To anyone who does anything other than twist and tuck:
get a life
I use the clip if I can find it…
… I mean, was RIGHT HERE a second ago…
I use the clip until there’s enough slack to do the twist and tuck.
Are you me?
There is always enough slack. That’s where they put the clip.
They’re not as good since switching to cardboard anyway
My hoarding of the plastic tabs for the past decade is finally coming in handy.
My ability to lose them immediately after grabbing first slice has not.
There’s a brand (I think it’s a small bakery here) that uses an awesome dual-wire one that I always keep because it is more a ‘clamp/clasp’ clip than a ‘tie/twist wire’ clip
I’m not sure I can picture what you mean but that sounds nice.
Wire peg.
Not quite. I’m pretty sure I have at least one spare floating around. Will take a pic when I get the chance!
I twist and roll the excess bag over the bread. Kinda like how you do socks
This is the way.
Tie a knot you monster!
I’m with you!
I don’t see what’s wrong with it at all, solid foolproof method, I’d airlock my spaceship like that
Breadboxes are bullshit and you know it
They just make me forget about the bread.
Sounds like an scp report.
Someone call the memetics department. About what, I forget…
That must be a simultaneously fascinating and terrible job. Much like a normal SCP operative but worse and more boring.
“So you contacted us on Nov 18th about a problem.”
“Did I? What was it?”
“We don’t know.”
“So what do we do now.”
“First, I’m interviewing you about the thing.”
“Thing?”
“Yes, the thing.”
“What thing?”
“The thing you can’t seem to remember.”
“Wait, hang on, I’m so confused, what are you here about?”
“So… you contacted us on Nov 18th about a problem…”
“Did I? What was it?”
“[sigh] Hi, I’m from the Memetics Department. I’m going to perform a routine inspection. I hope you don’t mind if I search through everything?”
What bread? What are we talking about again?
Idk man I think I have to buy one.
Free penicilin.
Sometimes my mind needs a break.
You put the bread in the box, while using one of the other methods.
The box is there to look pretty.
The only thing a breadbox has done for me is give me molded bread the next day. Every time.
You might want to consider cleaning your moldy box…
The last one was new and I bleached it out before using it, still happened. The bread was also new.
Bread don’t last long. In to the fridge it goes.
Do people still use these? I haven’t seen one since my great aunt’s house in the early '90s, and I’m certain it was never used for bread. Still remember the smell of that kitchen. Picked up the early, mineral tones of her weird, dank basement. God damn, I played a lot of Megaman 2 in that basement.
My gram used to put the bread and crisps in the oven when the oven wasn’t being used :)
We used to do that in my old tiny apartment until one of us forgot and turned the oven on.
Made some toast without knowing.
My brother liked to tear open the bag in the middle, then leave it as is in the open.
I guess he’s Chaotic Evil Demon King
It’s just chaotic evil.
Leaving the bag open should be chaotic neutral. It’s a sign of somebody shifting focus with neither good nor bad intentions.
See, this is more like chaotic evil. Most of this chart is just normal behavior.
Satan fears your brother
I’m hoping your brother was 3-5. Anything after that should have been slapped out of him.
He did that as a teen…
Is your brother a cat?
Chaotic Breadhitler
Put it in the freezer.
I didn’t know humans are capable of such monstrosity
Why are you booing me, I’m right!
Big bread just wants you to throw away bread and buy more.
My bread lasts for 1-2 weeks on the counter. Modern science is rad.
I mean freshly baked bread that you put in a bag last week a week or so I know dough conditioners do extend the life but when I throw my bread out it’s usually not because it’s stale because it’s moldy which conditioners don’t really help
I don’t usually eat that much bread, so a bag of bread may last me 4 weeks or so. Freezing it is the best option if you toast it anyways. The result is the exact same, except that freezing the bread will make it last essentially forever.
It’s bread. Bread is freezable. Same with cakes. You have definitely eaten defrosted bread and not even known it. You can freeze it 100 times and you won’t be able to tell the difference.
Once upon a time when toasters didn’t need high tech computers, it was possible to get a perfectly toasted piece of bread from frozen. There was a bimetallic strip that sensed the temperature of the bread, so it would always be consistent. This made freezing bread much more practical
My toaster has a snowflake button that just toasts it for a little bit longer.
I’m not sure why technology hasn’t improved toasters at all, and indeed made them go backwards. I guess the 80s and the age of microchips couldn’t solve everything…
It’ll stay fresh much longer
All the beead in the supermarkets comes from the frozen section. They take a big patch every night for the next day to defrost before adding it to the shelves.
This is how I keep an eight pack of burger buns fresh. Also freshly cooked freezes flawlessly.
I usually buy bread from Sam’s Club/Cosco and it comes in 2 packs so that’s usually what I do with the extra loaf. I don’t refreeze a loaf or just grab a frozen slice and microwave it or something though. I have standards
You can just throw a frozen slice in the toaster and you’ll get good at timing whether you want a thawed or toasted slice before you know it.
I’ve started making my own bread and keeping it in a bread box. This alignment is called “lawful insufferable”
Bread boxes promote mold growth.
I haven’t found anything that isn’t akin to old wives tales baking this claim up. Got any sources?
