so who is playin deltarune? i finished it through chapter 4 and now i’m gonna get both types of run in the can so i can pretend i’m not back to waiting a year for the next part. how bout those new secret bosses? how bout that damn

spoiler

roaring knight?

it’s nice to have parts of this game be as hard as sands undertale.

also, susie is my favorite, she’s precious, everyone drop your favorite susie moments in the comments

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  • buh [she/her, any]@hexbear.netMEnglish
    25·
    2 months ago

    As I was leaving the library a little kid pointed at me and said “she looks like a boy”

    At least my efforts aren’t going unnoticed 🫠

  • TerminalEncounter [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    23·
    2 months ago

    One of the things Im most looking forward to after bottom surgery is not having to tuck anymore. I tuck all day for these cretins and NOT ONCE has ANYONE ever said “wow I can barely tell you have a penis Terminal, great job” 🙄

  • thirstyskyline [she/her, ae/aer]@hexbear.netEnglish
    22·
    2 months ago

    hi everyonee

    trying to post shit for the billionth time cause im shy and dead inside and trying to externalize and stop lurking

    i am transfem but not on estrogen and i hate admitting that, i want to hopefully get on DIY in a good bit but that’s another issue for me because of various factors ill probably mention later on, tldr distrust in myself, insecure about some other things

    I am a ML and love my politics, although the past year has been rough on me and I, dont know, feel like I have lost my “spark”. Feel out of life, trying to learn to be a person again, which is why I lurk here so much and read about how others do, feels like insight for me

    other things about me, computer nerd, very sociable but awkward, have a loving gf that i love a lot

    i find it hard to bond with people cause mostly everyone else has better things to do but id love to meet people i get along with on here (i talk too much if prompted)

    also im very prone to selfhating and dysphoria like 80% of the time so yay

    • Thallo [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
      10·
      2 months ago

      Hi,

      I’m transfem and also not on HRT :]

      I have a wife that I love a lot :3

      also im very prone to selfhating and dysphoria like 80% of the time so yay

      You’ll fit in here~

      • thirstyskyline [she/her, ae/aer]@hexbear.netEnglish
        7·
        2 months ago

        I want to get on HRT eventually I hope once I move out, but will see, I’m like still visibly gender trangressive and I get shit for that lol but I really would want HRT probably I think

        sex, hrt

        I hope HRT just fucks up my libido cause I just hate the T libido, although this is probably me selfhating than dysphoric, dunno, always disliked it and found it “disgusting” and forceful on my partner, but I probably shouldnt view HRT as a means to this. I do find my current body repulsive but I dont know if the self hate stems from dysphoria or the dysphoria comes from self hate lmao

        I had a discussion a bit ago with my partner about this and she kinda told me she felt objectified by me in certain instances as I’m just overwhelming with T libido and I’m trying not to self hate about it but… Dunno, sucks.

        I want to qualitatively achieve a better point in life but I dont feel like “deserving of it” at all and idk brain pep talk is bad, as usual

        Sapping my energy by debating myself about selfhate moment

        Thank you for the welcome though ^^ i talk a lot sorry lol

        • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@reddthat.com
          4·
          2 months ago

          Welcome!

          spoiler

          but I probably shouldnt view HRT as a means to this. As someone who is aroace and saw HRT partially as a means to that, after starting spiro (even with a lot dose of E that probably hadn’t done anything yet), I decided that I didn’t want to go back to T-libido - I still wasn’t sure how much of the effects of E I wanted at the time. I similarly felt like it was a bad reason to try HRT (instead of just trying other medicines that are more directly aimed at suppressing libido), but I think its a perfectly fine reason. I think if you think HRT is a good solution to your libido, its probably a sign that its actually not *just *about your libido - I personally had a hard time just consciously guessing what I would or would not like and realized I just needed to jump in to test the waters.

        • sodium_nitride [she/her, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
          3·
          2 months ago

          cause I just hate the T libido

          When I went on hrt and lost my libido, it was really nice at first. But in my experience, I didn’t gain any “E libido” after (idk if that’s even a thing). It has made things difficult for me. And I don’t even have a partner that I need to attend. I just feel frustrated.

          I’m not trying to discourage you. I wouldn’t stop doing HRT no matter the cost. But maybe you should just know what the possible range of experiences is.

