Some guys made a ten-hour film about paint drying to piss off the censors. Replacing the wall with about anybody would probably be a vast improvement…
I too would watch paint drying on Scarlett Johansson.
If you recast Jared Leto in Tron: Aries, everyone might have actually tried instead of saying “This is gonna flop anyways, why bother writing a good script?”
I didn’t watch it specifically because of Leto. I was absolutely stoked each time I saw an ad for it (forgetting that Leto was in it) right up until his stupid face popped up in the trailer.
If they had somebody else, even a complete no-name actor, I would have watched it. It is impressive how effectively they pushed away their audience.
I was so excited for this movie until I saw him and knew it would be a dud
Double recast in the MCU:
Starlord should have been played by Jeremy Renner, and Hawkeye should have been played by Crisp Ratt.It would have fit the characterization in the comics better. In the comics, Hawkeye is more of a goofy wisecracking dude who gets lots of chicks, and Starlord is more of a responsible & respectable straight-man for the rest of the GotG to annoy with their weirdness.
This is an old one, but the Maltese Falcon is a nearly perfect movie, but it is absolutely ruined by Mary Astor as the femme fatale.
She’s supposed to be this stunningly beautiful woman, Spade’s Secretary warns him to brace himself before she comes in because “she’s a looker.” Then she enters, and she’s just sort of normal. Then his partner comes in and completely loses his shit over how gorgeous she is, and I’m sitting there thinking “Her? What’s the big deal?”
Throughout the entire film, she’s portrayed as this conniving woman whom Bogey can’t resist, but I just didn’t see any chemistry at all.
I told my son, who is an extremely knowledgeable cinephile, and he told me that’s a thing. Filmies have noticed how absolutely wrong she was for that part. She was a fine actress, but that role called for a completely different kind of actress. It was probably a studio thing, insisting that she get the part, since she was between pictures, and they wanted something high profile to boost her career, and a Bogey mystery would be perfect. Unfortunately, she was terrible in that role.
Who should replace her? Pretty much anyone else at the time, maybe Barbara Stanwyck.
Remove Joel Silver from the production team of the Matrix: Reloaded and Revolutions. Creative control to the Wachowskis.
Allow the countercultural, noir elements that made the first Matrix excellent. Police and innocent bystanders are potential if not actual enemies. Fewer set-piece fights; more skillful, thoughtful moments like the fight against Seraph.
And, certainly, a different end-fight arc. Once Smith has the Oracle’s power, a slugfest stops making sense.
Speaking as someone who genuinely loved all four Mayrix movies, while simultaneously able to recognize the decline in quality as the franchise continued: The Wachowskis didn’t understand the media they were ripping off. They were mashing action figures together, effectively, and that’s ok. The first movie was lightning in a bottle, of course the sequels wouldn’t hold up, but I’m glad they exist because it inspired a significant portion of my own writing.
I agree that having the Wachowskis back in charge of the franchise would be an improvement, not because of their skill as writers and directors, but because of the passion and vision for the art (assuming that they still care, anyway.).
You might be right but that’s not a simple casting change
this would have been so much better.
A request: who would you replace Jerry Seinfeld with in a B movie?
I’m not even joking when I say Nicholas Cage.
Snow White and the Huntsman could have been decent, but Kristen Stewart is terrible in it. She’s not a bad actress (see Underwater) but she’s not the right fit at all here.
I strongly disagree that Kirsten Stewart has an iota of talent as an actress. She has two emotions she expresses: sulky and panicky, and she does neither well. She was no better than her baseline in Underwater and that film wasn’t very good either IMO (and I love Cthulhu stuff).
However, I didn’t like Snow White and the Huntsman either. I saw it years ago but can’t really remember much about it, because I found rather bland. It wasn’t just Stewart’s milquetoast performance.
Replacing Chris Pratt in Jurassic Park. He’s cringe
Recasting Chris Pratt in all of his movies would greatly improve all of them.
He’s bad in those movies, but I don’t think it fixes them. Not by a long shot.
Which character is he in Jurassic Park? I don’t remember the guy from
communityparks and rec in there.I believe he plays Chris Pratt, same as his other films.
I should have known, lol.
Is he the little boy the brother of the computer hacker girl?
Not old Jurassic Park, he’s in the newer Jurassic world movies
Oooh
yup. with damn near anyone ffs, he’s a derpy twat.
The Borderlands movie. Anyone other than who they casted. Lilith is between late 20s to middle 30s. Roland is supposed to be a intimidating soldier. And Jack Black for Claptrap?! Come on
I’m so tired of the jack black train.
At least krieg fit
Suicide Squad. Jared Leto is replaced by Jim Carrey.
I honestly can’t tell if I’m serious about this or not.
