Hey, Lifetime:
You could literally just retell Cinderella, but instead of magic it was a halloween party and the “prince” is trying to find the girl who dropped her gorilla costume foot.
The plot writes itself.
The prince looks for the owner of the gorilla foot and finds her, only it’s not really her but just some very hairy broad who pretends it was her. They fall in love but then he finds out the truth and wants to leave but she catches up to him at the airport to explain herself. He forgives her. They kiss. So romantic. She gets a ticket and joins his flight so they can be together but little do they know that the other girl, the real gorilla foot owner…is actually a real gorilla and she is on the plane with them. Enraged because she missed out on her true love and lost her foot, she tears limbs from bodies and bites faces off.
The end.
And they go on adventures, I think it could be big. Is it too soon to whisper Oscar? Put a happy ending there and it’ll write itself, I swear. All we need, all we need are some meetings and a lead.
The foot is BigFoot, who was trying to hide from the media all along. But still just wants to be loved.
Too many Christmas movies period. Also, you notice how many movies there are about saving Christmas? No other holiday needs to be saved. When was the last time you saw a movie about somebody saving Easter or Thanksgiving?
Trains Planes and Automobiles is about Thanksgiving. Passion of the Christ is about creating Easter at least.
But yeah they’re pretty thin on the ground, especially once you get past those two holidays.
Now I want a movie about saving Easter set in bible times with Judas as the protagonist.
You could have Judas be a millenial who was sent back in time.
Hop (2011) from Illumination is exactly that formula but Easter. Also agreed very few outside of the insane number of Christmas ones.
Nightmare before Christmas is also unusual in being directly about saving Christmas but indirectly saving Halloween.
Christmas is the major Western holiday. Though religious in origin, it’s largely divorced from that so it’s a safe topic. Thanksgiving is America only and Easter is purely religious, not a safe topic.
The Persecution Complex is built right in.
It pairs nicely with the capitalist hunger for a shiny new toy
I love a good rom-com-zom-dram. (Romantic comedy zombie drama)
Shaun of the Dead covers that ground nicely.
I’m not entirely sure why but I find Simon Pegg VERY attractive in this movie. He’s like the perfect balance of heroic and vulnerable, doing his best in a bad situation.
Warm Bodies?
And I think Disney has a series of movies with zombies called something lame like Zombies, Zombies 2 etcetera
Some of those songs from those movies are low-key bangers though
100% Agree. OK, here’s my pitch, Netflix:
Lilith, a witch that lives in fast-paced New York, is also a passionate pumpkin carver. To harvest the best crop of mugwort she knows, she returns home to the town of Spooksville. As the autumn leaves turn, she meets Jake, the town’s charming ghost tour guide, at the annual Haunted House contest. He helps her harvest the mugwort and she helps him remove a curse put on him by a crazy ex-GF. She decides to stay through Halloween to see the pumpkin carving competition. As they navigate spooky pranks and unexpected feelings, they uncover a magical pumpkin that grants wishes— and Lilith wishes that Jake would love her, but the pumpkin says “I cannot grant a wish that is already fulfilled!” It turns out the ex-GF curse was to harden his heart, so all he did was be terminally online posting AI slop on Twitter. They kiss and go make like 32 babies in some cracker-ass podunk town and listen to country music and whatever else is at the end of a Hallmark movie.
Love it. That second sentence needs a record scratch and switch to a higher tempo track. Make Rob Schneider a talking pumpkin and you’ve got yourself a winner!
Let’s make it a trio of celebrity voices as 3 magic pumpkins that have to agree on a wish to grant it: Rob Schneider, Hugh Grant, and Reese Witherspoon. Maybe Queen Latifah, if that counts as “diversity.”
Record scratch is that she needs 100% organic mugwort grown on a south-facing slope in well-draining soil. First small twist- turns out the perfect crop she needs is on Jake’s back 40 and he finds her plucking mugwort leaves while driving around on a tractor harvesting his own sweaty abs in an open sleeveless orange and black snap-up plaid cowboy shirt.
Really, someone give me $1 million and I can get this done!
Yeah, good idea to pad the budget like that! My friend has a tractor we could use for free. Let’s get this one in the can and spend the remaining $990,000 on taking the witches to Playa del Carmen, a known gathering spot for inter-coven discussions.
We’re going to have a spooky bonfire! And drink potions! Thebonfireisonthebeachandthepotionsaremargaritas
As the token male, I will just be hanging around the pool eye-banging hunks. Just text me when it’s time to do the thing with the bees!
Cuz Christmas is often associated with heartfelt Romance and Halloween is often associated with dirty monkey sex.
There are a large number of witchy (in both ascethic and main characters) books that are popular now. There is a whole genre which means that the witchy / halloween themed movies are coming.
[off topic??]
A Night In The Lonesome October by Roger Zelazny.
A talking dog keeps a daily diary, starting October 1. There’s going to be a full moon on Halloween, which means the barriers are going to be particularly permeable. Various mad scientists, witches, body snatchers, werewolves, detectives, and serial killers are gathering in a small English town for The Game…
Damn, I just lost the Game.
I think theres a big overlap between religious conservatives and people who read and watch romcoms.
To the extent that the satanic panic is “conservative”.
Because October is scary season, I feel like Sam Rami fills this niche perfectly. Drag Me to Hell (2009) is peak Rami rom-com.
Wild movie!
Please don’t read the spoiler if you haven’t seen it.
What it's really about:
She has an eating disorder. Notice all the horror involves things going into or out of her mouth? Notice horror occurs every time food is on screen? She’s hallucinating, losing her hair and catching nose bleeds because she’s malnourished. Crazy shit happens and somehow the people around her don’t comment on it, because she’s seeing shit.
Yeah, I called it a rom-com because…
Spoiler
Her boyfriend believed her and was there for her, he just didn’t know how to help. Also parts of that movie were hilarious.
Oh god…
When...
the goat busted out talking I was half scared, half laughing.
Excluding horror science fiction, it’s probably my favorite in the genre.
Ok picture this, king George iii rises from the dead and our plucky heroes have to save thr 4th of July…
Here’s a fun Halloween teen rom-com adventure movie:
…and it takes place around my hometown so it’s extra fun for me to watch.
Had to zoom in to check it didn’t say rom-corns.
