My oldest cat will bring up socks, underwear, and even tank tops from the laundry area downstairs. She lets out such mournful cries while she’s doing it. Most mornings we have to collect her harvest and take everything back downstairs, restarting the process.

My childhood cat, Gimpy, used to steal rolled up socks. He’d carry them around, chirp at them, and give them drinks of water (by dipping them in the toilet).

Imagine cat streamers

“The bird situation is crazy”

Things are so bad even our emotional support animals need their emotional support socks.

Emotional support for chompy teefs

“If you believe you’re playing well because you’re getting laid, or because you’re not getting laid, or because you wear women’s underwear [or have a lucky sock] than you are!”

Crash Davis

“Hey, birds, you’re next!”

Christ, I need a lucky sock…