornly refuse and insist there’s nothing different about them, even when you point out their symptoms to them. “A lot of people do this; doesn’t mean anything!” Yeah well a lot of people are neurodivergent. Something like 30% of the population has ADHD, for example.
Just because a lot of people have a mental health disorder, that doesn’t give you an excuse to just ignore it! You still need treatment and therapy.
Something like 30% of the population has ADHD, for example.
No, they don’t.
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterised by…
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41572-024-00495-0
Neurodevelopmental disorders (NDDs) affect around 15% of children and adolescents globally
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8985496/
So all NDD’s — including ADHD — affect around ~15% of the population, but you’re claiming ADHD alone affects ~30% of the population?
^ps ^I’ve ^an ^excellent ^therapist
lol neither of the studies you quoted are researching the rates of ADHD, like at all. The one study is a narrative review and the other I couldn’t get into but on mobile.
This was literally just setting the stage for their hypothesis…
You would need to find a meta-analysis or systemic review of current research. The article you are quoting is just framing the paper around 15%.
In this narrative review we search the extant literature and discussed a brief overview of the aetiology and prevalence of NDEBID, enumerate common problems associated with current classification systems and provide recommendations for a more integrated approach to the nosology and clinical care of these related conditions.
Also, quoting a single study and framing your world view based on one study is absolutely not science, but have at it…
Whereas blatantly asserting that “at least 30% of the population have a specific neurodevelopmental disorder” doesn’t merit any sourcing or facts. Just pull ideas out of your head and slap them down, that’s how it works right?
A meta-analysis would be called for, you say? Did you even open the link, let alone the PDF
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-023-01530-y.pdf
And they don’t need to research ADHD. Let’s say you clean the local MickeyD every night, every stall and shit until it’s spick and span. If someone stopped you right before you stepped out and locked the doors and told you “animal control, there’s an elephant in here”, you’d probably be pretty certain there was no elephant as despite not having thought about elephants or tried actively looking for any, you’d be sure it’s not in the see through little McD where it wouldn’t even fit.
Thus when you hear “there’s an elephant on the loose” in that context you laugh.
I’m not defining a narrative. I’m calling bullshit on his figures.
People do tend to get mad over the next part; I believe that a lot of people who more or less require or at least work well on those meds to, well, require them, but not necessarily because of some mythical poorly reasoned latebloooming ad hoc NDD, but our world just has gotten a whole faster.
Stimulants, if used responsibly — instead of taking them on the weekends and drinking two days straight — can be compared to a strong energy drinks. And in many cases a bump of speed would actually be healthier than a huge can of coke or a mocha latte.
Anyway, the point people get mad about is that they think I’m gonna question their diagnosis or advocate they shouldn’t get their meds, nah, that’s not what I’m about.
I’m just hoping this won’t follow the same pattern as Oxy. Completely different beasts when it comes to dangers, both physical and forming dependency.
Still, it’s pretty clear if you want to browse good sources. Just look at how often NDDs were diagnosed, how fast the recognition grew as our information grew and so did the prevalence of all neurodevelopmental disorders.
But then out of the group ADHD is an outlier and nothing explains why it’s diagnosis have grown so much — except legalised speed basically.
Also, quoting a single study and framing your world view based on one study is absolutely not science, but have at it…
I believe you shouldn’t hit kids hard (even rhetorically) or they’ll just get cranky and abandon the whole business.
So these actual studies aren’t studies, but the invisible yet to be named ones which show 30% having ADHD, now that is science. Yeah?
Ok Boomer
Oh, does science annoy you?
It’s that very pedantic, dismissive attitude of yours that I was literally just complaining about before you walked through the door. I love science and dislike people who use it to win an argument.
(Also fuck Will Ferrell. Dude isn’t funny. Stranger Than Fiction is his only good role cause it’s the only one where he doesn’t act like a fucking man child.)
It’s that very dismissive attitude of yours
\
“Ok, boomer”
Stop replying so god damn fast with your shitty, unfunny gifs. You respond before I can even finish editing my comments.
Are you just sitting in front of your phone, waiting for the mail icon to pop up in your Lemmy app? Go away and find a hobby. I was just making conversation; I don’t care enough to argue with you.
Ok boomer
just sitting in front of your phone
Yes, am “sitting in fron of my phone.”
On a scale of 1-10, how annoyed are you that you can’t address the science I linked?
^I ^edited ^this ^comment ^and ^it ^took ^me ^less ^than ^a ^minute
You still need treatment and therapy.
ADHD is not a mental health disorder and doesn’t require treatment. Treatment can be good for people who are having a difficult time with it, but it’s entirely optional.
ADHD is legally considered a disability in my country. It very much is a mental health disorder. I mean it literally hinders you from living your life to the fullest.
ADHD is a psychosocial syndrome, meaning that it may be problematic depending on the social context. If the situation is such that it causes problems to the person, then it should be considered a disorder.
Definition of a disorder includes the fact that it’s a problem to the person experiencing it.
My brother is from that era. I used to hangout with him and his friends when I was a kid and they were easily some of the nicest, smartest, most accepting people I knew. They’re a big reason for my radicalization into adulthood.
That whole friend circle has been decimated by AIDS. It’s really sad. He has a couple friends that made it through, but things will never be the same for him or the remaining friends.
Edit: thinking about this more, it makes me thankful to still have my brother around. On the non-selfish side, I’m sad he has to endure such loss and grief.
and on that note, everyone call your mom
This boomer can confirm: The closet is walk-in with an ensuite, bar fridge, and a huge quantity of copium.
