“All professional decisions I make come down to a simple question: what would Marx do”
Fart into my cupped hand while making (and not breaking eye contact) and proceed to “throw” it in the interviewers general direction. (Extra points if you can do this with a straight face)
I’m autistic, trans and chronically ill.
Do you have gluten free food in the cafeteria? I can’t have more than 4 people around me at any given time. Where’s the toilet for non gendered people?
Should just about do it I suppose.
Hahaha right! Wanna blow it just tell them they will have to accomidate your basic needs.
Repeat everything the interviewer says back to them in Yosemite Sam’s voice, but punctuate every sentence with “bitch!”
“Thanks for your time, but this job isn’t for me. I wish you good luck finding your candidate, though.”
Blow a job. Remove the a. Instant fail and a felony.
can’t rape the willing!
I’m guaranteed failure if I go clam diving though.
“Didn’t I see you in (name of local odd hangout, like a gay bar or something)?”
It’s definitely possible. That’s one of my favorite spots! Small world!
What? Thats easy?
“Hi what’s your name?”
“Suck yo grandpas wrinkley wang on a Wednesday!” And walk out. Done.
That’s a weird name.
“Here’s my card. If you wouldn’t mind signing it and giving it back to me, we just need 30% to get a vote on forming a union.”
Try to set up the interviewer with my friend “who isn’t as bad as they say”
Instructions unclear, dyslexia made me blow the job interviewer.
task failed successfully
i mean it depends what the job is for
Just tell the interviewer how great their feet look.
Just keep trying as hard as I can
“Why do you want this job/to work here?” “I’m just looking for something interesting to do for a while, get out of the house a bit. This sounds interesting enough.”
They hear: I don’t need a job, I may not need money, I may already have a job, I’m not picky about where I work so I’m probably not planning to stay, I’m likely to be weird or high maintenance, I’m very likely to move on quickly if I’m no longer entertained, and most importantly, I don’t need this specific job so I won’t take abuse of any sort.
This does work to land food service jobs, though, because they don’t really care. They gain and lose staff so frequently that if you just aren’t a complete shitshow you’ll get the job.
take a massive liquid shit in the trashcan and maintain eye contact the whole time while humming or singing “I’ve been working on the railroad”.
