spoiler
TheRapist
When your therapist is trying to trick you into labelling yourself an incel.
That is one shitty therapist
I had the exact same conversation with mine, when I was 20.
It’s hard to believe that you’ll have a better experience elsewhere, especially when you have already spent hundreds of € on that one.
Say no to therapists, say yes to callgirls. They charge less too.
Lots of shit therapists out there.
A friend of mine, his ex-wife’s therapist encouraged her to have an affair. An old highschool fling reached out to her, and she was essentially perpetually stuck in highschool due to some intense trauma around that age. Therapist said to go for it.
Always look at a potential spouse’s friends before getting married. Do they cheat, slack off, and just generally kind of suck? Your spouse-to-be will almost certainly follow their example. I say this because most people’s “therapist” are their friends and if their friends are maladjusted assholes you can probably expect more of the same.
She thinks you’re hot anon. Bang your therapist
Probably fake, but a therapist should never say anything like that. I’m in my 30’s and a virigin, and no doctor, therapist, etc., has ever asked me anything close to that. And if they did, I’d be searching for a new therapist. Wouldn’t even finish the session.
Uncle in therapy for second nervous breakdown. Therapist tells aunt that hell be a dead weight aroind her neck. Tells him to go fishing - he hates fishing. This was a recommended therapist from a good GP.
Another family member with past addiction and suicide attempts went to a different GP seeking therapy. Was told by the GP humans have been to the moon and can do anything so stop being so depressed. Wtf does that even mean.
Shitty people are in every profession.
“Nelson Mandela stopped racism in South Africa decades ago, so cheer up!”
That’s about the story of how am I about to try a fourth one in so many years. Gosh is it hard to find a good one ; taking the step to recognise you should see someone isn’t the hard part. Picking up your phone and call one isn’t the hard part. Fiding one that works for you is the damnedest hardest part of it, period.
Don’t drop it. Keep trying.
So true. Unfortunately both men rarely talk about feelings and were more or less forced by circumstance to seek help for mental health.
They already hated the idea and now hate it more. When they have some sort of future relapse they’ll be be even more closed off to seeking help.
Sucks.
Best therapist I ever had, had barely an office, that he split with his wife who did a separate type of counseling. He didnt advertise that I could tell, no preamble, no official stuff, no formal psychological analysis. Felt like I was just talking to a supportive buddy. Sometimes he would just tell me stories about when he was younger and had substance abuse issues and I would barely talk.
Wish I could say there was a trick to finding a good therapist. I picked the closest one to my house, which was a very tiny run down multi office building hidden behind a round-about and giant trees.
Yup, good therapists exist, but like most professions, finding one that works for you can be difficult.
Having a bad therapy experience doesn’t mean you aren’t fixable, it means the therapist sucks.
Some doctors go to school for 20 years only to say the dumbest shit
Q: What do you call a doctor that cheated and manipulated their way through medical school and their residency?
A: Doctor.
Some doctors chose the profession to get laid and make money. Not the greatest motivators for being a good human in some cases.
The older ones tend to still think that way.
One of my previous psychiatrists got kicked out being the head of his department because he was using his position to lobby heavily to keep Asexuality in the the DSM.
Mine was 30 maximum, I was 20. It’s not about age, it’s about always getting what you wanted when you wanted it; then you don’t understand how it might not work like that for others.
I may have once believed this would never happen but after a therapist once told me I was wrong for outting a pedophile I can’t imagine this being that far fetched.
Even if it’s not fake, in every other instance, if you have a bad dentist who says shit that makes you uncomfortable, you get a new dentist, happens every day, bad dentists get bad reviews and open shitty practices in bad neighborhoods and people expect the care to be substandard. Rarely do you even hear stories about that kind of thing because people have normalized dental care.
The fact that this shit is controversial shows just how far we have to go before people start taking their fucking minds seriously. You know, only the most important part of your physical, living experience.
Men: never go to a female therapist, they will NEVER be able to understand you from a man’s perspective. All they see is abundance, with men chasing them and paying attention to them, and will never understand how few choices those men in the bottom-80% are left with.
Uhh Ohh
No, that therapist is. There are shitty people in every profession.
I feel like I need to say that if this was your experience you had a really shit therapist and deserve better. I’ve felt like this with a therapist before and it’s terrible. It’s ok to drop a therapist over this and try a different one.
My bet is this is fake. A large part of incel groups is making sure no one seeks help, so they stay longer. If you demonize therapists then that’s one more path to then existing removed.
I know better than to assume that anything posted to 4chan actually happened, but I also know from personal experience that moments just like this one DO happen to people. So even if this particular story is a fiction or was intended to serve some other purpose, it’s portraying a familiar moment for many people and I wanted to acknowledge that and encourage people to seek better help.
