So I’ve realized that in conversations I’ll use traditional terms for men as general terms for both genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I’ve been thinking that it’s not as inclusive to women/trans people.
For example I would say:
“What’s up guys?” “How’s it going man?” "Good job, my dude!” etc.
Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y’all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.
So what are some better options?
Cunts
We can close this thread now. The question has been answered.
instance name checks out
Threadkiller
Found the Australian
In New Zealand of all places!
Kiwis call each other cunts almost as much as aussies. We insult each other just as much, but we have better taste.
They wish they could be our western island.
Oi! You’re a good cunt!
I’d accept bloody beautiful bastards as well.
Ah, finally! A worthy alternative.
y’all
Y’all doesn’t get enough love. It is gender neutral and extremely versatile.
Vosotros agrees.
Ustedes if you’re less formal or you live outside Spain 😁
if you’re less formal
What a fun way to phrase that. You’re not wrong but it’s making me giggle.
Or in German: euch
I’m under the impression that you pronounce it the same way this cat looks.
I agree. It’s the plural of “you” that should be the official standard, since it disambiguates “you.” It can even be broadened to include larger groups via “all y’all,” as in, not just y’all in talking to, but all y’all in the house.
It can replace “guys”, but not “man,” though.
The plural of you is yous or ye. In Ireland at least.
It’s become the go-to in my company
It sounds cringeworthy if you’re not American though. The standard way of saying it is “you lot” and other dialects, like mine, have “yous”.
I use y’all a lot and im near Chicago
I’ve started using it and I’m Canadian.
I’ve started using it and I’m north of Canada … In Detroit
Did you know that you can be north of Canada … in California?
https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-75f887668c7f322a0dd1a226e128cea3
TIL
At a more northern latitude than part of Canada. Detroit is directly north of part of Canada
yinz
Scott the Woz on Lemmy? :o
yall sounds super trashy.
A lot of people use “folks” for plural.
I feel like “guys” is fairly un-gendered but people disagree with me. Personally, I haven’t used the word “guys” to refer to anything male in what seems like forever.
“Bud” and “fella” are good singulars.
I used to have a maths teacher who called almost every number “guy”.
“And this guy goes to zero, while this guy goes to infinity!”
I really, really wish we could degender “guy” and “guys”. I know plenty of people of all genders that use the words in general to describe people, objects, concepts, everything. The only holdouts are people that insist on it specifically meaning males. Ironically, these people are often the hardcore feminists.
If other English words can change their meanings and be claimed/reclaimed by certain groups, why can’t others?
Take guy! Use it to describe whatever you want! Free it of its historically phallic shackles!
I’m a cis woman in IT, I’m guy, dude, man, bro… I don’t really care. You can change to make a specific person feel more confortable but most woman don’t care to be dude or guy
“Guys” is ungendered.
Reconsider whether it’s worth being friends with people that insist on fighting over the term “guys”.
And if you are surrounded by a lot of particularly sensitive people, just call them “friend” or “friends”. It works for people you both like and dislike. Glorious.
If you are in the Midwest, Guys is absolutely gender neutral.
Edit: downvote me all you want guys, it won’t change the truth.
Meh, people who want to fight over the term ‘guys’ are in the minority.
They can probably just be ignored.
Mortals
I’m AFAB enby, saying “you guys” and calling me “dude” is fine. Those to me aren’t gendered anymore. The people who get offended at general terms like these for groups of people need to touch grass.
But if you’re dead set on it, embrace y’all lol. Just don’t say it with a southern drawl and you’ll be fine. It’s a fantastic gender neutral term. You can also just train yourself not to add in the “you guys” to the “what’s up” phrase, and maybe just say “what’s up with you?” “What’s up with you all?” Etc.
“Offended” is a bit of a strong word.
Many trans folks are, understandably, bummed out when gendered terms that refer to their AGAB are used to refer to them.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying to avoid causing that brief moment of dysphoria. That just feels like a thoughtful and kind thing to do.
It’s good that OP means well, but also there are so many of us who do not care and are not affected because we know the speaker is using a generalized term and isn’t (usually) being malicious with it. I call several of my cisgender girl friends “dude” and “bro” and I’ll call men “girl” as a joke sometimes (like, girl what are you doing?). Many of these terms simply have completely lost their original gendered meaning in a lot of contexts.