Honestly, any movie Leto is in, replacing him with Jim Carrey would improve it.
Could you imagine a world in which Jim Carrey gets hacked to death by future-Batman to then be the Batfleck’s arch nemesis? Maybe that post-apocalyptic post credit scene would finally have some reasonable pacing and nuance.
Jesus… Jared Leto made me say that Jim Carrey as a Batman villain would have nuance…
Carrey would be great if you’re going for a 60’s era, campy Joker.
I’d love to see Crispin Glover or Andy Serkis take a turn as the Joker, myself.
Or Hamill, since the guy is having a live action resurgence.
Dude Crispin Glover Joker would be awesome
The only difference between Crispin Glover and the Joker is that Glover’s attack missed.
If Robin Williams was still around I’d want to see him in the role.
But he’s already the Riddler!
And? If DC released a movie with Jim Carrey cast in every role, would you not go see it? More Jim = more better!!
As long as Meryl Streep plays Batman I’m happy.
Meryl Streep is also played by Jim Carrey.
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Jim Carey would have absolutely made that movie.
Not even Jim Carrey could have saved that slop.
I guess Steven Seagall movies are the low-hanging fruit, huh?
Okay, semi-semi-serious answer: the first Aliens Vs Predator movie. I replace the predator with Animal from the Muppet Show. That would at least make the movie fun.
Seagal was perfect in Executive Decision though (he dies in the first 10 minutes)
Replacing any character from any movie with any Muppet makes the movie immediately better.
Gonzo as Anton Chigurh in No County for Old Men.
Cookie Monster as Hannibal Lecter.
“Humans are a sometimes food…”
Not the swedish chef? Think about it… could be good.
Along these lines, now I’m seeing Alien with Elmo as the main antagonist - would be a huge step up. (I know Elmo is not Muppet Show but is from the Muppets Cinematic Universe.)
Valerian. Recast both leads if you can, but in a pinch just DeHaan. Give Valerian himself a single iota of charisma and the movie ends up a slight but interesting lark instead of a slog.
There’s a line I’ve heard a couple times that if you swapped the pairs from Valerian and Passengers, both movies end up better, if maybe not quite “good.”
There’s such weird chemistry in Valerian, that they seem like brother and sister.
But that’s on brand for Luc Besson, who wanted Leon to be even creepier than it is.
Good call. As the scene opened I thought they were siblings. The chemistry was so bad (and Luc Besson is such a pervert), I still wasn’t sure after the first scene.
I mean, neither of them are a good choice for the character. Veronique is a smart redhead who’s good with all sorts of creatures in the comics. She’s mostly the calm and diplomatic one who can talk her way out of a situation and is usually in a good mood. Casting her with a blond person that has a resting bitch face throughout the movie is the worst offence to the character. Valerian is always portrayed as a bit hotheaded and lazy but also very smart and experienced. In the movie they made him some type of hotheaded action hero when him being experienced, techsavvy and a good strategist is a big part of his character in the comics.
That being said, the sibling thing isn’t too far off. They are never portrayed as having a romantic relationship and (spoiler)
Tap for spoiler
end up being raised together as actual siblings after being rejuvenated in the second to last comic.
This is what I came to say if it wasn’t already.
Replace both leads with a couple that has chemistry but retains that slightly antagonistic spark and it would’ve made a good movie. I don’t even have an alternate casting, just, “not them.”
All bad movies
Replace all actors with Nick Cage
Including the bad nick cage movies. Just add more nick cage to fix it.
Haven’t seen Star Trek: Into Darkness since before I watched the actual show, so I can’t really say if it would fix it, but it would be improved by removing the Cumberbatch of it all
Cucumber was not the right casting choice for Khan. But then Ricardo Montalban’s portrayal of Khan is a tough act to follow.
He could have been literally anyone else from the Botany Bay sleeper ship and you wouldn’t have to change a thing in the movie.
Yeah.
That was a really, really bad choice, especially considering how race-based casting became a huge issue around that time.
Star wars prequels. Jarjar replaced by nobody.
Idk Chris Rock would have made a good Jar Jar.
Alternatively, Star War prequels with everyone replaced by Jar Jar
Some lemmings just wamt to watch the world burn.
Meesa no starta da fire
I still want to visit the alternate timeline where Lucas didn’t cave to fan pressure. And the big reveal in Ep 3 is that Jar Jar is revealed to be the Sith Lord. Could Lucas have pulled off a Shyamalan-level surprise? We’ll never know.
Only if it meant more toy sales, which was all Lucas cared about
Eh, Jar Jar was a symptom of the problem, he himself was not a bad character. He fit in much better in The Clone Wars.
There are cuts of the prequels out there that cut out the Gungans almost completely.
There were actually few characters that were not jarring. Jar Jar doubly so. Well-chosen name.
