I was planning to write a longer post for this mega and then Silksong happened so… oops?
Short version is this week is my 9th tranniversary. I don’t remember which day exactly so I like to say it was 9/11 so I’d never forget. What ultimately cracked my egg all those years ago was not the deep yearning when looking at women that I couldn’t identify as envy or the increasingly intense and umm horny dreams where I had the power to instantly change my gender. No it was that fucking faceapp gender swap filter. I just kept staring at that pic like it was a mirror into an alternate universe where I was happier and suddenly everything clicked into place. The first few years were hit or miss with a lot of other life changes happening at the time that interfered with getting properly started so in some ways it’s more like a 5 or 6 year tranniversary but whatever. 
It’s weird to say I’m almost done but I really am so close to making all the changes I wanted. I’ll never stop being trans, but I’m definitely moving from trans(itioning) femme to trans(itioned) femme and that’s quite exciting. And maybe a little wistful looking back at the journey.
Have a good week everyone!
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I have so much mental resilience lately despite how emotionally sensitive I am. I wish I knew how to share it.
bottom dysohoria
This is the first summer where Ive fucking hated having a gock!! I made my peace with her for a long time but tucking has been more a pain in my ass and more annoying and its been so hot out Ive wanted to wear shorts, and Ive worked out a bunch and lost some weight so I wanted to look hot.
Im a top so its always been an uneasy alliance between me and her but getting a good strap has been a godsend. Cant wait until I get the surgeon to morph her into a vagina so we can BOTH be happier. Double sided dildo sounds fun as fuck!!
Coping with the state of the world by making an alt with a silly name on hexbear dot net.
I think I’m gonna go back to make up and nails tomorrow. Job hunt been stale and this been the longest I went without on the off chance someone picks up my application. I can’t keep suppressing myself
Still blown away at how fast kimchi is to make. Conceptually it’s basically sauerkraut (salty fermented cabbage), but it’s ready in a couple days instead of a couple weeks? Fuck yeah. This shit rules.
Trying to do Linux now and it’s been a process, idk just letting it install now and waiting went with mint
god forbid you ever have to walk a mile in her shoes, cause then you really might know what it’s like to crap a poo
finally watched The Batman (2022). It was good, very noir, very detective, kinda clever actually.
also the soft e-boy version of Bruce Wayne is giving me some toppy feels
y’know it’s a little weird in bg3 that Withers is consistently referred to as a Skeleton when he very clearly is covered in tissue
The upside of bring addicted to anime is that it distracts me from other things.
The downsides of being addicted to anime is that it distracts me from other things.
I had the worst day in a long time yesterday, first I woke up with a migraine, some guy wanted to rip me off on ebay, one of my cats pooped on the floor, my hacked together water bottle dispenser broke, I locked myself out, then I had to break into my own house which made my neighbors flip out thinking it was a burglar, and lastly I was late to work.
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spoiler
The feeling of just being a horrible, miserable, inconsolable piece of shit
Went to trans night at the commie bar last night. Had a good time
got compliments and a touch more on my outfit (and height) from multiple people and like damn yall i get it im tall but stfu im not a top spend 30 seconds with me and its obvious lol, im just tall But i did my eyeliner and makeup last night for the first time since april and it felt so good to wear my armour again! I love it and it just is so funnn! I just need to do it early in the day so i can recover for a couple hours from the intense dysphoria of looking in the mirror…
Trans women have an inherent advantage in doing Tarot and I’m tired of pretending otherwise.