“retaining a small amount of humidity whilst also allowing a small amount of ventilation. Some bread boxes don’t allow any ventilation, but these can cause too much moisture retention and allow faster mold growth”
https://www.foodtoimpress.com/bread/how-to-prevent-mold-on-bread/
Bread should be stored in a cool dry place to insure it lasts longest. Breadboxes are the opposite of ideal.
Bread boxes are antiquated tech in a time where bread was meant to be eaten faster and as a method of rodent protection. The same with pie cupboards/safes.
Mine is just a foodsafe plastic bin which gets cleaned out every week. My loaves scarcely last long enough to go off anyway 🤭
See? Insufferable.
Free penicilin.
Chaotic neutral for life.
For people who value time as much as bread freshness.
Seriously, why anything else, it is the best seal and it is the fastest way. As long as you’re not going to travel with your bread, you don’t need an attach.
I am lawful and chaotic neutral.
yeah, we all know air can‘t twist, chaotic neutral is sufficient
Twist and reuse clip? Absolutely.
Chaotic neutral. Only way to live.
I don’t understand why the twist and tuck is seen as a bad thing. It’s a tight seal that is effortless to both do and undo.
Cuz it can fall apart if moved or slid. Needs to be redone when picked up.
I agree
Lawful neutral. I’m surprised more people don’t just use the clip that came with it. It’s kept the bread fresh the whole time up to you acquiring it, so why not keep using it?
Because bread is stocked daily, so the clip hasn’t done much, and many of the methods are a tighter seal or just faster
Because those little fuckers are fun to flick across the room, then get lost under the couch.
Canada Bread has switched to using paper clips. They deform and break after so many reapplies. The twist and tuck is the next best option.
I haven’t had a problem with them so far, but I can see how they are more flimsy compared to the plastic ones
I haven’t seen a bread clip in what? 15 years.
How is bread packaged and sealed where you are?
Little bit of sellotape that has the best before date on it, you used to be able to reuse that a little but they have gone real cheap with it.
Twist tie
Where i live the plastic is actually kind of stuck together and clip just makes sure it stays that way. Once you open it the first time the clip won’t have the same effect anymore
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You ought to be locked up
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Rowsdower…
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It does, and I have a fifth grade science project to prove it!
Doesn’t it dry out though? For me it’s always freezer or nothing
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Chaotic neutral, then in the fridge. Quick and easy, stays fresh.
Road kill
This post right here, officer!
You guys don’t have a bakery every few streets ? I buy a few baguettes daily, several times a day.
Edit : a few baguettes for several people, am not some kind of 400lb duck monster.
No one needs that much bread.
I think you’re responding to a large duck, or perhaps several regular ducks packed into a long coat.
Vincent Duckman?
Ducks don’t eat bread and you shouldn’t feed it to them. Feed them seeds.
The ducks don’t eat the bread. They buy it for resale.
See, that’s what the king said …
Good thing bakeries sell cake too.
They have a fiendish apetite
You know how in asia they eat everything with rice ? Here, we eat everything with bread. I never thought of it before but does seems a bit weird. Most our food is home made and we somewhat eat a lot of soup. You can make more than dozens of different recipe by throwing stuff and seasoning into boiling water. You can then eat it with some bread or pour it over other stuff.
Baguette bread is terrible though. Way too hard. Anyway most Americans live further than a mile from somewhere with bread, that’s far too much work.
No, far cheaper to buy in bulk at the superstore
Wait, what’s the “bottle hack?”
cut off top of soda bottle, pull bag through hole, screw on top.
That sounds like significantly more work than any of the other options. In what way is it a “hack”?
That’s the way hacks work. They look good on Tik Tok but then when you start to think about it you realize why we’re not already doing it that way.
I never said it was a good thing.
I mean, do it once and you have a free bag clip for a few different breads.
It’s a free bag clip that works. I used it several times and its working well
That sounds like the nost tiktok livehack omg i’ve been doing it wrong all my life, i was todays years old when i learned this lifehack, ever
It eventually gives you the firmness of toast without the toaster
This should be chaotic evil.
Too many steps, ill be at the bar
I drink my bread.
I scrolled through so many comments to see if anyone was just going to let that one go un-asked! I started reading the chart from the bottom and got to chaotic good last and went from leaning back in my chair to fully forward when I read it. Was like car tire screech “What the fuck is the bottle hack?!?!?” lol
I think chaotic good should be you tie it with a loop. It’s firmly tied closed, but you just have to pull at the end and it comes open
Proudly Chaotic neutral.
Efficient and lazy, that’s my way!
Good enough is good enough for me
It’s not just good enough, it’s probably more air tight than the other methods because the twist is longer. Also, most plastic is air permeable.
What is this “bottle hack”?
Cut off the top inch or so of a plastic bottle and put the top of the bag through it. You can then twist the cap back on the bottle to seal the bag
That makes sense for beans, but bread?
Makes sense for beans? I only recall very small bags of beans here in Finland. Other than that its only cans and boxes. Peas you can buy in pretty big bags though…
Ok, maybe I meant like dry lentils.
The original DiWhy, at least for bread
Flip lawful and true neutral, otherwise good chart