And the scars from the ones we lost to AIDS are old enough to forget about for a few days at a time.
Don’t forget how many simply refused to entertain reality in the first place. Every so often we still see someone telling on themselves, like “If he didn’t actually have sex with men, he’s not gay. If gay was just attraction we would all be gay.” They got pushed so far into the closet that they thought that was just how the world is.
I still think everyone’s actually bi and that cishet is actually a very small minority
“Being gay and trans is just a fad” says the generation that wiped out most of the queer population by ignoring a disease that literally killed most of their queer friends and family. And then made their living queer friends taboo because they like another person of the same sex
Most? I am highly skeptical of this claim. Iirc, lgbt people make up about 10% of the population. Depending on your interpretation, it could be far more, but let’s say 10%. “Most” of 10% would be 5%. Are you really claiming that AIDS killed a whole 5% of the population in the 80s? That would be… a lot
GP says queer friends and family. So assuming queer people have non-queer family members, that would be much more than 10%. Maybe 40% or more?
As an older gay guy, as you grow older, being gay stops being important. You just like guys, and the other guy like girls. That’s it.
And it’s actually kind of annoying how some people make that their entire personality. But when I left my mom’s house I even hanged porn pictures on my room, to tell everyone what I am and that I wouldn’t hide anymore. So I was the same.
But over time I realised that I should never have to hide, I didn’t have to keep showing either. I didn’t really want. I just did it because I was angry I had to hide.
My point is; we are here. Just not that visible.
Plus we didn’t have internet back then. Thank god. I wouldn’t want to see again the things I would have written.
Edit, I must also say that it’s because a lot of people fought for our rights. I couldn’t just be a guy who likes guys back then. It’s a luxury I love. I can say stuff like “my partner, he does this or that” and it never becomes “what, are you gay?” anymore. It’s just like a straight guy talking about his female partner most of the times, and that’s awesome. I can choose to make it my personality or not these days without having to hide.
Me, imagining your mom walking into your childhood bedroom after you move out and finding the walls covered in gay porn
Omar Little in The Wire was the first time I saw an amazing character who happened to be gay. It was so damn revolutionary to see, finally. It always annoyed me so much that gay was a personality type like goth or nerd or jock, in US media.
I’m glad you posted your perspective though, as I had never really considered it this way.
It always annoyed me so much that gay was a personality type like goth or nerd or jock, in US media.
Yeah. Same. The dream was to just be normal. That liking guys is the same as liking girls. You can be a femboy gay, or a macho yanktank straight, or the other way around. But it’s not anymore simply who you like that catches people attention.
You can simply be gay, and that is just one detail of your life. Not a whole fight anymore.
I’ve had quite a few gay friends over the years, partied, hung out and did everything you do with friends. I never understood the aversion to people based on who they prefer as a partner. It just seems so juvenile.
Part of me wonders how people that grew up during the 80s and 90s came to think that, it seemed like things were on the right track for acceptance till within say the last 10-15 years (though I may have missed a lot of indicators being straight). Now everything is so polarized and it really makes me sad not just for lost rights of my old friends but cause it’s like society is regressing in its ideals. Hate and bigotry never help things grow except for conflict and we need less of that.
I think it’s just internet impression.
Being gay is soooo much easier today. I would say we reached the utopia, because I don’t hide and yet my life doesn’t seem different than straight people.
The screaming ones one both sides, the “everyone must know I’m gay” and the “no one should be allowed to show they are gay” are the minority, but they sure are loud. And internet is their megaphone.
But that depends on the country of course. I’m sure gays in Saudi Arabia are not happy.
Dont forget the ones who internalized homophobia and became gay-persecuting Republicans with Grindr accounts.
Yes, just look at RNC conventions isn’t that like 50% boomers?
they crashed Grindr at Kirk’s funeral…
Every GOP event is also a Grindr event
AIDS is a huge one.
I met someone a little while ago who was fresh out of the closet and complaining how long they’d spent there.
Statistically, they’d be dead if they were out pre AIDS.
Any actual stats to back that up?
You can’t use statistics to evaluate what would have happened to an individual. Someone’s personal behavior matters more than what statistically ‘should’ have happened to them. It also depends on where they were located; while 10% of young gay men in the US as a whole died of AIDS, over 60% of young male deaths in San Francisco at the height of the crisis were due to AIDS.
Woah. 10% is insane. That’s ~5% of the entire population.
Perhaps I exaggerate, but this person was in a geographic region particularly hard-hit and turns out is really into some of the dangrous behaviour (adjusting filters as part of coming out is, evidently, difficult).
In 1990, AIDS caused 61% of all deaths of men aged 25-44 (born 1946-1965) in San Francisco, 35% in New York, 51% in Ft. Lauderdale, 32% in Boston, 33% in Washington, DC, 39% in Seattle, 34% in Dallas, 38% in Atlanta, 43% in Miami, and 25% in Portland, Oregon.
Also: https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist/article-abstract/52/2/255/613902
Is that:
A) The percentage of all deaths that were caused by AIDS? 1000 people in a group, 100 people died, 61 of those 100 were from AIDS.
Or
B) Percentage of total population that died because of AIDS? 1000 people in a group, 610 of them died because of AIDS.
A
Wow, 61% is crazy…
Yeah, we know anecdotally that it was horrific and that the government was indifferent at best, but I’d like to quantify it as well.
