[title] I could swear I came across it before, but then again, maybe I dreamed it. 🫣
Anemoia - nostalgia for a life you never lived.
Apparently made up for the experience you’re describing.
Never mix anemoia with bleach.
Or add water to chlorine.
Let me guess, The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows? Absolutely wonderfull project.
OP noticed the weirdly flat looking lamp
wow, haven’t thought about that story for a long time
What’s that about
There was an AskReddit thread titled “Have you ever felt a deep personal connection to a person you met in a dream only to wake up feeling terrible because you realize they never existed?”
The original comment being referenced has been since deleted, but you can still find some reposts floating around.
Here’s a copy of it:
throw away account cause this is really personal.
My last semester at a certain college I was assulted by a football player for walking where he was trying to drive (note he was 325lbs I was 120lbs), while unconscious on the ground I lived a different life.
I met a wonderful young lady, she made my heart skip and my face red, I pursued her for months and dispatched a few jerk boyfriends before I finally won her over, after two years we got married and almost immediately she bore me a daughter.
I had a great job and my wife didn’t have to work outside of the house, when my daughter was two she [my wife] bore me a son. My son was the joy of my life, I would walk into his room every morning before I left for work and doted on him and my daughter.
One day while sitting on the couch I noticed that the perspective of the lamp was odd, like inverted. It was still in 3D but… just… wrong. (It was a square lamp base, red with gold trim on 4 legs and a white square shade). I was transfixed, I couldn’t look away from it. I stayed up all night staring at it, the next morning I didn’t go to work, something was just not right about that lamp.
I stopped eating, I left the couch only to use the bathroom at first, soon I stopped that too as I wasn’t eating or drinking. I stared at the fucking lamp for 3 days before my wife got really worried, she had someone come and try to talk to me, by this time my cognizance was breaking up and my wife was freaking out. She took the kids to her mother’s house just before I had my epiphany… the lamp is not real… the house is not real, my wife, my kids… none of that is real… the last 10 years of my life are not fucking real!
The lamp started to grow wider and deeper, it was still inverted dimensions, it took up my entire perspective and all I could see was red, I heard voices, screams, all kinds of weird noises and I became aware of pain… a fucking shit ton of pain… the first words I said were “I’m missing teeth” and opened my eyes. I was laying on my back on the sidewalk surrounded by people that I didn’t know, lots were freaking out, I was completely confused.
At some point a cop scooped me up, dragged/walked me across the sidewalk and grass and threw me face down in the back of a cop car, I was still confused.
I was taken to the hospital by the cop (seems he didn’t want to wait for the ambulance to arrive) and give CT scans and shit…
I went through about 3 years of horrid depression, I was grieving the loss of my wife and children and dealing with the knowledge that they never existed, I was scared that I was going insane as I would cry myself to sleep hoping I would see her in my dreams. I never have, but sometimes I see my son, usually just a glimpse out of my peripheral vision, he is perpetually 5 years old and I can never hear what he says.
EDIT (24 hours after post): never though anyone would read this, I changed a line so that it no longer seems that my 2 year old daughter bore a child.
I have never seen Inception or the Star Trek episode so many have mentioned (but I will eventually)
I will not do an AMA
I’ve had many PM’s describing similar experiences and 3 posters stating such experiences are impossible, I’d say more research needs to be done on brain functions. Pre-med students, don’t assume you know everything.
A few have asked if they can write a book/screen play/stage play/rage comic etcetera, please consider this tale open source and have fun with it
Haha tha ks buddy. I had already found it in know your meme, but this will help others.
Yes there are several: fauxstalgia or anemoia
Those are fake word invented for the purpose though.
There is also “anticipatory nostalgia”, which is about being nostalgic for potential future losses.
All words were invented for a purpose. When that happens, they’re referred to as a neologism.
Theres nothing fake about them.
The best word I’ve heard that covers that, is the Portuguese " Saudade "; especially because it’s ingrained in the culture ( e.g. Fado) .same for Brazil ofc.
Nope Saudade is just the feeling of nostalgia, for some reason someone convinced foreigners and some Brazilians that it’s special or somehow different from nostalgia. And it caught because mostly we don’t use nostalgia to refer to people, so in most people’s mind they’re somewhat different but it’s just because of common use. Any phrase that Portuguese uses saudades can be replaced with missing in english without losing any meaning, e.g. Tenho saudades do meu cachorro -> I miss my dog.
e was asking the exact same question in Portuguese he would ask something among the lines of “what’s the name for saudades of something that happened
Little plus. “Saudade” is like a strong, strong feeling about something you/we miss a lot. Imo, is almost impossible describe Saudade in english. Dont know if other languages has something comparing to Saudade.
No it’s not, saudades means nostalgia, I don’t know why people think it’s different.
Imo, Saudade is like a strong feeling but/and you can add some variants. Like you said, nostalgia, but you can add sadness and proudness on the context. You arent wrong , but on my pont of view, Saudade is a term which can takes several components.
Let’s switch to Portuguese, I don’t think anyone else is following this far down on the thread.
Mas essas mesmas variantes podem estar na nostalgia, tristeza e orgulho tbm estão vinculadas com nostalgia. Eu acho que o que acontece eh que a gente esta tao acostumado a usar saudade e tao nao acostumado a usar nostalgia, q soa estranho e diferente, mas eh difícil colocar a diferença em palavras pq na real não tem, eh só um sentimento de que deviam ser diferentes.
Percebo isso. E sim, explicar em inglês torna-se extremamente dificil explicar o que é saudade.
Ainda assim, se olhares para a palavra Saudade e a usares num certo contexto, acho que emprega muitos mais sentimentos que nostalgia. Mas lá está, isto é a forma como vejo a palavra saudade. Provavelmente depende de pessoa para pessoa
Not once have I heard it in the context of something that didn’t happen though
It’s possible to be used in that context, same way OP is saying that he feels nostalgic for something that didn’t happened. Saudades is a feeling of nostalgia. So if someone was asking the exact same question in Portuguese he would ask something among the lines of “what’s the name for saudades of something that happened in a dream”
But now we’re stuck where we were before, it’s no different from nostalgia or longing in that regard where it’s not implied that it’s something that didn’t happen, which I think is what OP wants.
I agree, Saudades is not the word OP is looking for.
something that didn’t happen though
Maybe because longing for something or someone you knew is also Saudade ofc, and is the more commonly known, like for people close to you. Otherwise " sinto falta de" ( I miss).
Afaik [ Brazil and some Portuguese fiends], you can have Saudade for something that might have happened, something you thought happened, never will happen, or even Saudade for something you don’t know ever happened, or without knowing whatever it is, or knowing whatever it is or coming from; like undefined. Like a state of being.
That’s also how it’s said in the wiki page I linked , a quote:
The Dictionary from the Royal Galician Academy, on the other hand, defines saudade as an "intimate feeling and mood caused by the longing for something absent that is being missed. This can take different aspects, from concrete realities (a loved one, a friend, the motherland, the homeland…) to the mysterious and transcendent.
Not a lifetime, but people. Sometimes the people in my dreams are so real it seems they must be people, separate from me. I am wake up and miss them. I don’t know that there is a separate word for that just wanted to say I have the same feelings sometimes.
maudlin
Roy.
Transgender. Self deprecating humour, but your subject is a familiar feeling for so many of us :\
Déjà vu?