But don’t seek it through Better Help.
😁 true that
Seem like just opening up to a friend and them questioning things. Doesn’t sound like a proper therapist.
betterhelp ahh therapist
You can actually say “ass” here, btw.
Fuckin’ mainstream social media-ass comment.
No they’re on .world so bad words like “ass” deal psychic damage to them.
I’m on .world.
Ass.
Fuck.
Shit.Stop, you’ll get fucking hurt!
I read it as “better help uhh therapist” because of the stupid ass self censorship. I’m not blaming the user for doing it, just annoyed for natural real world language getting hamstrung to satisfy advertisers. How long until “tisk tisk tisk! You can’t say ‘ahh’, that’s a naughty word!”?
That’s really, genuinely never made sense to me. If I’m going to say “freaking cold” it has the exact same meaning as “fucking cold”. So what’s the difference? Yet one is acceptable and one is, *clutches pearls*, a bad word. :O
Watch your fucking language!
Please mom, not the soap!
“ahh” has a better ring to it than “ass”
Personally I prefer “arse” with an uppity RP (Received Pronunciation) accent.
I’m not going to downvote you for this, because you’re allowed to think that, but I want you to know that I want to because you’re wrong. Lol
Yeah but saying ahh is funny
Ass is just crass (also, this has the same energy as redditors who complain about emojis)
I mean, if the specific word you want to use seems to be an inappropriate tone, maybe find a different way to say what you’re trying to say instead of injecting a filter-bypass replacement for the same word you didn’t feel was an appropriate tone?
Betterhelp-coded therapist
Sounds like Betterhelp’s caliber of therapists
Lemme guess, this “therapist” was via Betterhelp
For a couple of examples
Edit: I see you didn’t post the original comment. Oops!
No u 😘
Ahh means ass? Drag is out of touch.
Yeah, it’s an AAVE based, censorship-born, slang term.
So many people have this experience and never come back. Took me 4 to find the right one. (Meaning good at their job and had a good raport with me)
I feel like I would be a better therapist than this and I have no training or desire to get in that field! But I sure as shit wouldn’t go out of my way to shame someone with low self-esteem who’s literally trying to improve themself. If that conversation was verbatim, I’m not exaggerating when I said the therapist should be suspended.
It’s honestly hard to imagine how someone who’s this shit can even attain the title of “therapist”.
Welcome to America, where we have degree mills you can buy doctorates from and an understaffed health industry that will take whoever they can get. Never trust that a medical professional will act with your best interest in mind until you’ve established a relationship with them and know they’re actually competent.
Find a better therapist. Just because someone goes to school and gets a professional credential doesn’t mean they don’t suck at their job.
Why talk to a professional when I can simply talk to my very normal, very mentally healthy anons on the green text site?
Even if they aren’t bad at their job, someone who doesn’t have enough similarity of life experience to have a basic understanding of what you’re going through could be a bad fit anyway.
The whole “similarity of life experience” bit is the hard part if you’re an outsider without much in common with the liberal elites that make up the vast majority of therapists.
It’s really not a surprise that therapy is recommended pretty exclusively by people from the same demographic group as therapists, nor that people who get excluded from the highly exclusionary and non-diverse liberal society tend to strongly dislike the profession.
I can’t for the life of me figure out why you’re being downvoted. It’s absolutely true. Maybe it’s because people don’t understand what you mean by “liberal elites”? That’s not a synonym for democrat voters. It’s people who have been served by the status quo (neoliberalism) their whole lives and therefore see nothing wrong with it. Conservatives (especially the never trump or ambivalent about trump types) are just right wing liberals… conservatism falls under liberalism.
Liberal ≠ left.
because it ignores the fact that there are people with significant mental illnesses that have been failed by the status quo who are still able to receive help through therapy.
The comment only makes sense if you assume therapy is like the strawman presented in the greentext. Broadly speaking, there is widespread evidence that therapy is effective in helping people with mental illnesses survive and thrive in modern society. It’s not just for liberal elites to chat about their first world problems, even if that group is most likely to be scammed by an unqualified therapist. Unqualified therapists do exist, just like there’s shitty doctors and shitty dentists, because capitalism incentivizes shitty people to go into these fields for profit, but they’re a minority in an underutilized and stigmatized system.
Liberal elites are people like Bill Gates and Oprah. The 1%.
You should probably remove the spaces in the words therapy and therapists.
Bad habit from middle school when we used “therapist.com” as bait for overzealous admins trying to crack down on internet use.
