I’m very disappointed in poem_for_your_sprog for almost understanding this point, and then immediately making the same mistake she was calling out

‘I have to sort my books!’ she cried,
With self-indulgent glee;
With senseless, narcissistic pride:
‘I’m just so OCD!’
‘How random, guys!’ I smiled and said,
Then left without a peep -
And washed my hands until they bled,
And cried myself to sleep.

  • moakley@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    While we’re at it, “gaslighting” is an abusive manipulation tactic to make someone doubt their own mind. It doesn’t just mean “lying”.

    • SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      It’s really exhausting. OCD, ADHD, NPD, BPD, Bipolar disorder, all these commonly armchair-diagnosed disorders have lost so much meaning due to inappropriate use. I was recently accused of gaslighting because I didn’t recall what someone was criticizing me for, so I said as much and asked for examples. Big gaslighter here, everyone.

  • protist@mander.xyz
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    The adjective “narcissistic” exists entirely separate from the psychiatric definition of “narcissistic personality disorder” and predates it by millennia. I get the other ones, tho.

    But in this poem, OCD seems like it’s a genuine topic, if they’re washing their hands until they bleed. I guess maybe there’s backstory here I’m not privy to

    • kieron115@startrek.website
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      Right, at it’s most basic level wouldn’t it just be saying that someone or something is similar to Narcissus?

      edit to support your point:

    • Binette@lemmy.ml
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      That would be true, if it wasn’t for the fact that people try to use the symptoms of NPD as proof that someone is a narcissist. You’ll see it in plenty of “therapy speech” communities.

      You can call someone a narcissist all you want. But as soon as you pathologise it, it becomes clear that you aren’t talking about someone who’s just full of themselves. And unfortunately, the vast majority of the internet pathologised it, so it could only mean that.

      This video explains the phenomenon very well: https://youtu.be/8ZFQG2e87ZU

      • protist@mander.xyz
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        2 days ago

        Ok, but the context here is someone using the term “senseless, narcissistic pride,” which clearly has nothing to do with what you’re talking about

        • Binette@lemmy.ml
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          2 days ago

          I didn’t bother to read what was on the underlined section of it. Sorry 😅

    • Best_Jeanist@discuss.onlineOP
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      Well sure, you can say you’re using the original Greek meaning, but if you did that, I’d judge you for all the cultural baggage associated with the Greek meaning. You’ve got to do your homework when you cite ancient history, because if you don’t, then you might not realise you’re referencing a queerphobic interpretation of an ancient myth.

      • kieron115@startrek.website
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        2 days ago

        Could you elaborate on this please? The only thing I remember about Narcissus is that, when he was born, a seer or something made a prophecy that he would live forever so long as he never knew himself. He had a bunch of suitors, all of whom he spurned, until one day he saw his own reflection in a lake. Being unable to obtain the only thing he has ever loved (himself), he sat by the lake staring until he died.

        • Best_Jeanist@discuss.onlineOP
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          You’ve nearly got the myth right, just missing one detail: he only fell in love with his reflection after he was cursed by the goddess Rhamnusia. She sentenced him to die of thirst because he wouldn’t date anyone. He was only 16.

          That’s all from Ovid. Try to evaluate that story in a modern context, and you’ll see it becomes pretty gross. I really like the story as an example of how horrible people can be to asexuals. But most people side with Ameinias’ interpretation that not wanting to date anyone is an act of abuse and hubris worthy of execution and two thousand years of hate.

      • ChexMax@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        English is a living language. If enough people take narcissistic to mean self-absorbed that’s what it means, and the general population is not queerphobic for using it that way.

        • Best_Jeanist@discuss.onlineOP
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          5 hours ago

          That’s fucking gay.

          more

          Sorry for using the word that way, but I remember growing up and hearing other kids say that like it meant nothing. Just like you. I never liked hearing that language, but I didn’t realise how distasteful it was until I got a bit older and realised I was gay.

          I hope we as a society have grown beyond such callous cruelty, but people like you remind me that making others feel empathy is a never ending battle.

        • Best_Jeanist@discuss.onlineOP
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          Narcissus wasn’t arrogant in the Greek myth. He was a 16 year old kid who everyone thought was beautiful. Lots of people wanted to bone him, but he just wanted to be left alone. After this one guy, Ameinias, proposed marriage to him for like the tenth time, Narcissus told him to fuck off and die. Ameinias did as he was told, and prayed for Nemesis for revenge. Ameinias thought Narcissus didn’t want to marry him because he was arrogant, so he prayed to the god of punishment for hubris. The ancient Greeks didn’t understand asexuality or being a late bloomer, so they took Ameinias’ side in interpreting the myth.

          Anyone who thinks “narcissist” is an insult is also unknowingly taking Ameinias’ side.

      • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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        3 days ago

        Thought it originated as being slang for an undercover narcotics officer. So an undercover cop who busts you for drugs. Then by extension, an informant who rats you out to such an officer.

    • Best_Jeanist@discuss.onlineOP
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      I’m glad you haven’t been exposed to the Reddit communities where they use that word as an ableist slur.

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    Y’all need to learn that describing diagnoses by their symptoms isn’t necessarily better or helpful.

    Y’all need to learn that psychology is a science which has only recently been getting it’s time in the limelight and you shouldn’t be offended by its terms becoming more common knowledge.

    Y’all need to learn that your pet peeves don’t dictate how others must communicate.

    Y’all need to learn that if misuse of language annoys you then educate rather than denigrate is always a better approach.

    • “Therapy speak” is such a growing problem that it was included in a newsletter I just got about “Trends for therapists to look out for in 2026.” It was #2 on the 6 item list

      I used to be able to trust that when a new client says “my partner gaslights me” they meant they are literally being abused, but now I have to ask whether they’re being hyperbolic or using that term colloquially, which risks invalidating their experience.

      This is similar to how people going gluten free caused a headache for people with celiac disease. Yes, there have been benefits, like growing awareness and more options on the shelf, but it also led to celiac folks not being taken/treated seriously, which could be deadly.

    • Best_Jeanist@discuss.onlineOP
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      educate rather than denigrate is always a better approach

      “Y’all need to relearn X” IS education. If you feel denigrated when you’re told to learn something, then I don’t see how it’s possible to educate you without offending you.

      • Zombie@feddit.uk
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        Just because it has the word learn in it doesn’t mean it’s educating. It’s purposefully written in an obtuse manner to complain and denigrate, not educate.

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    Most of the self diagnosed OCDers are actually anal. They just don’t want to describe themselves as anal.

    • Best_Jeanist@discuss.onlineOP
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      5 hours ago

      You mean like Freud’s theory that children who fail potty training and can’t let go of their poo become maladjusted adults who try to control everything in their lives?

  • Brosplosion@lemmy.zip
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    Are there really people who mix up impulses and intrusive thoughts?

    I always love explaining to people that when I handle kitchen knives a small part of me is like “Slit your fucking neck and stab everyone you know! You can do it with that knife you got!” I’ve gotten over the horror of it but it took me years to comprehend that it’s not normal.

  • Nima@leminal.space
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    I’m kinda getting tired of one person deciding that their personal pet peeves must be laws of communications for all.

  • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    Reminded of a very good friend who means no harm but really needs to learn the words “stupid” and “awkward” instead of “autistic”

  • A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world
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    We often wanted to use these terms, but they were loaded with generational guilt.

    Language is a dialogue, a process. Not a snapshot.