I had a drum that was stored on a huge wardrobe and was pretty unstable. One day, as i opened the wardrobe, the drum fell on my head. I laugh about it today because fortunately, the wound was not as severe as i though at first.
I was at a club and persuaded a young lady who didn’t want to dance to change her mind. As I’m leading her by both hands, walking backwards, she asked how I “got to be so smooth?” (something no other woman has ever asked me). “Well, I grew up with two older…” backwards over a chair.
It actually probably helped me out because I jumped up and laughed at myself with zero embarrassment, which means we were both laughing about it.
Working at Dairy Queen when I was a teen. I was cleaning the soft serve machine and forgot to depressurize and drain the machine before i opened the front up. As soon as I loosened the last bolt it exploded gallons of chocolate and vanilla soft serve ice cream. In an instant, the entire mall food court was sprayed in a fine mist of soft serve. Once I wiped the ice cream from my eyes and realized what just happened, I looked around and there was a perfect outline of my silhouette on the wall behind me.
straight out of Mr. Bean lol
That seems like a really shitty design for that to even be possible.
It was one of these. You can see the 4 bolts in the corners that hold the face of it on.
Reminds me of a guy I knew who was in the navy on a “boomer” (nuke missile) sub. The toilets on it had special pressurization systems to force the contents out into the ocean when underwater. Well you had better follow the instructions if you used them, part of which involved closing a ball valve before flushing. If you didn’t do this the pressurization would force the contents back up at the flushee resulting in “blowing shitters”. Since you had to clean up your own mess nobody made this mistake twice.
Oh god, im so glad mine was just soft serve!
This was a form of “soft serve” lol
I once saw a guy slip and fall on a banana-peel. He just stared at it for a good 30 seconds in disbelief before getting up.
This happened to me too. Everyone says they aren’t actually slippery. For me it was a cartoonish feet flying out from under me slip.
It was you! :D
Is this true? It feels like an AI fever dream, especially when Teddy Roosevelt suddenly showed up.
Then Porky Pig came out of nowhere and said “That’s all folks!”
I was at an OHL (minor league hockey) game and they had a couple of very little kids teams come out to skate around the ice before the anthem and puck drop, but while the kids were skating around they rolled out a long carpet to centre ice for the anthem singer to walk out on. Every single kid came around the corner right into the carpet and wiped out, one by one, someone ran out on the carpet waving their arms to try and tell them to STOP! but they either couldn’t stop or didn’t notice and all of them ate it.
The crowd was a mix of people horrified and going OH NOOOO and others laughing their asses off. It was quite the scene.
I saw a cop pull up and park illegally to go into a Dunkin donuts. It was like seeing a political cartoon in real life.
Childhood memory from Munich: We’re sitting at a table eating breakfast when a patrol car parks right outside and two police officers exit (you know how they look in their Bavarian uniforms, boots, belts and all), they’re both in the prime of their lives, tall and strong, walk straight up to the counter and say nothing more than a good morning before a breakfast spread magically appears on the counter before them, with two Maßkrug of beer. The police officers devour the breakfast and down the beers faster than I can breathe, before they say a simple thanks and go out to their car and drive away. No visible payment. My little brother and I just looked at each other, both knowing that we had just seen something one doesn’t see every day.
These little bribes are very common in the US. Shops/restaurants give cops free food/drinks to stay on their good side, and so the cops will “patrol” the area more.
I gave the small town police a dunkin gift card for taking the time to drive up to a trail head parking lot in the mountains, in the winter, and pick up my expensive crampons that I had left there. I figured they didn’t have to do it for some forgetful tourist. They said “no no” to the gift at first but I insisted.
There was a dunkin donuts near me that always had some city police in it like a cliche. I told my wife “If you ever have a problem around there go to that dunkin and there will be some cops in it.”
Stepped on a rake, smacked me right on the forehead. More plausible than you might think.
Landscaper here. That is indeed more common than you think.
Done the same. Didn’t think it could happen to me. I was wrong and paid the price.
Sideshow Bob?
This almost happened to me last week.
I stepped backward into the rake, luckily it hit me in the shoulder. It still hurt a lot though.
I once stepped on a pitchfork, wasn’t so funny as I was running barefoot and impaled my toe straight through.
