And she said she would celebrate when I’m gone.
I know a lot of dark and legally dubious thing about my parent’s bussiness and I’m on the verge of just spilling the beans about every possible law they’ve broken. Fuck it, trump can deport all of us then.
Take your stuff and go. What precipitated her outburst?
Stay with a friend, get your feet under you. You almost certainly will do better without people like that holding you back.
Please find a safe place away from them, especially before spilling any beans, that will make a mess for everyone, you included
Your mom sounds like she needs professional help and medication and I am truly terribly sorry for that, but remember that family is just people you happened to be born with; there is no guarantee they’re nice or even decent people.
Find and make friendships that will last your entire lifetime. Get self sufficient so that you can live without these horrible people
Absolutely fuck up her buisness.
It’s the morally correct thing to do to shitty people.
So parents are using trump like a demon or devil figure now. Behave or the trump oni will get you. Sorry. I realize your having trouble. I wonder how much is projection. Longing for the homeland and a bit of realization of her own issues.
Do not take such threats lightly. From your comments in this thread, your mother sounds mentally ill and untreated, but that doesn’t excuse or justify such threats to your life. As others have said, make preparations to retaliate and insulate yourself from their bullshit, because if they’re willing to make these kinds of threats idly, they’re MORE than willing to make them in earnest. If their business goes down in flames, and their life ruined, so be it; they seem willing to do the same or worse to you on a moment’s notice.
Protect yourself first and foremost.
A dead man’s switch is a device that will automatically trigger if it isn’t reset for long enough. For example, a bomb that goes off if the owner doesn’t radio in with a code every two hours. There are dead man’s switches that send emails. Make of this what you will.
Fuck em, DO IT
Act like she’s gonna do it: get all the paperwork you might need to defend yourself and have extra copies (notarized if possible) deposited with friends and/or a lawyer.
With that done seriously consider spilling the beans to remove that threat. Btw did you know IRS rewards whistleblowers 10-30% of any evaded taxes they recover and fines for that evasion? Sounds like a great way to fund a vacation…
Yep, this, 100%.
Take the threat seriously, respond in kind.
Deal with the emotional trauma later, right now, … that was a threat, your life is in danger, presuming you want to remain alive and well, act accordingly.
Of course, break no laws, thats not what I mean.
Blood may be thicker than water but it also makes much, much more of a mess when handled improperly.
Gather all the information, all the documentation you can, then vanish, ghost them, cut off contact, potentially move to another part of your city or another state entirely, if possible, change your phone number, etc.
Once all that’s settled, you’re settled… “defend yourself”, from a legal point of view.
Doesn’t blood being thicker then water mean the opposite of how you used it? The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
As I understand the saying, blood is thicker than water in that one is more directly connected to their kin than to others.
I am attempting to subvert this along these lines:
As there are stronger bonds of blood, so are there messier feuds of blood, squabbles between or amongst kin.
I have not heard before, the uh, formulation you have presented yourself.
Like uh, as I understand it, the entire physical symbology of a blood oath or blood brother covenant or something similar is that… the two literally intermingle their blood, so as to come closer to literally sharing the same blood as kin do.
But, your version of it is also interesting, just, not something I’d heard before.
But also… births are generally at least somewhat bloody affairs.
I was actually surprised to google this and learn that it’s not the most common understanding. Although the first time I heard it was in Boy Scouts so it probably was some type of indoctrination.
Uh just for clarity, are you saying your understanding of the phrase / concept is from the Boy Scouts?
And that it is this one that is less common?
Its just where I first heard it, relatives and others confirmed the phrase/concept later.
This version does seem to be the less common version according to Google anyway. It wasn’t until like a decade later in life that I heard someone use it to mean familial bonds are stronger.
Huh, yeah, I’d never heard your version of it before.
deleted by creator
Just telling authorities won’t accomplish much. A journal with dates, places, activities, and people will likely help. But never expect authorities to jump into action for you.
Set up a “Dead Man’s Switch” & tell her about it. Tell her if something happens to you then it’ll automatically trip sometime shortly thereafter, and air all their dirty laundry. You can even show her the article if she doesn’t believe you.
Why wait till you’re dead? Why not just release it now? I don’t get why you wouldn’t.
When someone wants you dead you don’t provoke them, you give them an incentive to not killl you. Plus it gives you the satisfaction of having them in a checkmate.
-
You don’t have to be dead for it to trigger, just don’t reset the timer before it runs out.
-
The purpose here is to maintain the current status quo (I presume OP is dependent upon their parents currently) so OP has more time to find alternate living arrangements. Having this sort of ticking time bomb to hold over her head shifts the balance of power towards OP, and may help keep the mother more in line.
-
The issue with this is people can adapt to it. He might have ‘evidence’ that they’ve done something wrong, but unless it’s ironclad they can hide what they’ve done, and now you’ve made them specifically have a reason to get rid of you.
I got the impression OP was smart enough not to fully reveal their hand. As far as specifically having a reason goes, she doesn’t sound rational enough to need any more of a reason if she were serious. I doubt they can just “get rid of” their own kid without creating significant troubles for themselves - at least not here in America.
