• sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zipEnglish
    168·
    30 days ago

    Sounds to me like the dude is doing a fantastic job roleplaying and gal’s idea of roleplaying is just acting out low budget pornos from the 90s.

    ‘I want a real roleplay!’

    You’re getting a pretty damn real roleplay, what you want is cheesy, netflix-content-mill tier schlock.

    • Ajen@sh.itjust.works
      9·
      29 days ago

      A cop yelling “officer down!” while having sex with a suspect doesn’t seem very realistic to me.

        • Ajen@sh.itjust.works
          3·
          29 days ago

          I could see them claiming injury if they got caught. But in this role play, it sounds like the “cop” was getting away with it, and started shouting for no reason.

      • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zipEnglish
        4·
        29 days ago

        Sure, the more realistic thing would be getting piss drunk and throwing her into a wall and breaking her nose or something, and then forcibly taking her from behind while she’s bleeding with a broken wrist, but that would probably be outside of the realm of roleplay and into actual domestic violence.

  • ch00f@lemmy.world
    104·
    30 days ago

    bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

    BritneySpears14: Aight.

    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.

    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

    bloodninja: Me too baby.

    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.

    bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

    BritneySpears14: Hey…

    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don’t see it.

    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.

    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

    bloodninja: Don’t f*ck with me bitch, I’m the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

    BritneySpears14: Don’t ever message me again you piece of ****.

    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik’s evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it’s getting hard now.

    bloodninja: Baby?

  • EpeeGnome@lemm.eeEnglish
    103·
    30 days ago

    The solution to this is simple. She just needs to ask him to play a porn character of a cop. Then she’d get the performance she was hoping for. Just be careful to be specific so he doesn’t end up play a porn actor playing a cop, because then he’d be asking an imaginary director about his blocking, accidentally forgetting his lines, and requesting to cut and start the shot over.

  • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
    38·
    30 days ago

    I’ll be honest, every time I’ve tried roleplaying I can’t take it seriously, I just bust up laughing at the absurdity of it, which then gets my wife laughing while being annoyed at the same time, so then we have laughing frustration sex, so, win?

    • Senseless@feddit.orgEnglish
      3·
      30 days ago

      Wouldn’t you have sex anyway? Or is there something that makes laughing frustration sex special?

      • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
        19·
        30 days ago

        Yeah, but my point was that the original idea of fantasy sex changes into a “you suck gigglefest” type of ordeal. Troll sex, if you will.

        DM;HS

  • qyron@sopuli.xyz
    14·
    30 days ago

    I don’t roleplay in the bedroom. Being blessed with the dramatic talent of a water heater makes it a rather daunting task.

    But…

    Envy those who can. Those have extra fun when having fun.

    This couple?

    I risk the dude is trying to add an extra layer of personal fun. But definitely falling short of the objective.

  • shastaxc@lemm.ee
    11·
    29 days ago

    Bond doesn’t wear a trenchcoat. Pink panther style spy is what you get when that’s the outfit you give him. I’m not gonna act like Dora the Explorer if you give me a Power Ranger costume.

  • static_slabs@feddit.rocksEnglish
    227·
    27 days ago

    Good to see the person I tagged as “insane misandrist” is still at it and man-blaming where there is no fault.

    Enjoy your life of hate and prejudice, cunt.