I’m also on Team “these words have lost their meaning” but often feel opposite to OP’s intent
When people go out of their way to force inclusive language in a way that feels unnatural, and especially when I’m the only trans person in the room, it feels like I’m being singled out for my identity. It’s extra uncomfortable when they make (often incorrect) assumptions about my body while doing so.
That said, I will also never fault someone for trying to be inclusive, and ofc always respect other people’s preferences.
Good point dude
That’s great, and it’s nice that you don’t have to deal with that jolt of dysphoria in those situations.
I’m simply saying that it’s also common (and okay) to not be entirely comfortable with those terms. Especially from strangers or acquaintances.
I don’t think seeking to reduce the linguistic pattern of male as the default is a misguided effort.
You can also just train yourself not to add in the “you guys” to the “what’s up” phrase, and maybe just say “what’s up with you?” “What’s up with you all?” Etc.
This is likely the best solution, but also a hard one. Thanks for the perspective though.
Yeah I agree, bro, but I wouldn’t use guys or dudes on old ladies
Everypony.
An oft overlooked option that leaves no one indifferent.
Cursed
Folks.
Chat
This is a great plural term, thanks.
A wise man once said, “I’m a dude, he’s a dudes, she’s a dude. We’re all dudes. Hey!”
Strange though, that when you ask most men how many dudes they’ve slept with suddenly, she’s not a dude…
There’s a very big difference between “dude”, referring to someone you’re talking to, and “a dude”, referring to someone you were talking about.
Not to me there isn’t…
It’s like the difference between “my shit”, “your shit”, and “that shit”. You’re not actually referring to your own things as feces, or calling it “shitty”. It’s just your shit. As in “Don’t touch my shit”. But when you’re referring to someone else’s shit as “your shit” or “that shit” it’s more derogatory. Like, “clean up that shit” or “get your shit out of here”.
The context changes “shit” from derogatory to neutral. Similarly, “dude” can be both gender specific and neutral depending on context.
Note that people are still allowed to prefer not to be referred to as “dude”, but it’s a gender neutral term in many contexts nonetheless.
As a former resident of San Diego I have no problem sleeping with dudes. Because everyone is dude.
People think they’re clever when they ask “would you sleep with the dude?” My response is " bold of you to assume that I haven’t." Everyone is dude. You can try to twist things as much as you like but dude normalization reigns supreme.
I was talking about the default assumptions people make when they hear the word. Your circumstances don’t come in to it, unless your claim is that most people share your experiences
In San Diego the default assumption of “dude” is that it can be literally anyone or any thing.
The people there accepted this decades ago. It’s not one person’s experience. It’s a shared experience of millions. It’s a geographically specific situation with the Smurf language phenomenon. Any noun can be Smurf and everyone there understands the smurfing meaning when it’s smurfing said.
Out of the mouth of babes… 🥰
I believe that sentiment was also uttered by another wise man. A man of his time. Mr. Jeffrey Lebowski.
Earthlings is the only valid option
Earthicans
Earthletes.
I prefer humanoids. One can never be too careful…
deleted by creator
That was genuinely funny. Sry if you got the downvotes.
Fellow kids
You’re asking about a collective and also a singular…
Just in general I’d say that if you’re trying to quit a habit around trans women, go the extra mile and quit it around cis ones too. For the collective “hey guys” I have no one-word replacement (“folks/folx” sounds equally southern and somehow more cringe), but you could replace the whole phrase with “hey everybody”, “hi gang”, “how are you all”, or just “hey”.
When speaking to any woman, I would advise against calling them “dude” or “man.” Full stop. No further thoughts necessary on that one.
Just in general I’d say that if you’re trying to quit a habit around trans women, go the extra mile and quit it around cis ones too.
Sorry if it wasn’t clear enough, I’m looking for general terms to use for all people, regardless of their gender, not just trans people.
There have been some good examples for groups, but nothing that fits well for talking to one person directly.
My personal recommendation is to drop the extra title entirely. For everybody.
E.g. instead of saying “great work man” just say “great work.” It could help you prevent flubs later.
I do wish I knew some non-binary singular terms I could use, but none come to my mind
-
cousins
-
friends
-
y’all
-
neighbors
-
folks
-
party party people
-
fellow-travellers
and, of course
- fam
You forgot “comrades.”
cousins
Step-cousins for extra pizzaz
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Meatbags.
Fellow humans
This is how you get a visit from humans at AARO https://www.aaro.mil
Dipshits
