- cross-posted to:
- politicalmemes@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- politicalmemes@lemmy.world
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God damn! I guess from the biblical perspective, It’s a good thing for all of us the first three Republicans we’re into Mom bod, because it seems like most of them are pedophiles.
Genes were stronger back then obviously. Not like the flaky ones we have these days!
And Cain was worried someone would attack him when he was exiled. Fucking who? Ain’t there only 3 humans in existence???
I can’t believe god allowed mpreg only to patch it out later.
I liked genes with patches.
Maybe it hasn’t been patched and we just aren’t trying hard enough
A hole maybe?
Any port in a storm.
I just did a quick search on answers to this, and the few literalist ones that i saw were bad. The literalist answers all seem to boil down to “some additional thing happened that wasn’t written about”. If you can add additional situation-altering things to what the bible actually says, then you’re saying what’s written isn’t actually important
Growing up in all this (both school and church), I remember a few arguments teachers and church leaders would make:
- Essentially there was a short period of “incest is okay to get things rolling” until it wasn’t.
- The sons had children with their mother to get that ball rolling.
- There were tons of other kids not named and the siblings did it.
- A theory about other people outside the garden of Eden. This is almost certainly true since some translations clearly imply the existence of other people/towns when Cain is leaving. This is also the most plausible answer.
- We don’t know cause Genesis was likely written by Moses thousands of years later from flawed oral history
Also, the same issue and questions arise again in some ways after the Flood and Noah’s Ark. The resulting cousins all had kids together?
Mostly I remember these apologetics kind of discussions just got us in trouble for asking obvious questions and questioning logic.
While I massively criticize religion anymore, what I will say is that my belief was these religious scripts are possibly holding some truths, but the oral history, telephone game of it all, AND ancient peoples not knowing how to properly explain things results in what we have here, which, if taken literally, is fucking stupid.
It helps to think of the Bible and most religious texts as fables rather than history.
A theory about other people outside the garden of Eden.
Whenever I picture religious debates and arguments, I think of this scene from Halo 2. Nay, it was heresy!
Sounds like the kind of thing you want to wager your soul on.
While I massively criticize religion anymore, what I will say is that my belief was these religious scripts are possibly holding some truths, but the oral history, telephone game of it all, AND ancient peoples not knowing how to properly explain things results in what we have here, which, if taken literally, is fucking stupid.
It helps to think of the Bible and most religious texts as fables rather than history.
Yeah, this is the only reasonable way to look at it. Once you consider how little sense it makes, and also that all religions have some sort of origin story with the same level of truthiness, but being mutually exclusive, it makes all of them obviously wrong. I’m sure there’s some reason the stories exist. Some event happened in the past, or some people trying to explain things based on their understanding. However, that doesn’t make it true. Some of it can still be useful though as fables with moral lessons.
I’d advise against using any religious text for morals though, or you end up stoning people for someone’s wife doing something wrong, or something like that. They might have been useful at the time, but I feel we have better ways of teaching morality now. Most people don’t need to think there’s some guy in the sky watching them to not be evil.
Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings.
Yeah I think it is more a lit the metaphor of ‘we are all family’ and less about ‘fuck your siblings’
- Essentially there was a short period of “incest is okay to get things rolling” until it wasn’t.
I just figured that the people who wrote anything in Genesis couldn’t be bothered to mention any unimportant daughters that were born. Eve was only a rib.
I’m fairly sure the Bible actually does allude to Adam and Eve having heaps of other children, they just aren’t named.
Does that make things better?
Downgrades the disturbing factor down a touch. No Oedipus complex.
Oh, mum or sister, to me it’s all the same.
Is it worse to fuck your mom or your sister?
On average you share 50% of your genes with your mother, but only 25% with your sister. I don’t know if that removes any ick, tho.
There’s no right answer. Just one that’s more wrong.
there’s hundreds of english versions of ‘the bible’ and the most popular one was written just a few hundred years ago. They have been adding additional situations as needed the whole time, there’s nothing else in there if you don’t believe in divine inspiration.
No! Clearly it’s an unbroken line of a translations from God to now, with zero alterations. It’s the only logical option possible. It’s not like going from language A to language B could cause translation errors, right?
you’re not accounting for “missing” pages of the bible. after thousands of years, shit just gets lost
you can downvote me but you’re delusional to think the Bible isn’t missing parts like Jesus’ whole adolescence. i swear the stupidity from reddit is leaking
Many books are entirely missing, but not because they were ‘lost’; they were removed from canon, primarily by the Vatican, but by other authorities, too. A Protestant set of them is known as the Apocrypha.
Some of these censored books have been included in various editions. Most were removed because they were controversial for some reason or another. Often the removed texts have as much reason to exist as others that were included, but they were politically problematic.