You know what you call a doctor who got all Cs throughout college?
Doctor.
*doctor who works for a health insurance company denying claims in a field of healthcare they have no experience or education in
I’d still trust those more than I would a therapist without even professional credentials.
On today’s episode of Bullshit That Never Happened…
As someone who’s had a uh… not great experience with mental health care, this story is totally believable to me.
My wife should be in therapy but has entirely sworn it off after her last therapist would gossip to clients about other clients, especially clients who are related or know eachother well, and tried to play matchmaker, giving her contact info and sharing some of her struggles with another client of his who happened to be finishing up a prison sentence at that time. He runs his own practice because he was fired from the last one for HIPPA violations, and instead of being thankful his old boss didn’t entirely ruin him he just is resentful that he got fired for engaging in what should be career-ending activities
That therapist needs to lose their license yesterday.
And probably see some jail time, as well as a class action lawsuit.
they wouldn’t see jail time but they could be sued in a civil suit. they’d certainly never practice again once they get some eyes on them. they seem to have a pattern of fucking up
I think they should see jail time. The current law would probably not support jail time, but I do think that should be on the table for breaching a confidentiality agreement like this.
if you want to, you can DM me for some help with reporting this person to your state or province licensing board. not just for your family but for everyone that bastard is seeing. this is a disgusting abuse of the profession, but it’s VERY easy to take action against
This is sadly all too believable but I’m happy for you that all of your experiences with therapy have been so positive that this seems impossible
This belongs here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts
This is a good opportunity to ask why sex work is still illegal (unless you’re rich ofc) in the US.
We could basically end the incel phenomenon and deal a huge blow to the sex slavery trade overnight (and for very little cost to taxpayers or society) by making sex work legal and bringing it into daylight.
Ftr Incels exist in Australia and they have a red light district.
Incels don’t want to pay for sex.
Don’t get me wrong, I think it should be legal too if for no other reason that it makes it safer for the sex workers.
But just manage your expectations of what sexual deviants expect as Sex work doesn’t put an end to that part of the equation. Buying sex is still available even if illegal and you’re still going to have sexual deviants,psychopaths and incels. For Those groups in particular it is less about sex and more about power (and often hatred for women) hence the toxic energy they bring into sex.
Another issue for some deviants is sex workers carry a degree of consent. And shitheads like that aren’t looking for consent.
incels may not be seeking for paid sex as much as they want more power top relationship towards women(or feel entitled to) but they are unwilling to work on their personality. So their problem stems not from sex but more from their personality and feeling unloved with the sex they feel entitled to combined into that.
You don’t bring that kind of hate energy for an entire gender just over being horny.
If you want to deal with a problematic group, in this case incels, I don’t think it’s generally helpful to consider them a monolith. There’s different clades in these types of groups that have different views and motivations. I think you’re probably right, I did set my expectations too high there, but I do think that there’s some quantum of incels who really do end up getting into the toxic shit because of the sexual frustration. I think it’s probably much fairer to say that you could defuse at least a meaningful number of incels with legal sex work.
I don’t doubt that some get into problematic shit due to sexual frustration (and inability to cope), but that doesn’t mean getting laid is what they need first. They need to learn to cope with sexual frustration, get out of the problematic shit, then getting laid would be nice.
Incels also tend to behave poorly when they do interact with sex workers.
very little cost to taxpayers or society
How would it be a cost, surely it would be a net positive since we can now tax something that’s already being done, no?
I see no downsides, provided there are restrictions on advertisement and where they can set up shop. I’m not interested in it at all, but I am interested in reducing sex slavery, arrests of women (and men!) who are just trying to feed their kids, etc. My general philosophy is that if someone wants to do a thing, and it doesn’t violate anyone else’s rights, there should be a legal way to do that thing.
It would need to be regulated to ensure that people are doing this work freely and responsibly (not being compelled by a pimp or spreading STDs). No regulation enforcement is free. It would be a net positive, sure, but not free.
Sure, but regulation is implied by having it be “legal” instead of decriminalized. It would more than pay for itself w/ tax revenue.
Sex work is illegal because giving people the ability to use something they own (their body) as their own means of production removes a barrier to success, causing some of the power to slip away from the owning class. If I can charge $200 an hour for hole rental services I don’t have to work a corporate job, which means my labor can’t be exploited. This is (for the owning class) of course a bad thing.
(1) That logic doesn’t stop people from working independently at one of many different other trades, and (2) sex work if legalized would gravitate towards a corporate vs. independent breakdown of jobs just like other trades. It’s not like porn stars aren’t making money for the “owning class.”
Don’t have anything to add as I agree, just wanted to say your username gave me a chuckle!
