szmer
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
SSUPII@sopuli.xyz to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world ·
edit-2
2 days ago

short

sopuli.xyz

message-square
140
fedilink
835

short

sopuli.xyz

SSUPII@sopuli.xyz to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world ·
edit-2
2 days ago
message-square
140
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or # to comment.
  • Tangent5280@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    1 day ago

    Do you think the pearly gates have one of those “You must be THIS high to ride” signs outside?

  • leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    35
    ·
    2 days ago

    Short people will not go to heaven.

    Well, obviously. They can’t reach.

    • SippyCup@feddit.nl
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 days ago

      Short people got no reason to live

      • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        2 days ago

        For those missing the fairly obscure reference

        • blackstampede@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          2 days ago

          Not OP, but I didn’t realize it was obscure lol

  • InvalidName2@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    2 days ago

    What about people who wear solid color t-shirts that have long-ass slogans on them which are super specific and seemingly only apply to a single person on the entire face of the Earth often written in a variety of fonts and font-sizes and including bizarre details about their lives like the t-shirt that was given to me by my same-sex lover on the second Saturday in June of 2021 to celebrate the fact that I managed to clear an entire thornless blackberry bush of berries that we used to make the most delicious blackberry cobbler from that very same evening?

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      1 day ago

      What’s hilarious is I actually have that shirt

    • afox@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 day ago

      Who hurt you?

  • Nikola Tesla's Pigeon@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    1 day ago

    “Fuck short people” - Randy Newman

  • Geodad@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    42
    arrow-down
    4
    ·
    2 days ago

    Nobody will go to heaven because heaven is not real.

    • Spice Hoarder@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      14
      ·
      2 days ago

      I would sooner ride a camel through the eye of a needle than go to heaven

      • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        2 days ago

        You’re rich?

        • Valmond@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          10
          ·
          2 days ago

          Fake it til you make it?

    • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      edit-2
      2 days ago

      That’s what you believe. So do i.

      • Seth Taylor@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        2 days ago

        deleted by creator

      • Geodad@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        2 days ago

        That’s the logical conclusion based on neuroscience finding that souls don’t exist.

        • Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          2 days ago

          Pardon, what? Not saying you’re wrong but this sounds like something that can’t be proved. I would love a source if you don’t mind!

          • Geodad@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            2 days ago

            Here is one example.

    • LousyCornMuffins@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      2 days ago

      heaven does too exist they sell pies in oregon. my wife wouldn’t let me visit when we drove by last time but i was hungry

      • Geodad@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        2 days ago

        I gotta check that place out if I’m ever in the area.

    • pyre@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      arrow-down
      5
      ·
      2 days ago

      how can you tell someone anonymous online is an atheist?

      they’ll let you know

      • Geodad@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        2 days ago

        That’s fallacious reasoning.

        Not all religions believe in heaven.

        • pyre@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          3
          ·
          edit-2
          1 day ago

          oh so you’re religious? that surely contradicts my annoying atheists can’t shut the fuck up theory

          • Geodad@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            6
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            1 day ago

            Additionally, Atheists aren’t the ones who go door to door trying to convert people, or leave tracts in public restrooms.

            Theists seem to be the ones who can’t / won’t shut up.

            • pyre@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              arrow-down
              4
              ·
              1 day ago

              that’s a lot of non answer

          • Geodad@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            arrow-down
            3
            ·
            1 day ago

            I made no claim to anything other than the disbelief in heaven.

            You’re making assumptions.

            • pyre@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              edit-2
              1 day ago

              yeah the point is none of them religious people who don’t believe in heaven wrote that

              • Geodad@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                arrow-down
                3
                ·
                1 day ago

                My point is that you can’t say with certainty that I’m either religious or not by that statement alone.

                • Frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  ·
                  14 hours ago

                  Yes, we all agree that you’re very smart for passing a logical reasoning quiz.

                • pyre@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  3
                  arrow-down
                  2
                  ·
                  1 day ago

                  it wasn’t by the statement alone; it was by the fact that you couldn’t help but make the statement.

  • Pandantic [they/them]@midwest.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    133
    ·
    2 days ago

    Well since I’m already short and can’t do anything about it, I guess I’m free to have as much pork, alcohol, and tattoos as I please!

    • AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      22
      ·
      2 days ago

      You just rediscovered Dark Calvinism

      • Pandantic [they/them]@midwest.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        2 days ago

        Yo, I like this.

    • SnausagesinaBlanket@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      2 days ago

      Pork tattoos!

      • Wolf@lemmy.today
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        2 days ago

        Tats of Piggies getting shitfaced.

        • KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          1 day ago

          …and eating lobster

    • humorlessrepost@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      14
      ·
      2 days ago

      Almost makes me miss /r/ketodrunk

      • somerandomperson@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        arrow-down
        22
        ·
        2 days ago

        *c/ketodrunk

        This is not reddit, this is lemmy. Just wanted to remind it.

        • humorlessrepost@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          23
          ·
          edit-2
          2 days ago

          That’s why I said miss it. Believe it or not, Reddit did and still does exist. I’d like to think we’re not a cult that demands pretending that our before-lives never existed.

          • lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            21
            ·
            2 days ago

            c/mandelaeffect

            I see many people here collectively misremembering a platform called reddit and not gonna lie, I kind of also do somehow

            • Ricky Rigatoni@retrolemmy.com
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              17
              ·
              2 days ago

              my god you’re right

        • Ricky Rigatoni@retrolemmy.com
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          19
          ·
          2 days ago

          they’re talking about a subreddit though

  • Kiwi_fella@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    2 days ago

    When I got my first tattoo 30 years ago, my then mother-in-law said I’d be in prison soon enough. So far I’ve managed to be a good citizen (it seems following the law is easy), but I’ve got a plan for this to prove her right. When I’m about to go bye bye , I’m going to strip naked and run around on live TV, probably at a sporting event. That will at least get me arrested, and if I resist arrest and generally be annoying, I’m might go to prison to let the state pay for all the medical things associated with my demise. These tattoos are a bad influence. Hell awaits.

    • LousyCornMuffins@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      2 days ago

      my mom said i’d go to prison if i got an electric bike and she’s right. the local prison has a bike shop as part of their programs and i bought my bike there

  • burgersc12@mander.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    41
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 days ago

    Overcook chicken? Believe it or not, also no heaven

    • hansolo@lemmy.today
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      2 days ago

      Did you ever pet a dog the wrong direction and make their hair all scrunchified? Also no heaven.

      • faythofdragons@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        1 day ago

        No, but I have done that to a cat, so I can’t go to hell either.

    • billyhopscotch@midwest.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      2 days ago

      Undercook, no heaven. Overcook, undercook.

      • Mose13@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        2 days ago

        Straight to hell

  • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    2 days ago

    Did Randy Newman answer your question personally?

  • all4one@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 day ago

    Lemmyshortpost

  • cley_faye@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    1 day ago

    Heavn is a human construct, so really, nobody’s going there.

  • SkyHeart@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    2 days ago

    What if god said you may go to heaven only if you climb these stairs but you’re on a wheelchair type shit

  • halvar@lemy.lol
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    58
    ·
    2 days ago

    you can’t climb the ladder to heaven if you’re short since the rungs are too far apart

    • salty_chief@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      22
      ·
      2 days ago

      They have to go in 3’s because cartoons tell me they can stack up. They would wear a brown trench coat with shades. Then they can climb the ladder.

      • darkdemize@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        16
        ·
        2 days ago

        Some guy at the business factory tell you that?

      • _stranger_@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        2 days ago

        Spending eternity as the taint third of a three person centaur does not sound like paradise.

  • aceshigh@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    23
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 days ago

    lol I can’t believe grown ass adults believe this shit. I’m surprised most people dont start questioning this after they learn about Santa clause.

    • Valmond@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      2 days ago

      Santa was not on the Epstein list, I promise you.

      • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        10
        ·
        2 days ago

        but, like trump, he knew. santa knows about all the kiddo predators, he fucking sees you while you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake, why isn’t santa doing anything?

        • Diplomjodler@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          2 days ago

          He’s always been just another oligarchy stooge. He works for Coca-Cola Company after all.

          • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            2 days ago

            you get it. glad I’m not alone.

      • Klear@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        2 days ago

        But Epstein was on Santa’s list.

        • pyre@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          2 days ago

          well if anyone deserved a lump of coal

    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      2 days ago

      I know… A while ago I was having a conversation with a Christian co-worker who was obviously working up to some kind of “witnessing” (as someone who grew up in an Evangelical Church, I know when it’s coming).

      I told her that I know all about it, and I will never believe it. Before she could tell me I was angry at god, I told her that it isn’t possible and it wouldn’t make sense because it would be like “being mad at Santa Claus.”

      I think she was seriously taken aback. Like it blew her mind haha

    • absolutejank@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 day ago

      i don’t know, as someone who has questioned god’s existence since age 14 or so, there have been events in my life where i swear some form of providence intervened. so after reflecting on this for a year straight i think i’m a christian again because i can’t accept that this world and its happenings are one cosmic coincidence. in my mind that’s impossible.

      you’re free to choose to live as you wish and i’m gonna be real the heaven/hell stuff is decidedly bullshit, at least the way modern christians interpret it. i just wanted to get it out there that we aren’t all unquestioning buffoons. i don’t subscribe to any one specific sect. i don’t go to church. i haven’t read the bible in years. i accept that i may be wrong, but i believe that having a relationship with the christian god as i understand him is what i need and have been missing for some time.

      • KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 day ago

        some form of providence intervened

        Providence?!?! Rhode Island ?!?!?

  • Default Username@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    2 days ago

    tattoos will go to heaven will go heaven will go to heaven will go to heaven

    You guys, I think I decrypted the secret message.

    • bountygiver [any]@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      2 days ago

      Just the tattoos though, not whoever wearing them.

      • LSNLDN@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        2 days ago

        tattoos eyeballs

Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world

lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

…


2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

…


3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

…


4. No Porn/Explicit

Content


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

…


5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

…


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

…

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 3.72K users / day
  • 8.79K users / week
  • 15.1K users / month
  • 32.8K users / 6 months
  • 30 local subscribers
  • 33.6K subscribers
  • 17.6K Posts
  • 397K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • Aer@lemmy.world
  • Striker@lemmy.world
  • WiildFiire@lemmy.world
  • Decoy321@lemmy.world
  • Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world
  • YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website
  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world
  • BE: 0.19.6
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org