Amongst my favourites includes a nativity story in which baby Jesus fights a dragon. I feel cheated that version was edited out.
Sure, there are parts of the story missing. I don’t say there’s anything wrong when Dune does a time skip though. It’s understandable that the author didn’t consider anything important to be happening in that time, so they save time by just skipping it. Just like we don’t need to hear about them sleeping or anything. Authors generally don’t write about meaningless things.
Like deuteronomy.
Go on?
Eh, it’s one of those ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moments. I had read the bible front to back a few times as a kid, but it wasn’t until a college class that taught the bible as literature, not religious truth, that I remembered where it was pointed out that in the book judges a bunch of people found the book of deuteronomy and brought it to the religious leader of the time to ask if it was real or whatever. I think the whole episode comprised six verses or less.
Thanks, that’s very interesting.
Motherfuckers.
Nah, that’s stupid.
we are all butt babies
Christian butt babys!
Babies are stored in the butt
Is that why the vicar always called me a little shit?
There are many things to nitpick, but that isn’t one of them. Old Testament mentions Adam had both sons and daughters.
That’s not better, is it?
Either was there’s some incest going on.
Mitochondrial Eve (evolution) proves incest, so there’s that.
She was also the main villain in the PS1 rpg classic, Parasite Eve!
Damn, there’s a name I haven’t heard in a very long time.
Parasite Eve
I’ve never played those games, but the retrospective by I Finished A Videogame about the series is one of my favorite YT videos.
Oh yeah no doubt
If Joseph Smith said the Garden of Eden was in Alabama would have been more credible
My old religion teacher said that hereditary diseases weren’t a thing back then. I don’t believe in the bible but that kinda checks out.
The Bible doesn’t say God stopped at Adam and Eve.
The meme does.From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.
It’s pretty explicit that he didn’t make more than one man. Or maybe it was just a biblical harem anime?
It wouldn’t be explicit to the Jews, as the New Testament isn’t a thing.
The Bible doesn’t say God stopped at Adam and Eve.
Yes, but I wasn’t talking about just the old testament, as that’s not the claim you made.
Uh, I’m pretty sure it was Adam and Steve.
Jeez nobody goes to church anymore.
Maybe they should give out drugs…
For my body be of coke, and my blood made of that really strong wine.
Neat
You mean something like:
Frankincense contains a compound called incensole acetate, which has been shown to have psychoactive effects, helping to alleviate anxiety and depression in studies conducted on mice. This suggests that burning frankincense may have mood-elevating properties during religious ceremonies.
Genesis 5
This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him;
2 Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.*
3 And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, and after his image; and called his name Seth:
4 And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters
Even before Seth there was Cain. Genesis 4
But the Lord said to him, “Not so; anyone who kills Cain will suffer vengeance seven times over.” Then the Lord put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him. 16 So Cain went out from the Lord’s presence and lived in the land of Nod, east of Eden.
So God made Adam and Eve who made Cain and Abel. But there are other people out there who Cain knows about and is scared of. There’s also another land called Nod. Cain also found a wife and had kids.
“Everybody comes from Adam and Eve” doesn’t work and is so stupid it really shouldn’t be a thing anymore.
That first part of genesis is just two creation myths in a trench coat.
Yeah, I mean if you think about it, if you really read it, the Bible is written to tell the Jewish people that they are the most specialist, special people on the planet. And everyone else can kinda just go fuck themselves.
Even Jesus didn’t really much like performing a miracle for someone who was from Canaan
Mathew 15:22-28:
And behold— a Canaanite woman having come out from those districts was crying out, saying, “Have mercy on me, Master, Son of David. My daughter is badly demon-possessed”. 23 But the One did not respond a word to her. And having come to Him, His disciples were asking Him, saying, “Send her away, because she is crying-out after us”. 24 But the One, having responded, said, “I was not sent-forth except for[a] the lost[b] sheep of the house of Israel”. 25 But the one, having come, was prostrating-herself before Him, saying, “Master, help me”. 26 And the One, having responded, said, “It is not good to take the bread of the children and throw it to the little-dogs[c]”. 27 But the one said, “Yes, Master. For indeed the little-dogs eat from the crumbs falling from the table of their masters!” 28 Then, having responded, Jesus said to her, “O woman, your faith is great. Let it be done for you as you wish”. And her daughter was healed from that hour.
Which, like, one reading of it says, Jesus was so cool that all you had to do was have faith in him and good things would happen to you.
But on the other reading of it, Jesus is ignoring this woman as she begs for her daughter’s life, and not until the woman debases herself in front of Jesus does he deign to sprinkle a miracle her way.