…Unless I’m actually an idiot and it wasn’t a geology pun lol :P
It is a pun thank you I worked really hard on that username 🥹
Sex work is legal! Maybe not in your puritanical shithole, but in sane countries it is.
Really? You are willing to shag anybody for merely $200? Or, more probably, 4 people for 50$ each?
Don’t oversimplify this whole problem. It is, like almost all problems, not a black and white problem.
It’s literally impossible for people to figure out price points for goods and services. This is famously why free markets have never existed.
My friend i’ll shag people for free.
Sex workers are people, not a prescription.
I agree, of course, in the same sense that health care workers, firefighters, and carpenters are people and not prescriptions. Being people doesn’t preclude their work from being useful to society.
In fact, the whole point of working is to be useful to society! Unless you’re not part of society, then the whole point is to survive but that’s dangerously close to opening a whole other can of worms.
Jesus Christ, that tops the worst thing I’ve ever heard a therapist say.
I heard a tale about a therapist in Iowa who after talking about issues with anxiety recommended eating brains shaped foods like, broccoli and walnuts.
What’s the weather like in 1825?
Sadly it was only 4 years ago. But Iowa does feel like that sometimes.
I mean they have gravel county highways. When I found myself on one unexpectedly last year I said out loud “Why is this county highway unpaved? Why is Iowa a third world country?!”
Fucking ridiculous. Obviously you need to eat food shaped like your skull in order to enhance the beneficial humours.
Don’t know if there’s a distinction in English but when I read “therapist” I know that over here it can be anyone. Psychologist and psychiatrists have a professional order, therapists don’t… You could decide to become a therapist tomorrow morning if you wanted…
I am wondering the sane* tbh
Same* (I keep the typo for posterity)
“the sane”
Hehehe
You still don’t know a therapist has ever said this though.
I had a therapist that eventually deemed me too dangerous to myself to be in their care, so she upgraded me to super-therapy where I have to go like 9 hours a week and work with a group and like 5 therapists but I still don’t get much value out of it :c so yeah, therapy definitely isn’t for everyone
sounds like providing good therapy isn’t for every therapist
level of care determinations are an important part of therapy. let’s not just bandwagon here.
that’s probably more accurate, I probably just need to find a better therapist
You need to find your fit just like in love or friendship because it’s a highly personal relationship that you’re trying to develop with that person.
Ironic, considering most of us who need therapy struggle with relationships
Yeah it’s one of the most challenging parts. The process of getting therapy is not set up to be easy for the kind of people who need it. Availability is the most limiting factor these days, so if you don’t get a good match, you could be stuck waiting months for another try. I got pretty lucky on my second try a few years ago, but my wife just gave up trying to find someone. It’s hard to blame her.
You now have 5 therapists to choose from though
sounds like you got bumped up to a higher level of care. are you in IOP? that’s quite standard, especially for someone struggling severely but doesn’t want to go to inpatient
some therapists freak out a bit over suicide risk a bit much, but there’s a good chance that their recommendation was justified and the right call. I recommend talking about your frustration with your original therapist if possible, or just your favorite of the 5 if not.
I hope you’re getting a lot of good skills
Even knowing a shitty human therapist personally didn’t shake me. It was dating apps. The amount of women I see that I’d run from at full speed, then notice they’re therapists… Jfc (I 100% believe everyone should be in therapy. There are shitty physical health doctors too.)
Why should everybody be in therapy? That’s like saying everybody should see a physiotherapist.
I mean, with how common back problems are in people of all ages, maybe we should all be seeing physiotherapists
I know I should be. I would genuinely benefit more from a good massage therapist than a psychotherapist at this point in life.
It’s more like saying everyone should get a physical on a regular basis. We all need a check up now and then.
Ty
You’re reminding me of a certain quote… “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” -J.Krishnamurti
As fucked up as this world is, if you’re well adjusted to it, you’re broken and probably should see someone, and if you’re not, you need therapy to make it through the evolving dystopian hellscape. …so yeah, I think that’s what they’re saying.
I mean… yes? Some days I feel that way, and reading your words makes sense to me. In this case I simply meant we should care for our mental health like physical and normalize it. But seeing dude compare therapy to needing a specialist for an acute problem, then reading your response… Yeah, you’re def right in this case. Broken is normative.
It’s sad that it’s true. Therapists are in high demand, and part of the reason we need more therapists is that about 1/5 of current therapists are basket cases in denial who use the idea of therapy to fulfill their own desires to control and manipulate others.
Either:
- boink therapist
- complain to professional body that therapist tried to seduce you
or 3. ask therapist out
Why not both?