Never mind that it just sounds like she’s got mental issues she’s taking out on OP, or she’d actually have done something rather than letting OP know what she’s planning. I figure OP just needs to shut her up for their own sanity.
Christ, that’s absolutely grim
I don’t have advice to add, I just wanted to say I’m sending love 🫂 kids deserve so much more from their parents than they often get
I’m very sorry to hear that. :( does she have undiagnosed / untreated mental health issues? It’s such a wild thing for a parent to say that it was the first thing to pop into my head.
I suspect she’s bipolar. One minute she tells me how much she “loves” me, then later tells me I’m “害人害物” which doesn’t really translate well, but its like… I think its meant as “everything/everyone you come in contact with gets harmed by you”, basically similar to “burden/menace on society”
For context, I have depression. And I have been helping a lot with the family bussiness for a long time since I was a teen, and still am doing a lot for them, but now less so due to depression, but apparantly its not enough to their standards. I just want treatment for depression, which is her fault that I have depression btw. I have a fucking headache/migraine related to depression that I can’t even do anything without just being fucking exhaused all the time. For like the past year, I didn’t even get to see a doctor because “just go outside”, they say. I mean wtf, fuck fuck fuck my head hurts, the world is so terrifying to me, all it reminds me is crime, shitty cops everywhere, and that school fight that got me arrested for standing up to a bully and self-defence.
Idk, I was supposed to call, and make an appointment, but then I kinda procrastinated and was busy doing stuff.
I’m kinda suspecting everyone in my family has problems. They are all racists, LGBT-phobic, bigoted dipshits. It’s a miracle that somehow I didn’t inherit their bigotry.
My parents never took the idea of mental health seriously. To them, they see it like some weird person in weird outfits (the doctors) telling them their brain is abnormal. nah, I’m fine, they think. They just don’t trust expertise and think they know everything. I mean, they don’t even get lawyers, and represented themselves in court, to save money from the lawyers who are trying to “scam” them. Like, lolol guess which side got unfavorable court decisions? I suspect this has something to do with how corrupted doctors (according to them) are in mainland China, so they are projecting those same fears on EVERY healthcare personnel. Just a few days ago, they told me to attend a cousin’s stupid wedding as a guest because the “喜氣” (good luck chi?) is gonna “cleanse” me of the “evil spirits” (aka: what they view as the actual problem instead of “depression”). Or some weird irritating necklace is gonna protect me from the evils. 🤦♂️
They think doctors are equivalent to like a fortune teller. What the fuck?
But also, for physical health problems, they suddenly value doctor’s opinions more.
What the fuck?
In many East Asian families, mental health issues don’t exist. You’re either pretending to gather sympathy, or you are a crazy psycopath that needs to be locked up. Autistic people get discriminated a lot in mainland China, idk what the government think about it, but society definitely has a hostile attitude towards autistic people, you’d probably never see a person with Down’s Symdrome in a school with “normal kids”, and Universities can kick out a student for their Autism with no legal anti-discrimination protection. That’s the society. I think the One Child Policy and lack of social services like social security exacerbated this sentinment. They are so afraid of disability that its a social stigma. If your only child has a disability, your retirement is supposedly fucked. The whole village just refers to the parents as “hey have you heard about that family with the ‘傻仔’ (stupid child)(the original word spoken to me is in 台山話 (Taishanese) so idk what exactly they said, so this is the closest characters I could find that matched the meaning)”. This was not reference to me, but someone else in either my father or mother’s village. Like… this is hiw they talk on WeChat… Like… zero sympathy or political correctness, the whole village see you as a useless being, not worthy of life, a “useless eater” basically.
TLDR: My mother probably has bipolar, but there is no official diagnosis.
My mother is like this too, bonus points, she didn’t raise me. Once I had a kid and realized how easy it was for me to love my child, I cut her off. Ten years or so ago.
My brother just text me she had a stroke this week. I have not responded.
I’m sorry your family are such assholes too. I hope you’re able to give yourself some self love while you sort out how to proceed and navigate the situation
That’s a lot of cultural and generational baggage to unpack. That on top of navigating a mental illness is a bad mix. Hang in there.
害人害物
Blacksheep perhaps?
Oh man. This totally sucks. I just can’t imagine how this would feel.
Of course whatever you’re feeling is valid, but the best revenge is to cut contact and live your best life.
So much this. You living a good life is more important than them living a bad life. Don’t sacrifice your future just to hurt theirs.
Do it.
Dont let the hippies tell you to turn the other cheek and do nothing while your own family tries to fuck you over and see you dead.
All you’re doing is pointing out a criminal to get deported, that’s nothing compared to what that excuse for a mother wants for you.
report them, if they are doing unethical business practices. I once followed some POC ytubers once turned maga, trying to skirt California laws, that ended up freezing thier accounts because they were mislabeling employees between full timer and contract workers, and thier para-fans called cali woke, but many who know about the worker/labor laws critcized them for trying to do something illegal.
