• HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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    16 hours ago

    There’s nothing wrong with not wanting casual sex. There’s nothing wrong with wanting it.

    The problem comes from saying that what you want is the only right thing, and that everyone that doesn’t want the same thing you do is wrong. Or from being deceptive about what you want in order to coerce the other person into sex.

  • Majorllama@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    The existence of casual sex implies the existence of ranked competitive sex.

    Jokes aside some people need an emotional connection to have sex. Many do not.

  • OmgItBurns@discuss.online
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    1 day ago

    Folks, some people don’t like casual sex. Some people do. Depends a lot on why a person likes sex, if they like sex, I suppose.

  • tooting_lemmy@lemm.ee
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    1 day ago

    I feel like casual sex will probably help you find a long term relationship. All my relationships started with a hookup. My marriage did too.

  • PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat
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    2 days ago

    Honestly, I always felt the same way when I was younger. People would just meet up and fuck, like a fun thing, and I was never that into it. I thought something was wrong with me that I didn’t get it, until I started spending time with girls I had a real-life connection with, and then it was magic.

    Pop culture lied to me. The club is bullshit. Casual sex is an awkward wasteland. Props if you’re into it I guess, but somehow young adult America turned it into the default, when it’s not the way.

    • TheYojimbo@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Thing is, there is not a “way”. Some people enjoy casual sex, some yearns for a deeper connection, some don’t like sex at all. It varies depending on people, sexual preferences, mood, age, etc.

      I don’t like the “they lied to me” mentality. Brother, they didn’t lie, it’s just not for you right now, and maybe never. You just need to find your way.

    • phdepressed@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      It is quite far from the default. That’s just a perception issue. Most young adults aren’t even having sex much less casual sex. Like sure tinder exists but it is primarily a fwb generator, not a meet someone new to fuck every day (at least for most people).

    • Banana@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      Capitalism turned it into default by turning dating into a catalogue you could surf from your couch instead of building meaningful connections with people.

      In the name of profit

    • Owl@mander.xyz
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      2 days ago

      young adult America turned it into the default, when it’s not the way.

      It’s the same way in europe, I hate it.

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    Fake and gay as hell. No anon ever gets laid.

    That out of the way, this is the kind of thing I wish I could tell folks about when they haven’t run into it before.

    Sex is great. Even casual sex can be great. But sometimes, casual sex is just masturbating with someone else’s genitals instead of your hand.

    When you go into it drinking and aren’t even working off of mutual sexual interest, that sometimes becomes much more likely.

    But holy fuck, sex isn’t something that is magic in and of itself. Hooking up is usually the opposite of magic. If you don’t go into it with the right frame of mind, you might as well buy a dildo or fleshlight

    • sprittytinkles@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      I had a lot of casual sex when my ex wife and I split. It was filling a gap (pun intended) in my heart, but it was also me learning my own mind, body, and soul. I don’t regret it, but towards the end of that crazy year I did start to resent myself and my actions. I had a lot of fun and met some truly awesome women, but it was all skin deep. I am in a committed stable relationship now, going on 9 years, and having gone through my ho phase, I value and treasure my partner in ways I simply could not have, had I not been a ho for a year.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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        1 day ago

        Yeah, I feel that. For me the casual sex I had was about not having the time to develop a proper relationship. But I did learn a lot about myself my doing things that way.

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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    2 days ago

    How about just having sex and then a nice conversation in bed? Maybe dude isn’t able to do the second part and it gets awkward.

    Tell you what. I’ll be the pinch hitter for future casual sex. Just dip out and I’ll take the hit for you.

  • Harvey656@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I’m assuming anon is young, cuz if I was young and single again, I’d tap that shit multiple times, hot asian milfs need love too!