Just a simple question…now that I’ve committing to starting HRT soon, hopefully before the end of the year, I start imagining myself as a woman in various scenarios, like this morning when waiting for a bus, I imagined a version of my current reality where I was further along in my transition.
The thing I have noticed, is when I start doing this, it also turns me on and I start getting hard. Just wondering how…normal that is. I’ve been into TG captions and erotica since my late teens, and it makes me wonder if I am confusing a fetish for a desire to transition…
I’m going to try HRT regardless to see how I feel, but would like some feedback on this point with people sharing their experiences.
As far as I’ve heard this sort of thing is very common. And given how long you have to be on feminizing HRT for it to have any sort of significant permanent effect, I really do think you’ll know if it’s for you before it can do any real “damage”. If it isn’t for you, statistically, you won’t even take the first pill, you won’t even order the first pill.
I’d also like to point out that having a sexual fetish versus having a desire to transition is a bit of a false dichotomy. The thing about fetishes is that they always come from somewhere, like people like to think fetishes are random but they really aren’t: Sexual and nonsexual desires often go hand in hand, and even the line between what is and isn’t sexual can be somewhat blurry and arbitrary. Maybe you only ever were into TG captions because you wanted to transition, I can’t say. Maybe when you feel turned on imagining yourself as a woman it’s because you’ve never felt fully in tune with your sexuality as a man, I can’t say. But these are very real possibilities, if not likelihoods.