He literally called Canaanites dogs, and it’s not like it was a huge miracle. The girl was possessed by a demon. Out of all of the people on the planet, the son of God would be the one person who could just like kind of blink in that demon’s general direction and banish it. And he wouldn’t spare a blink for this woman until she begged him and debased herself for him.
And I get it, to a certain degree, I obviously don’t understand what it’s like to be the Son of God in any way, shape, fashion, or form, but I’m sure the requirements of being Jesus, like your daily existence, must have been stressful at a level that I could only comprehend if I was actually on fire.
But this kind of makes me not really trust my local pastor, talking about how Jesus loves me when I’m farther removed from being a Jew as almost anybody on the planet, not including china.
If Jesus would barely be convinced under an incredibly public and annoying situation to send a tiny little sprinkle of blessing somebody’s way because she just doesn’t happen to be a Jew, then my Native American ass likely does not stand a chance in hell.
And that really sucks, because I believe in him and I’ve prayed to him and I’ve talked to him my entire life, just being realistic about it, I mean, cross-checking the number of prayers I’ve had versus the numbers of prayers I’ve had answered, and cross-checking how much I wish I was a better person, and how often I’ve prayed for guidance, or understanding, or wisdom, or forgiveness, or strength, or anything, to become a better person. better person and what a piece of shit I actually am in practice, and don’t get me wrong, I’m not like a puppy kicker or anything. It’s just there’s nothing good about me at all.
And so when you cross compare everything in my life, you counterbalance that by the amount of good that exists in me, even though I’m not offensive, I’m not gonna go to the good place.
And there’s a part of me that wonders if it’s because I just wasn’t born the right race, you know?
I mean, there’s literally millions of non-practicing people who happen to have been born Jewish, who, if they could just confer their birth right on me, would change my life for the better in so many ways, because I would have been branched into God, and therefore God would have to hear my prayers or something. But I don’t know any non-evil way to do that. I don’t even know an evil way to do that. I don’t know any way to do that at all.
The interpretation I heard was that she was essentially not only converting to worshipping Jesus’ father, but also denouncing her old religion.
The Canaanites specifically were essentially enemies of God, and are all descendants of Caine*. So basically they are the exception to the rest of the world, and that’s why she had to unusually defenestrate herself to receive the blessing.
Jesus does help non-Jews in other instances without such hesitation in the Bible.
*From what I remember at least
I see your struggles and feel them wholeheartedly
I lost my faith when my sibling was taken from us at a very young age by a very aggressive and untreatable brain tumor
I say that so you know I’m not shilling either way.
I have had the same struggles with faith as you but you seem very devout. Have you considered converting to Judaism?https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conversion_to_Judaism
Here’s a Wikipedia link. That’s probably about as unbiased as you can get
Omg. Command & Conquer was a Bible reference this whole time? (Kane was the leader of Brotherhood of Nod)
Pretty sure Kane WAS the Bible guy. He was around when humanity was in mud huts.
Kane also shot his second in command, a guy named Seth, in the head in one mission intro.
C&C Renegade was probably the most explicit with the implication that he was the biblical Cain, but it was always a thread in the Tiberium games.
So who did Seth do the baggatting with?
Great citation!
With Eve!
Well it seems to be a lot of bullshit.
deleted by creator
The OG Earthen Vessel Egglayer (EVE)
I have a friend who is a priest. He refers to the Genesis as mythology.
Why does he draw the line at Genesis? Why not the entire Bible?
There’s this reverend from the Church of England who appears frequently on British panel shows. I forget his name. But anyways, he was on some show, let’s say QI, and they were talking about a guy who claimed to be a minister, but he turned out to be a confidence trickster, and the reverend jokingly says, “What’s the difference?”
I would guess it’s Reverend Richard Coles (wiki link).
That is the correct one. And I was able to use his name to find the clip.
A man’s gotta eat!
Because if he admits to himself that it’s all lies his life will have no more meaning. Religious indoctrination is abuse.
Religion sells certainty. The world is a big unknowable mystery, and that’s scary. So people are inclined to listen to anyone who is full of certainty and claims to know everything and how it all works and what to do.
Whise.
never bought into the rib story
Yeah never took that literally. More like God was annoyed he gave Lilith and Adam 1.0 too much independence.
so he made human 1.2 more dependent on each other by making them feel complete when in each other presence.
Like the saying “you complete me” wouldn’t apply with 1.0 because They didnt want or need to be with each other which drove them to not get along.
The "rib"is the bit he took from Adam that he eternally seeks in eve. As eve seeks to be part of Adam again. Again purely symbolic for “I gave them social needs and anxiety apart from one another. Lol”
my issue is with 1.4 or whenever the mother fucking started
::banjo music playing::
roll tide