              • thirstyskyline [she/her, ae/aer]@hexbear.netEnglish
                4·
                2 months ago

                For me even without E temp always played a factor but dunno

                spoiler

                i dont like my libido cause i perceieve it as “manly” and imposing especially on my girlfriend as she is wayy on the low libido side (in her case id say its stress right now), and just makes me feel shitty like a demanding piece of shit

    • Des [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.netMEnglish
      8·
      2 months ago

      i am transfem but not on estrogen and i hate admitting that

      i really get this feeling. also factors I can’t readily discuss and makes me feel like a fraud sometimes. but know you aren’t, and I’m not

      i’ve posted before that i’m in a similar boat as you. i even got some DIY (which i later gave away to a former co-worker in case she gets cut off, since she’s terrified of ordering it)

      you’re transfemme even if you never put a drop of estrogen in you. I’ve found myself surprisingly contented just being socially transitioned with my partner and a few close friends (and in spaces like here)

    • TerminalEncounter [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      12·
      2 months ago

      Honestly, you probably are. I’ve not met ONE trans femme who actually rates how pretty they are, they are forever saying theyre ugly or clocky or whatever - meanwhile some of the prettiest women I’ve ever fucking seen.

      I, of course, suffer from exactly the same problem and while I’ve been told Im very pretty I also cant see it in a mirror! 😭

  • XiaCobolt [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    20·
    2 months ago

    Between transphobic in-laws, my broken phone screen, the Iran-Israel War, and general chumpfuckery, this has been a cromulent fuckcrustable of a day. Xia needs drinky.

  • EstraDoll [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    19·
    2 months ago

    ah fuck

    ah fuck

    yeah that’s a little tinge of romantic attraction towards someone I’ve known for a while now, isn’t it?

    ah fuck yeah i know that emotion too well and that’s it

    fuck…

  • XiaCobolt [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    19·
    2 months ago
    CW boomer liberal parent things about transitioning

    Both my mum and dad (who are divorced and never talk) have said they love me unconditionally and would still love me even if I was a neo-Nazi (dad) or a serial killer (mum). I get that compared to their parents and some other boomers this is “radical”.

    But both times I pushed back that comparing being a “trans woman” to something evil, is pretty fucked up.

    Also at some point one cannot subsist on love by itself, I need respect for my personhood.

    • XiaCobolt [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      13·
      2 months ago

      Man it’s crazy I used to have no self-respect and now I am the number one respecter of myself. All it took was transitioning, huh.

    • BountifulEggnog [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      12·
      2 months ago
      spoiler

      I have no idea how people don’t hear themselves

      I’m trans

      Oh sweety, we’d love you no matter what horrible thing you are 🥰🥰🥰

      like wow thanks. Do you think before you talk? I just have no idea how you can’t piece together how that sounds.

      • XiaCobolt [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
        10·
        2 months ago
        yeah

        Fortunately most of friends, colleagues and family my age and younger have just been like “oh cool, that’s why you actually look happy lol”

  • EstraDoll [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    18·
    2 months ago

    i still get dysphoric a lot

    but come to think of it, it used to be way, way worse before transitioning

    so that problem has gotten better for me, actually. this is weird to think about for me for some reason

  • nemmybun [she/her, sae/saer]@hexbear.netEnglish
    17·
    2 months ago

    So many basic femme things I’m behind on. Not only have I been slacking on voice training, but I’ve also never learned how to do that thing where you flip in the air and land on an enemy’s shoulders and snap their necks with your thighs. What have I been doing all this time

  • sodium_nitride [she/her, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    17·
    2 months ago

    I can’t feel anything. I finished the last assignment of my degree 10 minutes ago (that fucking paper who deadline got delayed to tomorrow midnight). There’s no emotions going in my head besides a general sense of dread and unease. I hate the fact that work/studying is the main thing going on in my life. I hate the fact that I actually like this field because that means I easily threw away all my hobbies to focus on this one thing for my final year.

    NSFW/dysphoria

    Even worse is that to “relax” afterwards, I loaded up some erotica, only to find that HRT has killed my libido. And even when I do get some occasional “spark”, I still can’t get myself off in a “feminine” way, leading me to be frustrated and worsening my dysphoria. I also feel like I won’t find any romantic partners with a body like this. I have a crush on a boy who is 100% not gay and I don’t even remotely pass as a girl.

    My only strategy for dealing with feelings like these is to laugh it off or make jokes about them, or even berate myself for disrespecting myself. Usually works … but not at midnight. Midnight sodium_nitride is a major doomer. A real b**ch.

  • nemmybun [she/her, sae/saer]@hexbear.netEnglish
    17·
    2 months ago

    I wish I could hire someone to train my voice. Not lead me in training exercises or whatever but like literally take my voice a la Ursula and give it back after it’s been fully trained. That’s probably the only way I’m getting the voice I want since I simply don’t have the discipline to do it myself

  • buh [she/her, any]@hexbear.netMEnglish
    16·
    2 months ago

    One of the silver linings of boymoding is the amusement from making guys confused about whether they’re in the correct bathroom (it has happened twice this week)