Bottle Episode: The Movie
I knew exactly which movie was based on these reviews.
THERE’S LIKE ZERO HINTS ON WHAT MOVIE THESE REVIEWS ARE OF YET EVERYONE HERE INHERENTLY KNOWS WHAT MOVIE IT IS AND I’M JUST SITTING HERE OBLIVIOUS OH GOD
This should help, also save you some time https://youtu.be/2fhLdREPEF4
“Ice Cube clicks button” is pretty big hint tbf
“War of the Worlds” 2025
Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.
Yeah they call it Crashed Ice, they play it in Quebec, it’s pretty gnarly.
The setup of this movie reminds me of Locke with Tom Hardy. That’s also basically a movie where you watch 1 person in a static situation (in a car in Locke) conducting remote project management. I’d have never expected a full movie to work with that setup, but Locke pulls it off imo.
Nice, 2.6 on IMDb https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13186306/
And 3% on rotten tomatoes https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/war_of_the_worlds_2025
And semi off topic: No, Phil Coulson how could you do this to yourself? You are the embodiment of SHIELD!
And 3% on rotten tomatoes https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/war_of_the_worlds_2025
aw, it was headed for a rare 0% rating til Jordan Hoffman from Entertainment Weekly had to ruin it…
I made it 10min, once he started “hacking” teamvewer with a generated master password I GTFO. They tried real hard to make it realistic by having real software and apps but it’s bad, really bad.
I think it’s the same production company that made Searching and Missing. Those movies are good.
I’d like to say it was written by Chat GPT but I don’t wanna insult some innocent LLM.
Matthew M doesn’t realize that a half star is actually an emotional response and if it took him 15 minutes to write something, that movie had him THINKING. Thats what Art should do. Art can be something you HATE. That is an emotion. Art is suppost to make you feel something, and feeling something at the extream makes it pretty fucking good Art.
feeling something at the extream makes it pretty fucking good Art.
Uh, no. A good movie should make you feel something at least close to an intended emotion set, or at least get you thinking about its content.
I’m gonna venture a guess that nobody intended for the reaction to the movie to be someone having trouble thinking about how to write a 0.5 star review for it and then quit and tell other people not to waste their time.
The people watching yet another rehash of war of the worlds are not going to be (for the most part) art snobs. When the audience that would bother watching this watch it and say it sucks, I fucking believe them.
I haven’t wasted my time because I heed warnings rather than touching hot stoves.
Stepping in shit makes me feel something, but it is not art.
It’s a readymade interactive art piece. That will be 30 million dollars.
Sorry, you need to tape the poop to a wall for it to be art.
It’s a companion piece to Fountain by Marcel Duchamp.
yeah, but nobody made it with the intent of you stepping in it
that is a very poor comparison.
So a better analogy would be your cat puking on you in the middle of the night? It’s a highly emotional performance that’s audience interactable, top shelf art.
Yeah and if i made an art panel that tricked people into stepping in shit id be an asshole, not an artist. I hear the same sentiment of your argument all the time and i think it is utterly ridiculous.
Anything coming out of Hollywood is not art either, so the point is valid.
To paraphrase Pitch Meeting: “This sounds exactly like something I want to pay real money for!”
This is definitely one I watched the pitch meeting for instead of watching the movie
The Pitch Meeting video is how I first learned this movie exists. Sent it to a friend with the message:
I haven’t watched the pitch meeting yet but there is no chance in hell this movie is better than the original
Secretly I was hoping I was wrong, but oh boy, that turned out to be an understatement. Turns out my friend had actually already watched it with his mother… Or rather, tried to watch it. They had to stop hallway through because of how shit it was.
So glad I didn’t have to experience that.
(Note: I have since learned that the movie I was thinking about is not the original, there was an older movie and they’re both based on a book)
From what I’ve read, it’s something that Jeff Bezos would pay real money for.
I think this movie is just a convoluted ploy to promote Prime Air
Is it normal bad, or is it Birdemic bad?
What movie?
The new War of the Worlds.
I still don’t know what the fuck data-eating aliens are supposed to be, but I ain’t watching that shit to understand. I just hope Brent Spiner is ok.
It’s worse than you think
Are We There Yet?.
My first fucking thought was was “yeah, how about no, I’m in fucking zoom calls all fucking day at work.” I give them credit, interesting idea as a high concept thing, but like no chance I’m even giving this 10 minutes even if the reviews weren’t utter shit.
I hate the fact that this movie causes people to make fun of the genre and think it’s bad in general. Searching is an amazing movie and I love it, and it also has its entire plot on a computer screen. But it actually works, if you have a skilled director, great actors, a really good plot, and know how to exactly use that concept to make a great movie.
The best unintentional comedy in recent years.