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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to Humor@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 days ago

Ready for Friday night

lemmy.world

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Ready for Friday night

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to Humor@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 days ago
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  • Taleya@aussie.zone
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    23 hours ago

    Bud, fuck that come get shitfaced with me and nerd about about the Titanic

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      20 hours ago

      I couldn’t possibly spend a moment with a woman who couldn’t talk with me about historical disasters.

      I held to my values and wanted good things for myself and that’s what I got.

      • Taleya@aussie.zone
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        12 hours ago

        Ayup. Autistic abrasive af here, never made any attempt to change or hide who i am. Been happily married 20 years

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      22 hours ago

      Something something Rockerfeller

      • Taleya@aussie.zone
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        12 hours ago

        Every time we launch a titanic a buncha rich cunts die.

        We need a fleet

  • DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    POV: You are a conservative (Politics on “No” column)

    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      22 hours ago

      Imagine dating a conservative. Ew.

    • gmtom@lemmy.world
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      20 hours ago

      Could also be a radical leftist, i know from the experience tslking about the opressive nsture of capitalism and how were brainwashed by the media into a consumerist lifestyle isnt something most baddies cinsider good first date talk.

      • Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com
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        20 hours ago

        I’d marry but I’m a bit weird (Lemmy user and all)

    • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      YES:

      • You’re basically a centrist!
      • Both sides make some really good points.
      • Possible ice-breaker: “Have you noticed how nobody wants to work anymore?”
      • Possible ice-breaker: “Have you noticed we can’t joke about anything anymore?”
  • Wilco@lemmy.zip
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    21 hours ago

    This made me Google Coleen Hoover to find out what she does and I still dont know what she does. Something to do with flowery pastel book covers.

  • Dr_Box@lemmy.world
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    24 hours ago

    Checks notes

  • ExploitedAmerican@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    If you’ve heard about the “pip boy” you’re gonna love the new Incel-erator 5000

  • bluesheep@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    pace yourself - 5 beers/hour

    Man’s going into the date at marathon pace

    • general_kitten@sopuli.xyz
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      23 hours ago

      but unlimited tequila judging by the picture

      • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world
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        20 hours ago

        With only 5 beers per hour, he’s obviously going to be thirsty.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    2 days ago

    PACE YOURSELF! 5 beers/hour

    Open bottle of tequila

    You’re not following the instructions!

    • Kanda@reddthat.com
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      1 day ago

      It doesn’t limit tequilas/hr

    • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Tequila isn’t a beer, there were no rules stated about tequila, thus there are no rules against drinking tequila, it’s fair game.

    • peregrin5@piefed.social
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      2 days ago

      you have to pregame at least enough to be able to talk to the girls and not just hide in a corner

      • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world
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        2 days ago

        My talking to girls level is two drinks past pushing rope territory.

        • Alaik@lemmy.zip
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          1 day ago

          Damn man, that blows.

        • Sc00ter@lemmy.zip
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          2 days ago

          Thats unfortunate for you. Im sorry to hear that

    • Maalus@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      “Name: Michael” in case he isn’t following instructions.

  • Emerald@lemmy.world
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    No politics unless feminist?

    • mholiv@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      It’s a good rule for life. :)

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Holy shit, are we still on Grey’s Anatomy?

    • bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip
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      2 days ago

      Is that show still going?

      • Kindness is Punk@lemmy.ca
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        2 days ago

        it sure is! I proxy watch it by being in the same room as my wife!

        • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
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          1 day ago

          Oh man this is years ago but my ex used to watch it (may still no idea) and when that plotline with Katherine hegl and her ghost husband was happening I remember lifting my head from my laptop and going “wait what?!” And then laughing my ass off.

          • QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works
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            24 hours ago

            Then you might have missed the show’s most unhinged moment where a gun hidden in a woman’s vaginal cavity goes off and shoots a patient.

            • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
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              23 hours ago

              You are not fucking serious.

              What kind of gun? Lol

              • QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works
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                12 hours ago

                100% serious, gungina happens in s18 I think? it’s a pistol.

        • bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip
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          2 days ago

          Damn, that’s some longevity. Are any of the original cast still around?

          • trashcan@sh.itjust.works
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            2 days ago

            Looks like these three have held on.

            imdb screenshot showing Ellen Pompeo,
Chandra Wilson, and James Pickens Jr. have been in 448 episodes from 2005–present

            Can’t really blame them.

            • bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip
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              2 days ago

              Hell yeah, that’s some job security lol

              • trashcan@sh.itjust.works
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                2 days ago

                Plus for Pompeo, being the titular character means job security for a lot more than just her.

                @kindnessispunk@lemmy.ca does it seem like her heart is still in it?

                • A Wild Mimic appears!@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  22 hours ago

                  Wasn’t the title originally the book her mother wrote?

