Let me tell you about my American dream. Imagine if you will, every shit you take is a one whiper. Horrid diarrhea, one whiper, constipated shit tail that barely drops, one whiper, even your average everyday shit, a one whiper! Now imagine a welcome to your porcelain throne, a lid raising to greet you, a relaxing night nightlight, a preheated seat and even a pre-cleaning spray to ensure your shit doesn’t stick to the bowl… No more imagining, this is no longer a dream, this is in fact a top of the line Toto bidet brought to you by our friends from Japan. It’s time to invest, you deserve to have your hole automatically cleaned by a gentle heated oscillating spray and then dried with a nice warm blow. Leaving only one whipe for you to finish the drying process and to see for yourself, the magesty of a clean post whipe 3 sheets of toilet paper.
This guy shits
That’s just standard equipment for professional shitposters.
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I have two bidets, a Toto and a Brondell. Without the drying feature you would be correct on the the multiple whipes. However, in my experience after the drying function I only need one whipe. That whipe usually consists of three sheets. I also don’t have a very hairy ass, so that could also be a contributing factor to having multiple drying whipes. Regardless, it’s definitely a vast improvement compared to the standard American non bidet process.
I just use your mother’s tongue.
It’s surprisingly cheap.
Whipe my ass.
Do you mean the bidets you installato on top of the toilet or the actual
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Ass hair is just an invention of Big Paper to force you to buy more toilet paper
The jokes on them, I bought a bidet instead!
If you have that much ass hair, does using a bidet technically count as doing laundry? 🤔
Thoughts with the deep
Yes, yes it does.
That title 🤌
☠️
I hear it helps mute farts tough, so think twice before shaving.
Prickly asshair stubble sounds like a nightmare. No thanks
It’s not beard hair so it’s not as stiff. Nothing is as thick as beard hair. Use a clipper with a number 1 guard (1/8"). Less likely to blunt the hair ends, leaves some length to bend, and you won’t clip any skin folds. No ingrown either if that’s an issue.
At least your ass doesn’t get as sweaty between the cheeks.
So chafing is definitely not an issue.But to be honest: It looks so unsightly to me. I would prefer having the pre-puberty hair back there instead.
Let me hear…
Yeah, it does!
It only makes a difference if you’re not wearing pants
Saving for later so I can change “puberty” to “testosterone” and re post in the trans meme communities.
more of a shitpost than a meme
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The heading made me laugh so hard
It’s why they stole it straight from Reddit
LPT: Thongs are the cure for swamp-ass. If you can, get some wool ones.
Wool thongs? Where? I just bought some… idk Rayon? Tencel?
I had to get them custom made on Etsy. $45ish each, but 100% worth it. I highly advise against most synthetic fabrics, though.
I have some micromodal ones that are nice, but nothing performs like wool. I’ll take them off at the end of the day and they’ll be wet from sweat, but my skin is dry.
And that’s saying something, because I have hyperhydrosis.
Interesting. I already have a love for wool, perhaps I will be following down your same path.
Also thank you for sharing and then going into detail!
Jockstraps too.
Jockstraps don’t go in your butt crack, though. Thongs act like a sweat wick.
Jockstraps provide the desperate breeze that my rainforest ass needs
You mean free floss?
…like peanut butter in the carpet
Buy a bidet that’s $200 or more. Especially if you’re a functioning alcoholic. It’ll change your drinking shits game.
Be sure to shampoo and condition it properly. No one likes a messy ass of hair.
I was plenty awkward, but ass hair? At 12?
Keeps your ass warm when streaking after having a few to many drinks!
