Just a simple question…now that I’ve committing to starting HRT soon, hopefully before the end of the year, I start imagining myself as a woman in various scenarios, like this morning when waiting for a bus, I imagined a version of my current reality where I was further along in my transition.
The thing I have noticed, is when I start doing this, it also turns me on and I start getting hard. Just wondering how…normal that is. I’ve been into TG captions and erotica since my late teens, and it makes me wonder if I am confusing a fetish for a desire to transition…
I’m going to try HRT regardless to see how I feel, but would like some feedback on this point with people sharing their experiences.
That’s normal. Also, 93% of cis women are autogynephilic.
women like feeling like theyre hot?
As far as I’ve heard this sort of thing is very common. And given how long you have to be on feminizing HRT for it to have any sort of significant permanent effect, I really do think you’ll know if it’s for you before it can do any real “damage”. If it isn’t for you, statistically, you won’t even take the first pill, you won’t even order the first pill.
I’d also like to point out that having a sexual fetish versus having a desire to transition is a bit of a false dichotomy. The thing about fetishes is that they always come from somewhere, like people like to think fetishes are random but they really aren’t: Sexual and nonsexual desires often go hand in hand, and even the line between what is and isn’t sexual can be somewhat blurry and arbitrary. Maybe you only ever were into TG captions because you wanted to transition, I can’t say. Maybe when you feel turned on imagining yourself as a woman it’s because you’ve never felt fully in tune with your sexuality as a man, I can’t say. But these are very real possibilities, if not likelihoods.
You can pretty much go on r/asktransgender and search for this question and get a gazillion hits if you want to see more of people’s experiences.
But funny enough it was a post on here that got me to finally accept myself. It got me to realize that my fetishes manifested because I was basically forced to repress myself out of fear, and the only “safe” way to express those desires in our society is as a sexual kink, where people are generally permitted to let their imaginations run wild.
I was still really worried I was doing it for sexual reasons, but that got me to realize I could try experimenting with crossdressing for more than a day or week at a time. Basically, long enough so that I knew what I was feeling was euphoria and not just a sexual thrill. Because despite how kinky I thought I was, there was no way I could stay aroused for a month straight.
Were there times I felt sexy, or thought I looked good in the mirror? Sure! But you know who else gets to feel that way without as much internalized shame? cis people. And now that I’ve transitioned and my libido has dropped, it’s even more obvious. I can still get around and masturbate, but I do so like 10x less frequently, and no longer feel any shame. Heck, I barely into kink anymore. If I was some sex-addicted “AGP”, then this would either suck because I don’t have that drive anymore or it would be great because I’m “cured”. It’s basically a win-win, and shows why that narrative is complete bullshit.
I mistakenly thought “AGP” applied to me. Anyways, of transitioning ain’t for you, you’d probably quickly realize it after starting HRT. Personally, I was quite happy with the reduction in libido starting HRT.
Lots of people get excited when experiencing euphoria. It’s not abnormal. Also, most women also imagine themselves as women in sexual fantasies most of the time.
https://medium.com/@kemenatan/its-just-a-fetish-right-91cb0a4e261
^ I think this is the commonly shared article on this.
i think this sort of thing is fairly common early on because its unusual for you. but once you have been transitioned a long time it all is just another day
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