I finally got around to seeing “I Saw The TV Glow”, and it definitely lived up to the hype.

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  • SterlingPooper [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
    8·
    2 days ago
    envy, dysphoria

    One neighbor woman who lives in the same building as me really stresses me out. The hair, the outfits, the walk… I’m pretty sure we were in school together, but I didn’t see her really in the spring, so I thought she graduated and moved.

    Anyway my assumption is “oh she’s already heard stuff about me” because of how small the school is. Like, I know she’s friends with the girlfriend of a classmate of mine. I’m like “she’s heard about me, she has an opinion about me”.

    But she’s really pretty and she always has friends hanging out and wears great outfits. I feel myself unable to speak. And like, what would I say, besides “may I have girl lessons please thank you”

    • SterlingPooper [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
      4·
      2 days ago

      Literally looking up “chosen family” because I don’t understand how one forms/how to be part of such a thing

      Idk, hope this gets better, because I’m close to saying some dumb shit

      • SterlingPooper [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
        3·
        2 days ago
        mixed feelings going into pride

        I don’t know what to expect. Any time I hope, like maybe a new connection will happen, that doesn’t really work out. I feel like a fed just walking around quietly by myself

        I’m hoping to collect goodies, I guess. Idk.

          • SterlingPooper [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
            2·
            1 day ago
            Spoiler

            One time someone posted about platonic snuggling with their girlie friends and tbh that’s maybe the most dysphoric I ever felt

            Imagine having a friend who wants to be that close to you. Imagine being physically close to another human being.

            I didn’t realize that friends are, like, affectionate, or that they can be. I feel like a broken baby, learning basic things as an adult.

            I just want to be like the pretty people who have that effortless confidence. Who seem to make friends wherever they go, who seem to always be mid-conversation.

            If I had girl friends, I would want to go shopping. I would want to learn about being a woman, about femininity. About being pretty and doing makeup and how to learn what shirts fit good. About being flirty and charming.

            Apparently expressing this makes me intense. I don’t think it’s intense to think these things. If you do, I’d appreciate if you explained why. Because I genuinely don’t see it, I’m just speaking my mind.