At a friend’s wedding. He is known for being clumsy. Literally 30 seconds out of church after the ceremony. He shows off the ring, just hear a cartoonish pling pling and the ring rolls straight down the street drain in slow-mo. Next 30 minutes are spent recovering the ring, people in suits and dresses digging through the gutter XD
Most recently: My white cat was drinking water and my orange cat decided it wanted to attack it, my white cat screams as usual which triggers my dog to go nuts and wants to play as well which causes both cats to run. My white cat runs through the kitchen and jumps on the bench knocking over some containers we had drying out, the containers falling freaks my dog out so he starts barking at nothing in particular, meanwhile my orange cat runs down the hall and goes to turn and go up the stairs but slips (vinyl flooring) and slides into the wall making a loud thud.
This all happened in a space of like 20 seconds, while my family and I are sitting in the middle of it all eating dinner - absolutely perplexed at what just went down.
Left side of my bed collapsed while mid-coitus (cheap MDF bed, not raucous sex). Missionary, so we just rolled softly off the mattress and onto the floor. Paused briefly as we both processed what had just happened, then laughed and continued.
Went to my car at Lidl. When entering I hit my head against the roof. Bumped to the other way, door began closing, hit my other side of my head against the door, then roof again, again door and smashing into the interior in a sitting position. Door closed.
After made myself think again I thought about how my father would be disappointed over my grave that he raised my for so long and I killed myself in such a stupid way.
Did you have a long plunger stuck to your head at the time?
Doing a Horny Gorilla skydive with 5 friends.
Representative photo of a Horny Gorilla not a photo of me or my friends:
We get into the formation, actually get stable and the next thing we all see is a one jumpers deployment bag, with their main parachute in it, come out from his back. Goes above the formation, then the deployment bag comes down into the middle of the formation… goes back up… comes back down. Lines are streaming all around and it’s turning into a really dangerous situation. Getting tied up in the lines, while in free fall has a great chance of being fatal.
But it was just a surreal moment for all of us, seeing this deployment bag dancing around in the middle of the Horny Gorilla.
The person next to the jumper with the deployment bag out, reaches down and pulls the affected jumper’s Pilot Chute, which is what actually deploys the main, and tosses it into the air stream. The affected jumper went flying out of the formation as his main parachute deployed. The rest of us break and track hard.
The guy actually landed his main parachute! He did not end up cutting away and pulling his reserve. The way that deployment bag just danced in an out of the middle of the formation was just unreal and we all just stared at it for what seemed an eternity.
25 years on and we all still talk about it.
Rushing on a snowy day, walked into an open manhole. To this day I have no idea what I landed on, I was shoulders-deep and when I came back the next day the snow was gone all I saw was the manhole cover.
Watched from my kitchen window as my dad and my dog were chased by a skunk. It was exactly like a comedy sketch. First it was dog barking at skunk with dad yelling from the side door. Then it was skunk chasing dog, dog chasing skunk with dad chasing dog. Then the tables were turned, and my dad was being chased by the skunk.
It was glorious. I remember it taking ages before they could get safely inside. My dad was pissed at the time. They both were partially sprayed, but I don’t remember it being that bad of an aftermath. We laugh about it now.
When I was a teen we had adopted a neighborhood stray Maine Coon named Barney. He was a big cat. Well one day I heard screaming from the back yard and ran to the window only to see my mom running from Barney. My mom NEVER ran and was very mellow 99% of the time. I had to laugh seeing this cat that barely came up to her calf chasing her around the yard while she “ran for her life”. In his defense Barney liked to chase us kids around and we sort of trained him to do it by chasing him too. It became his play.
I asked her later why she was so scared and she just said “Well the cat was chasing me!” and I responded “What was he going to do? Nibble your ankles?”
And he never looked at tomato juice the same way ever again
And he had to sleep in the garage for 3 days.
Ya know when someone rounds a corner, they lose traction, run in place for a moment, and then fall?
Yeah. While in a factory. One of the trailers the next section was working on caught fire, so I bolted over there to assist, and no one in my section thought to hit our E-Stop. I bolted around the corner, hit the red button, turned, was booking it back, hit that corner, and was just in place until my ass hit concrete.
After all was said and done, we had a good laugh. Got called out at the next safety meeting for being a bit too enthusiastic on making my way back.
Sister and I ran across the road in winter when we were kids and slipped on the pavement ice, both going arse over elbow in a very comical cartoon slip in time with each other.
In our heads it was like synchronized swimming, but falling