                • Kindness is Punk@lemmy.ca
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                  Honestly yes but it seems like it might be one of those things where the cast is just fun to work with so everyone’s having a good time.

            • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              Holy shit I haven’t watched that show since 2012. Crazy still on the air.

    • invertedspear@lemmy.zip
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      2 days ago

      This has got to be at least a few years out of date. Kanye is on the avoid list, and he’s not really relevant lately. And that income in the finance field isn’t going to impress gold diggers. FNAF is a bit dated at this point too, isn’t it?

      • QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works
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        24 hours ago

        FNAF has a new game and a collab with Dead by Daylight

      • LiveLM@lemmy.zip
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        1 day ago

        A new FNAF game released just a couple days ago, can you believe it?

      • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 days ago

        I kind of love that Kanye had that breakdown where he released the Heil Hitler track and went to twitter posting all caps shit saying he was a nazi, and the internet’s collective reaction seems to have just kind of rolled their eyes and move on. Just pure apathy. It’s not shocking or contreversial, more “Yeah, we all figured that out ages ago. Fuck off.”

      • taiyang@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        My college aged students are still pretty big on FNAF so probably not dated. Ye would be a terrible conversation starter by today’s standards, though, even more so than whenever this was made, lol. “So, how to you feel about Nazi sympathisers?”

  • emeralddawn45@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 day ago

    I assumed this was a cheat sheet with the dating profile of someone they were meeting from online dating, but judging by the comments i misinterpreted. Why would someone need a cheat shret with their own name and not know what their own job is?

    • Empricorn@feddit.nl
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      12 hours ago
      • “Finance something”
      • variable income

      I know it’s a joke, but he’s lying to get laid.

    • Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com
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      20 hours ago

      5 beers a day

    • Ephera@lemmy.ml
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      1 day ago

      My interpretation is that they’re bad at smalltalk and will forget basic facts about themselves. It would fit in with them needing a list of smalltalk topics to choose/avoid…

    • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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      Because it’s their catfish identity I guess.

  • Im_old@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Hum, 75-100k for a finance something isn’t a lot I think. I mean, I know this is a joke but that sounds wrong.

    On a side note, I’d love to talk about with him about all the points under “topic to avoid”!

    • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
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      I see you also like to poke the bear lol. Seriously with me no topic is off limit I’ll challenge every opinion someone has doesn’t mean I disagree with it.

      Also Boston Celtics are no? Because Boston is racist AF?

      • Im_old@lemmy.world
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        22 hours ago

        Arguing for the sole purpose of arguing. Are you an engineer by any chance 😅

        I don’t even know what kind of sport the Celtics are a team of. Doesn’t mean I could not at least listen.

        • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
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          Nope just the ADD.

          Celtics are basketball and my first love of a team before Toronto got The Raptors. That said their fambase is kinda toxic.

    • Album@lemmy.ca
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      2 days ago

      Depends on what in “finance” and where. Assuming not sales or trading the salaries come down quite a bit depending on job level.

      • NJSpradlin@lemmy.world
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        Also, probably a recent college grad and entry level.

      • Drathro@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        AND the workload goes up! The Financial Services industry sure is fun!

      • bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip
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        2 days ago

        That’s why it’s finance something

  • Gork@sopuli.xyz
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    2 days ago

    I too sometimes forget my own name and work in something field.

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      20 hours ago

      All fields can be “finance” depending on how you look at it.

    • jonathan7luke@lemmy.zip
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      2 days ago

      https://youtu.be/XLcswkROgx8

    • burgerpocalyse@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      https://youtu.be/fXpVEwEhamw

  • theUwUhugger@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Thats why you go for femboys! He is a bro with a hole!!!

    • ☂️-@lemmy.ml
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      2 days ago

      everyone can be your bro with a hole, with the right attitude.

      • theUwUhugger@lemmy.world
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        I guess? But I am personally not gay

        • socsa@piefed.social
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          2 days ago

          Not with that attitude

        • BigBananaDealer@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          just focus on the fem aspects then youll be fine 👍

      • theUwUhugger@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        deleted by creator

  • Lovable Sidekick@lemmy.world
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    Yeah… those old hippies with their “be yourself” and “let it all hang out” - clearly the key to life is to wear a mask. Such enlighten. So fulfillment.

    • nexguy@lemmy.world
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      You can be yourself without a deluge of your own interests flooding the conversation. Unless being yourself of taking only about yourself and no listening. In that case mask on.

  • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
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    Are people touchy about Tornadoes?

    • Madison420@lemmy.world
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      Probably over overly enthusiastic which can be a bad thing in the Midwest during tornado season.

      • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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        Midwest here.

        a tornado once broke into my house and raped my cat. this is why when I see one of those sumbitches I shoot at it.

        the only good tornado is a dead tornado.

        • Madison420@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          I mean like storm chasers.

          • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            like riders on the storm?

    • MNByChoice@midwest.social
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      Not the “getting laid” vibe.

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