They actually have a special measuring device called a pom-pom-mollynocker to see how far your monocle pops out when they spring the surprise question on you. I reccomend starting a workout regimen of eyelid crunches and cheek-ups today if you really want to send that baby flying and impress them

I really wish this artist would just use a legible font in the speech bubbles. I like the art style of this comic but I skip it pretty much every time because the font is painful to try to read

I’d guess that was at the trailhead or right outside the trailhead of the trail he went hiking on. A lot of the trailheads I’ve seen on the pacific coast are like literally 10ft from the highway

Sounds like you’re smoking those millipedes through the wrong orifice my dude

The UK steps up to blow more meaningless hot air about climate goals they will entirely ignore the instant it causes any of their oligarchs to lose money

It’s part of the survey and mailing list all of their relationships receive the first time they wake up in OP’s bed

This ad targets women who are married to men who view women as property. Pick any 10 random towns off I-10 in Florida and see how women are treated there and you’ll understand how widespread of a problem this still is. It’s depressing that this ad needs to exist, but it does need to exist right now.

Sigh… unzips

Actually this. One of the most meaningful relationships in my life is a woman who will sit in silence with me at the opposite end of the couch, some random nonsense on TV and we’re both just on our phones sharing memes with eachother. You don’t need to fill every moment of silence between people with words

My parents had puppies when I was born and I used to roam around with them all day. The day lil baby me discovered that I could access the milkbone cupboard, we feasted like kings.

OP you have to be my favorite username to see on lemmy when I’m looking for a good entertaining post. Keep up the quality memes!

I get around this by setting my passwords to something easy to type like *******

Completely unrelated, does anybody know why my bank balance always goes back to 0 immediately after my paystubs are deposited?

I’m trying to remember the brainrot memes from my childhood but I can’t because I am le tired

The packets: “I want to get off Mr Bones’ wild ride”

Disclaimer: I’m a straight cis man, but I have/have had quite a few lesbian friends over time who have explained this joke to me. Take my explanation with the appropriate grain of salt

“the dating pool is tiny to nonexistant” is a common complaint I’ve heard from lesbians I know, probably related to the fact that I’ve mostly lived in rural areas. Given the low availability of partners, its more common to jump into relationships quickly and really commit to them. I’ve also heard a lot of “I really want somebody to live with me so I don’t just choke on something and die”. Probably less common nowadays, but I’m from a generation when it was harder to be gay publicly --> harder for lesbians to find roommates. Living with other women often meant being stigmatized by straight women that don’t understand lesbians are people and not just sex crazed harlots, and honestly that but worse because of a higher threat of violence with straight men. I’ve heard that moving in with a romantic partner as a lesbian is a move that lets you have a roommate with less objectification related to your gender/orientation. Again, idk how much of that is true today, but that is my understanding of the origins of the joke

Looks like a banging cheap/lazy meal. If you can find it, a thin BBQ sauce like Bachans makes a beautiful glaze on spam if you squirt a bit on right as you drop the spam in the pan

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China is full of shit about it being unintentional, they’ve been playing grey zone games for quite a few years now and the nations around them have caught on. I’d argue missile deployment is exactly proportional to an unplanned breach of airspace by a military asset. It’s historically a pretty good idea to build up your defense when a neighbor is brandishing their military on your borders

You ever start replying to disagree with a comment and then realize the things you’ve normalized in your romantic past are a bit fucked up? That’s where I’m at right now

I’ve had sex plenty of times I didn’t really want to in the past. It goes like

She’s horny and wants to fuck. I am not

If I say no it’s a self esteem meltdown

If I say yes it’s a bit of a workout that ends in cuddling, which I always want

It’s just always felt better for my life to be an on demand dick machine than somebody who can say no