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ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 month ago

They said the packaging would be discreet!

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They said the packaging would be discreet!

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ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 month ago
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  • YoiksAndAway@lemmy.zip
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    1 month ago

    “Pull forward after fueling or get shot”?

    • deegeese@sopuli.xyz
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      1 month ago

      Station owner sounds like a fake tough guy who cries about DEI.

      • OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca
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        1 month ago

        So a standard Trump supporter?

      • ceenote@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Sure, he’s like that on the surface, but I bet his station is willing to accept huge, suggestively shaped loads, if you know what I mean.

      • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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        1 month ago

        I’m just imagining some trucker who didn’t see the sign walking into the store to buy some snacks

        • shalafi@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          It isn’t the owner going to be doing the shooting. It’s the guy stuck waiting behind an empty truck. That’s the joke.

          • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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            1 month ago

            If you say so, and obviously that trucker couldn’t shoot the guy walking out with snacks.

            That’s impossible.

          • King3d@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

      • fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com
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        1 month ago

        Maybe, but not based on the sign. That’s a standard trucker joke about waiting for pumps.

      • MBM@lemmings.world
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        1 month ago

        Definitely a fake tough guy, but not in the way you meant. The whole image is fake.

      • don@lemm.ee
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        1 month ago

        deleted by creator

      • kerrigan778@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        ITS. A. JOKE.

        • deegeese@sopuli.xyz
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          1 month ago

          Of course it’s a joke.

          The jokes you tell are a window into your personality and this one looks rotten.

          • kerrigan778@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            The ability to make a silly dumb joke about a minor occupational annoyance is a window into being able to laugh at yourself. Your inability to look at someone making a silly joke without making political condemnations about their character says more about you than about them.

            • deegeese@sopuli.xyz
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              1 month ago

              Death threats aren’t funny. Grow up.

              • kerrigan778@lemmy.world
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                1 month ago

                Tongue in cheek threats are in fact funny to a tremendous number of people since time immemorial. I’m sorry you don’t approve of the way some people enjoy being silly.

                Y’know the cheese shop sketch? The famous monty python sketch where John Cleese ends it with shooting the cheese shop owner for wasting his time? Basically the same joke, famously funny sketch. You just have opinions about “this type of person”

                • King3d@lemmy.world
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                  Oh wow, comparing some rundown shithole “you’ll be shot” sign to Monty Python. totally the same thing. one’s a legendary, meticulously written comedy sketch, and the other is just some backwoods inbred clown thinking threats are peak humor. But sure, those fragile pieces of shit that open carry in an Applebees to feel manly, probably also love Monty python, what do I know.

                  Also satire is lost on this as this situation has probably actually happened in America plenty of times and it’s now reality.

        • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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          1 month ago

          It’s an attempt at a joke, jokes are supposed to be funny

    • False@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      “Sorry, my cock is too big for that”

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      It’s a joke about truckers that fuel and then fuck around while the guy behind them is fuming with impatience. LOL, I’ve been that guy.

      “OH FFS MOVE!”

      Besides, truckers are on more of a schedule than the rest of us tooling around.

      • YoiksAndAway@lemmy.zip
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        1 month ago

        Thank you! This makes the most sense. I was wondering what was wrong with “please pull forward when done fueling” without threatening violence. A common annoyance plus and inside joke makes a lot more sense.

      • MrPistachios@lemmy.today
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        1 month ago

        even if your arent a trucker its so annoying when someone fills thier gas then walks off into the store to buy a snack, like just go park in front of the store. one time the gas station clerk came to tell one guy to move his car because he was just there working on it with the hood open after he got gas, the dude got so mad he jumped in his car and sped off, which was great for us that were waiting for an open spot

        • Ziglin (it/they)@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          Do you pull away before paying normally? Would the clerk still know which bill is yours then?

          • MrPistachios@lemmy.today
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            1 month ago

            They don’t let you pump before you pay here and usually the pump has a card reader on it so I never go inside unless I need to use the restroom or something

            • Ziglin (it/they)@lemmy.world
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              1 month ago

              Ah, I forgot that was how they did in some places. It does seem rather disrespectful to park there then.

    • ThePantser@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      Guessing Texas

    • Prehensile_cloaca @lemm.ee
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      1 month ago

      Probably flu shot, maybe Covid booster?

    • MBM@lemmings.world
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      … nobody came forward to say that the image is in fact photoshopped? It’s part of the joke. It’s from a facebook group that does these things.

  • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    No, they said discrete. Each mammoth dildo is individually wrapped.

    • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
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      Ah, -screte/-screet. Motherfucker.

      • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Skeet

  • Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world
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    That’s just the latest Bezos rocket under wraps. The final version will achieve perfect penis proportions for getting deep into space.

    • cerement@slrpnk.net
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      1 month ago

      assuming it doesn’t just blow its load all over the Caribbean

    • tacofox@lemm.ee
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      1 month ago

      BREAKING: “Dr.Evil is suing Jeff Bezos for IP infringement. Dr.Evil gives statement on the matter. - “What’s next freaking lasers on freaking sharks!?”” More at 11pm.

      • ℍ𝕂-𝟞𝟝@sopuli.xyz
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        1 month ago

        Jeff Bezos is just Dr. Evil without the education.

        • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          Frau Farbissina > Lauren Sánchez

      • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Dr. Evil demands compensation of

  • robocall@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Is it legal to shot someone after you post a sign?

    • MeThisGuy@feddit.nl
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      yep, double tap recommended at a gas station

  • Rentlar@lemmy.ca
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    That’s contraband in the state of Texas.

  • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
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    LPT.

    If you’re using a toy that big, the neighbors and the police already know what’s going on

    Responding for a friend

    • Ziglin (it/they)@lemmy.world
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      What does LPT stand for?

      • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
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        1 month ago

        Life Pro Tip.

  • elannasdad@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    “It’s a twenty-foot cock and balls man. It don’t look like nothing else.”

  • SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml
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    It’s the dildo of consequence heading for D.C. I hope it gets there soon.

    • mondomon@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Hopefully unlubed.

      • SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml
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        The dildo of consequence ALWAYS arrives un-lubed.

  • jrwperformance @lemmy.world
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    What is it actually? Is it some price of industrial equipment that just happens to look like a Johnson? Or is it part of a parade float or something?

    • krashmo@lemmy.world
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      What is that thing in the sky? It looks like a huge…

      JOHNSON!

      Yes sir?

      • Nightweb@lemm.ee
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        Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this

        • Shardikprime@lemmy.world
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          Dick! take a look out of starboard. My God! It looks like a huge…

      • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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        Woody? Woody Harrelson?

    • perviouslyiner@lemmy.world
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      Maybe a planter? Something like this which folds out to this.

      • flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works
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        I appreciate the effort but i kinda hope that the satanic temple or someone is up to some epic trolling instead

        • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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          I wonder if this is Nevada, where you see them transporting military equipment on trucks all the time. Like missiles and bombs. Wondering if someone got creative with the covering.

  • Diplomjodler@lemmy.world
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    I hope your mom is enjoying her new dildo.

    • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.world
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      That’s actually the return trip to Wish.com. Those pictures always overpromise, she didn’t expect the miniature version.

  • eran_morad@lemmy.world
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    deleted by creator

  • Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Paging Dr. Evil.

  • MECHAGODZILLA2@midwest.social
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    Just FYI if your package is “discrete” your delivery person is “discretely” laughing at you

  • RizzoTheSmall@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    Ma! MA!! Ma, yer mail’s here!

  • blandfordforever@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    Seems like my package has been delayed in transit!

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