I had a dream this morning that I got a job working concessions at a movie theatre. Every time a customer came in to get a soda, an obnoxious alarm would go off. I reached a point I couldn’t handle it, I told the manager “I’ll finish out today, but Im sorry, the alarm those cups are making is too annoying.” The manager said “I’ll let you head out now, but that’s your own alarm.”

It was my morning alarm.

Sleep, uh… finds a way.

If you declare today a loss and sleep for another 23 hours, then you’re up one hour early!

If Jeff Goldblum told me to be late for work, I would 110% be late for work

With that voice? I’d totally buy it too.

When I was in my early 20s working retail, I had a dream where I was at work ringing up a customer at the register, and the register just wouldn’t cooperate.

It kept ringing up the wrong price, wouldn’t apply a discount, and worst of all was making an awful beeping sound that kept getting louder.

The customer was getting more and more upset with me, and I was starting to panic and smack at my register to get it to shut up. It worked a few times but it just kept happening…

And that’s how my sleep-deprived brain tricked me into slapping the snooze on my 5am alarm 20 times, sleeping through practically my entire shift and nearly losing my job.

Makes sense. The more rested you are the better you can perform tasks so the quicker you could get ready.
Similarly, the higher up I am the less I worry about falling. If I fall from a height I would have plenty of time to figure something out. As I get closer to the ground the more nervous I get (stolen from British show Brass).

Wow, I didn’t know Jeff Goldblum was a jerk.

Many years ago, I had a dream in which I was arguing with someone about whether phones were capable of having seizures.

The previous night, I had taken off my wedding ring (nothing nefarious, I just don’t like many things touching me in my sleep) and set it on top of my phone so I wouldn’t lose it. When the phone alarm went off, the (metal) ring rattled like hell, but the phone case edge was enough to keep the ring on top.

I guess, in my sleep, I thought it sounded like a phone seizure.

Seems like the earlier I get up, the later I leave.

I’d sue the guy. That’s just not acceptable.

goldbrulem sounds like a claire obscur weapon

Chaotician! Chaotician!

Stupid Sexy Goldblum