That’s not how you make friends.
ikr
This is an interview💀
Yeah I know not to just come out asking them these three questions. I just had the thought of what kind of questions you could ask to quickly and greatly understand the kind of person in front of you.
Actions speak louder than words. How about three questions to ask yourself?
- Do I feel better when I have been with them?
- Do they respect me?
- Do I respect them?
I recently asked myself similar questions about two friends I knew for about 15 years. I thought I had been close with them, but I quickly answered No to all of them (plus a bunch of follow-ups I asked myself), and realized they were never real friends, or at least hadn’t been for a while, they were just people who were accustomed to seeing me and sometimes making plans together.
I always felt anxious after hanging out with them, never felt like they listened to or cared about anything I said, never remembered my preferences or things about my personal life from visit to visit, never believed me when I said I knew something, etc etc. It’s easy to get used to this kind of thing and to think it’s normal and healthy, but it was so exhausting and frustrating for me that I finally gave up and haven’t talked to them in over a year.
Sometimes these types of questions are super helpful in evaluating longstanding relationships as well as new ones.
But that very impulse is inimical to making friends. You make friends by being open to making friends, and by being interested in other people, regardless of whether they are ‘friend material.’
You shouldn’t even be assuming you know or can predict what makes someone friend material for you. One can be surprised.
Census-based friendship 😂
- What is your name?
- What is your quest?
- What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
What is your favorite color?
The nice thing about using that Monty Python quote is that if I don’t like the answer, I can then mime throwing myself into a chasm, and thus extricate myself from the situation.
What do you mean? An african or european swallow?
[Queue screaming]
What’s the average rainfall in the Amazon basin?
- hey, my name is _____, what’s yours?
- are you looking for new friends?
- great I do _____ on ______ days, would you like to join?
This is great. But how do you deal with people that you’ve invited to an event that’s public, and you didn’t gel with them?
you didn’t gel with them?
Then you don’t become friends with them. If you really want to, just make small talk and be acquaintances.
My dad, when I was a kid, used to open the door quickly, look down at my visiting friend and say “Who the hell are you?”
Then he’d shut the door abruptly, wait 3-4 seconds, then open it, laugh, and welcome them in.
If you can do that and they don’t get offended, they’re friend material.
Wide implementation of this technique would certainly explain why anxious/nervous people would have fewer friends.
no.
Removed by mod
What’s your favorite rock?
What is the strangest food you’ve ever tried?
What kind of nerd are you?
I’d say Hard Rock or Llanite.
Octopus rolls at a sushi bar. I wasn’t a fan of it. It’s too chewy for me.
I’m a well rounded nerd IMO. I’m into video games of all kinds, movies, TV shows and lore from Warhammer 40k.
How about yourself?
lore from Warhammer 40k.
We are the Hammer
- Do you like Anime?
- Do you like Attack on Titan/Death Note?
- What do you think about Eren/Light?
Yes, but I haven’t watched a ton.
Those two are my favorites of what I’ve seen (outside of Ghibli, which I feel like is a category unto itself).
I haven’t seen the last season of Attack on Titan, so don’t spoil it, but I feel like Eren is complicated enough that I’m not going to form a full opinion until I see how it plays out. Light, however, I think is an irredeemable sociopath that justified his murderlust by going after socially convenient targets until he decided it didn’t matter anymore, and began to think of himself as a god.
Fucking excellent storytelling, but I didn’t care for the L replacement kid
Congratulations! Now we can play SoulCalibur together.
Which game is your favorite, who is your favorite character, and do you only know their longest combo?
Joke’s on you! I don’t memorize any combo!
I’m a ✨“Vibe Fighter”✨ (I’m really bad, but I don’t care)
Do you mean to tell me you’re just trying to have fun when you play games?
Mea Culpa. Please, forgive this filthy sinner 🙇
I’ve never played, what do I need to know?
Is a fighting game with weapons. The original Kratos is in, along side with Yoda from Star Wars.
That sounds fun!
ASL
17, w, cali
Suddenly feeling old.
40, m, Manchester UK.
Also old, 44/f/usa
How did we get here?
-
What music do you like?
-
MAGA?
If you like music, and hate MAGAs, we can be good friends.
If you dont like music, and hate MAGAs, we can probably still be friends.
If you LOVE the music I love, but are MAGA, then you can fuck right off. I don’t hang with Nazis, no matter what your musical tastes are.
-
- Is modern medicine a scam?
- Is the current political world trend good or bad?
- Do you respect transgender people?
Reasoning:
- Are they conspiracy theorists
- Are they pro oppression and racism
- Are they tolerable of people who are seen as extremely outside of the standard norms and recognize that they don’t pose a threat to them personally
My only question is “What are the four essential freedoms of free software?”. If they can list them I know they’re alright
- Free
- Open
- Source
- Software
- Free as a bird, and this bird you cannot change
- Free to do what I want, any old time
- Free ride, take it easy
- Ok I ran out of songs now. Free as in
malloc?
Close enough, you’re cool. Here’s the actual list though (wiki link):
- Freedom 0: The freedom to use the program for any purpose.
- Freedom 1: The freedom to study how the program works, and change it to make it do what you wish.
- Freedom 2: The freedom to redistribute and make copies so you can help your neighbor.
- Freedom 3: The freedom to improve the program, and release your improvements (and modified versions in general) to the public, so that the whole community benefits.
Hehe, I was just poking fun. I love FOSS and don’t disagree intellectually with this stuff, but the way it’s presented is a little off-putting to me. A bit too dogmatic for me.
What brings you happiness or joy in life?
What do you do for fun?
What’s one thing you’d 100% recommend to someone brand new to the world?
What’s your favorite video game?
What’s your favorite movie?
What’s your favorite book?
If they say Call of Duty, Atlas Shrugged and Catcher in the Rye: They will never be my friend.
deleted by creator
What is your favorite deck
What is your favorite joker
What is your favorite spectral card
Enterprise D - I like the carpet.
Heath Ledger.
Immolate - I’m not a destroyer, but $20 is $20.
- of cards
- any that isn’t folie a deux
- not sure what you mean
The one I imagine where every right wing conservative is given a haymaker of justice.
The original tv Batman series was great growing up.
I’m too much of a nerd to understand - is this all a balatro reference?
Red
Batter
Shit I can’t remember most of them, but the “add 3 enchanted aces” is pretty solid (that is a spectral effect, right?)
As you might be able to tell, I play pretty conservatively. Though that might change once I’ve unlocked more.
- Either (checkered|erratic|anaglyph)
- (Castle|satellite) for artwork , square joker + pair of trousers combo bcus most runs end up playing 2 pairs
- Cryptid
Blue
Hologram
Cryptid
magic deck
blueprint
ankh
I need to know whether they like animals.
Just be interested and ask them questions about their life and hobbies and see if they do the same.
It’s a starting place. The rest depends on building trust and respect and common interests.
Oof. Guys be interested in people i don’t know anything about… In this day and age?
Fuuuuuuuxk im cooked
